School have disputed ASD diagnosis

[namechangerASD]

School have contacted SS and made an allegation of Emotional Abuse against Me.

School dispute his AS diagnosis. He was diagnosed as ASD, specifically AS, in Spring 2011.
School say they see no evidence of it in school.
School have said that his diagnosis needs to be clarified , with school being presented with evidence of this diagnosis.

school counsellor suggested I had attachment.

school say that ds has been made to live in an environment where he is told that there is something wrong with him, substantiated by Mum taking him to constant assessments.

Social worker had said that she did not have concerns and had that there was no case, but SW said that the school is now driving this.

I have phoned the NHS Dr who made the original diagnosis in 2011.

I am not sure if there is much else I can do, other than do what I am told and play the game.

I am so sad. I am being attacked. Implied that I have munchausens. I feel so very very sad.

Ask the social worker to phone the dr- given school are setting themselves up as medical experts. Or raise the game and ask for a professionals meeting - but at the hospital, so the dr can easily attend.

The highly trained, expert, senior paediatrician- who will know a great deal about child protection- will be -hopping mad professionally curious about a teacher trying to over-rule his carefully made diagnosis their reasoning.

I asked for details, but was refused

WTF?

So angry for you - I don't know what else to suggest, but I think in your position I would try speaking to a solicitor.

NAS have some lawyer contacts. Probably worth phoning their advice line

No harm in going to see your GP, to update them on all this c**p. If social serv are doing their job thoroughly they should contact the GP anyway.

School nurses are thin on the ground these days, but can sometimes talk sense into Heads who are misunderstanding medical matters. As Ds2 has only just started school, school nurse could liase with the old health visitor. The overall history of your family's various contacts with the NHS matters- if you truly were a deranged diagnosis-maker-upper, someone other than school really should have noticed.

If they're really that worried about your ds1, can they explain why they waited till now to report you? Diagnosis was in 2011- it's not like it was last week.

Exactly Meir. Not last week!!
Thanks everyone. Will think about what you have said.

Just a thought, if they suspected emotional abuse, wouldn't the first steps be to follow their safeguarding policy?

I'm by no means an expert on this, but it might be worthwhile checking the schools and LA websites to see what their policies say.

sorry that this is so difficult for you.

thanks to all who posted links. they are helping in my own much smaller dilemma.

Thanks everyone.
Have just read school report. school suggests that my medical condition is assessed. And also my mental well being.

I really am being attacked here aren't i? It's not just me being paranoid and neurotic that I am being attacked, is it?

Absolutely stunned by this.

I think you need to get some proper legal advice on this.

I don't know what right a school has to suggest that a parent's mental or physical condition are assessed. If they have concerns about a child, that is what they should raise with evidence to back those concerns up.

MG Law that was linked to earlier in the thread do have a lot of experience. Please contact them and get some decent advice.

perhaps they are using that tactic of attack is the best form of defence for their cock ups.

I agree get legal advice. I would sit tight and not provide any info or make any calls until you are asked for info. You don't want to be seen to be trying to interfere in any investigation. If there is safeguarding inv or child protection process then you will be told and the procedure explained. It sounds as though the sw may kick it out before that but the sw does need to 'consider' the allegation and make enough enquiries to rule out the need for further investigation. The sw has to be seen to have protected the child. Let this run its course, hurtful as it is. I wouldn't move your child immediately for the same reason that it could be interpreted as you trying to avoid investigation.

If you google munchausen and autism you will see you are not alone this has happened many times over the years.

For the moment trust the sw will do her job and it will go nowhere. If it goes further eg to a formal investigation then def get legal advice you may be able get legal aid for you or even for your child to have their own representation.

Hard as it is you just have to wait for due process to take its course.

Hopefully the allegation will be dismissed, when that has formally happened and case closed then move your child. The LA may be able to help with a managed move even if a school is 'full' on paper given the circumstances.

Great advice from Agnes.

Oh, you poor thing. I am appalled to read this, but sadly not surprised.
I have been through something similar, when I was accused of causing all of dd's issues. She has a dx of AS.
The sheer arrogance of the school is astounding.
IMO, unless you live with autism 24/7, you have no idea how it manifests.
Wishing you the best of luck x

Thank you crotchet and Gold.
Agnes, you speak sense, as per usual.

It's so much easier when it's not you though, i cannot imagine how horrible this must feel.

Rant as much as you want on here, but put on your calm face elsewhere.

I think the idea that telling a child they have AS = telling them have something 'wrong' with them is very revealing of schools attitude. I think the autism advocacy movement might have something to say about that! DS is more severe ASD and no real insight, but as I understand it many children with AS feel like there is something wrong already as they don't fit in and knowing their dx can actually come as a real relief and help them - and help them find a group where they do fit.

Can anyone take your child to school for you so you don't have to go in?

I hope for the next generation a diagnosis of autism isn't done by observation but a brain scan or eye tracking software or some other technology and it will stop all this parent blaming crap.

I have spoken to Maxwell Gillet. They said they are unable to help because , as yet, SS have not taken the action to start proceedings to remove the children. Only then can they assist me.

My husband says He thinks that deep down the problem really is with me. He could never accept putting ds1 into care or into boarding school or anything. He said our marriage is over. He suggested I left and left him to look after the kids.

I now am totally on my own.
I'm not even fighting SS anymore.
I have to fight the school to prove that my diabetes, my mental health, my munchausens, which is why I am mental and why I made up all my ds1's problems, to divert all attention away from my shit parenting, onto my son, who obviously there is nothing wrong with.
Its all me.

And I have to fight this. Alone. On my own.

Great.

oh love, that is so hard. ((hugs))

Go and ask the doctor for a diabetes sort out as 'everyone says it's affecting dc badly'. It's also ok to request a mental health referral because 'school and dc dad are concerned about me'. Chances are that at some point the NHS will say your mental health is fine, or at least not too bad- this will help in getting your dc's issues taken seriously.

If the NHS says you do have a problem, they will then have to offer you some sort of help for yourself. The counselling and meds I had were extremely useful - they made it possible for me to cope with ds's problems, and helped enormously with the huge stress of getting 'outsiders' to acknowledge his difficulties.

It didn't cure his ASD- but it probably helped other people to look past 'anxious mum' and actually see DS

Back then I posted on here- and was told "it's a marathon, not a sprint"; "save your energies, there'll only be another battle tomorrow"; "the only guaranteed SEN provision is what you provide yourself"; "banging your head on a brick wall just gives you a headache- it won't move the wall"; "eventually, it'll be obvious that you were right all along"; "for now, just log everything, you'll need it, but it won't help till later"

I thought they were bitter and cynical, and our case would be different. Nope, the old hands were just realistic and sensible. And we're doing sort-of-ok at the moment- but that pre-diagnosis phase was hideous.

We had the 'the official diagnosis must be wrong; it's clearly all you' from school too; I was rude - said "go for it if you really think child protection should prioritise us over the other cases they don't have resources to deal with"

You don't have to prove that you aren't the problem; they have to prove that you are.

Keep a record of every conversation you have and wait to see if SS take any action. They have to come and talk to you. if they do, explain very calmly exactly what has happened, give them dates and any reports you have to back you up and acknowledge that you understand they are there to make sure your DS is safe. Don't be hostile to them.

Lots of us have been told it was our parenting by school staff. I certainly was but most of us are lucky enough to have a CAMHS practitioner, autism outreach teacher or similar who can see what's happening and tell the school to pull their head in.

Time to sit back and wait for them to make the next move.

Thank you Mier.
You are so right. On many counts.
I love your last line of 'resources to deal with'.

I am now under incredible pressure whilst am investigated. That'll help my diabetes then !!!

DS1 is on the at risk register. But ds2 is not.
Whilst they investigate.
Whilst they investigate ME.

I have now received a copy of the shortened diagnosis, sent to school in 2011. Apparently not received.
Doctor also sent copy to school, this week.
How come his IEP from back in 2011 states The Dr's very unusual name on his IEP then?

Play the game. Play the game.

Oh God. I so wish I had never got him diagnosed. I so wish I had kept my big gob shut and just got on with it, without telling anyone anything.

Everything I have ever done in the last 6 years of him being at primary , has come back to haunt me.

I wish I had been more clued up. I wouldn't have bothered.

Thank you Goldmandra.

SS have taken it further, there is a case. It is open for ds1. The SW is has been on holiday for the last week but she is back later this week.

I will let her do her work. I have a copy of the diagnosis letter. I can send it to her.

But I feel so awful. I am being attacked and I feel so powerless, so sad.

Don't work too hard to get your ds1's case closed. Once this SW sees things for herself (and hears the dr's thoughts on teachers trying to un-diagnose his/her patients), she may become a very useful ally.