so how do you deal with bullying effectively???

[bjkmummy]

my dd is in a tiny school, moved her there due to bullying at last school and since she has been at the small school she has got dx of dyslexia and asd plus other bits - she is really really struggling now and the other kids view her as odd/different and she admits she now spends most playtimes by herself - if the other kids get too much for her she goes off to 'meditate' as she calls it - somehow yesterday whilst she was doing this a group of kids surrounded her and she has a lovely scratch mark underneath her eye - last night she was sat up in her room crying, we are doing all we can to support her, we have been into school numerous times, but they say her behaviour can also upset the other children and gave an example where she became frustrated so ended up growling at the other children. school have MS report which clearly states she doesn't have the skills to argue or can process language hence I guess the growling cos she just couldn't find the words. she is worrying about the tribunal and what will happen re secondary -we are desperately trying to protect her from it all but its hard.

below is what she wrote on her ipad last night up in her room about her day (ive changed the names in it )

My day

child B IS STILL BEING MEAN TO ME. I would like to tell a techer but they won't believe me. And today E was asking for a pencil and I said no because there was only two when it was a two seater table and H just said to me in a mean vouis and kep being mean and m terned around saying whats haperning as I think she said. And H just said she just grabed the pencil and said no. I GRABED IT BECAUSE I THORT E WAS GOING TO GRAB IT AFTHER I SAID NO. HE NEVER UNDER STANDS HOW HARD IT IS TO BE GOOD AND HE IS JUST MEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. And S and H and some over boys were running away from me and I had enof and I was just medateting and the boys came over and S ACSERDANTLEE scratched me nere the eye. I vergived him thoh. B my dyslexics techer is epic she's the best techer in the world lets say 2nd to 1st cous I like miss x and miss c and miss b and yer. So a ok day today. And I was crying because I was upset that people are not listening to the whay people are actering to me like .b it's like evry one is blined when they can open there eyes and see whats happerning. So I just want the chranbyiwall to be on are side to open everyone's eyes and see whats real and whats not so this means a lot to me so pleas give me the help I need or you'll see a 11 year old cry.

Gosh bless her
Is there anyway they could do an ASD awareness session in her class? Maybe an ASD outreach could go in and talk to the other children as they would be better experienced to do it rather than the school staff.

Some of kids in DS's class at ms used to wind him up on purpose coz they thought it was funny when he went off on one. Kids can be horrible, especially girls. These kids need to learn to understand and tolerate difference, especially as schools and workplaces are being more inclusive.

Oh i forgot to say that the awareness session was something the EP suggested for DS's class but i don't know if it ever happened. DS had a 1:1 LSA with a voice like thunder who was built like a brick shithouse so the kids didn't pick on him for long

Last night her twin brother went up and spent ages with her - he has asd himself as you know and the compassion he showed her was amazing. He is genuinely concerned about her and he is usually quite emotionless when it comes to this kind of thing but his twin protective side came out fighting last night bless him.

She is crying in school most days so now it's kind off dismissed when she gets upset as she is seen as a cry baby - she is in year 6, the only girl in year 6 and also the oldest child in the school and yet emotionally she is probably one of the youngest. She admits she spends most playtimes just walking around the playground by herself. mS was outraged when she saw what was going on and said school are just ignoring it all as essentially she is a kind nice girl who would never ever misbehave

If it's such a small school then why the hell are they ignoring it?
Can they buddy her up with any girls in year 5 for playtime?
They need to do something she can't cry in school everyday it's not fair on her. She is clearly distressed from what she wrote on her ipad.
Would it help if you showed the school what she has written?

It's hard as there are 3 younger girls in a clique and they see her as different so don't include her at all but when they all fall out she is the child they go running to. MS commented in her report that when she gets upset they just send her off to play with the KS1 children instead. I have pages and pages of things she has wrote in her ipad pleading and begging for helps we are doing all we can as her parents but with a school just fobbing us off what do we do? At school the mask goes on and she just says everything is fine, then des olives into tears as soon as she leaves the school building. We are mid tribunal process otherwise i would be pulling her out and signing her up to internet school but I think that's what I'm struggling with, that I have to out her through this to get the 'evidence' it's bloody cruel and breaking my heart to put her through it every day

I did think of suggesting pulling her out but i know your mid tribunal. How long have you got left?
I don't know what else to suggest so hopefully someone else will come along with some ideas.

I've got until January to go so quite a while, thankfully half term is nearly here

I think I would be more blunt with school.

I would insist they do some work on differences / asd and dyslexia awareness etc. You might want to look at a resource like woofers world on Ambitious about Autism or resources on anti bullying network. There are loads of resources out there schools can use.

Explaining ASD properly does help, even with DS3 brothers we find we have to explain and re-explain as they misinterpret what DS does and thinks for e.g. he hates them. If children understand how tough it is to have asd or dyslexia and how hard ordinary things can be then most children will be much more tolerant and some will probably go out their way to be nicer. But it does have to be explained. A session without your DD there about asd and dyslexia would probably help - perhaps get the school to get someone in if you don't trust the teacher to do it well.

Adult supervision as well - DS has FT adult supervision and it just wouldn't be possible for him to be surrounded by other children and hurt - an adult would step in. If they know she's vulnerable why is she left to cope alone?

what about more structure to breaks e.g. clubs etc? In DS school year 6 are play leaders and lead games for the younger children.

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!

The Social inclusion team did something called 6th sense training with my boys class, he is in year 4. It helped a little it's a small minority of boys who know which buttons to press. Ds is easily lead very literal and considers them his friends! Have tried everything somedays just have nothing better to do then wind ds up and watch him get into trouble. We're also mid tribunal Jan so relectant to move him he also has some great friends in year2 who really like and admire ds for who he is. They greet him in the mornings come round here to play emotional thier much more his peer group. He presently has more than I thought he would ever have its really difficult!!