School have disputed ASD diagnosis

[namechangerASD]

School have contacted SS and made an allegation of Emotional Abuse against Me.

School dispute his AS diagnosis. He was diagnosed as ASD, specifically AS, in Spring 2011.
School say they see no evidence of it in school.
School have said that his diagnosis needs to be clarified , with school being presented with evidence of this diagnosis.

school counsellor suggested I had attachment.

school say that ds has been made to live in an environment where he is told that there is something wrong with him, substantiated by Mum taking him to constant assessments.

Social worker had said that she did not have concerns and had that there was no case, but SW said that the school is now driving this.

I have phoned the NHS Dr who made the original diagnosis in 2011.

I am not sure if there is much else I can do, other than do what I am told and play the game.

I am so sad. I am being attacked. Implied that I have munchausens. I feel so very very sad.

That's awful, absolutely disgraceful behaviour on behalf of the school.
If you have a confirmed diagnosis from a doctor then they don't have a leg to stand on. If SW says you have no case then it's clear you have done nothing wrong.
Do whatever SW tells you do as you have to play their game and jump through their hoops but it sounds good that they believe you.
Have you considered taking DS out of that shitty school?
I'm so angry on your behalf and so sorry you are having to put up with this and i know it's still early but

Thanks. Ds1 is leaving soon. I don't know what to do about ds2 who has just started. My friend said that the relationship had broken down. It never occurred to me, until she said it, that it had. But of course she is right.

How can I keep ds2 there after how school has treated me?

Personally i wouldn't be able to have anything to do with that school again. They have betrayed your trust really by suggesting you are mentally ill and going to SW rather than accepting DS's diagnosis. I don't know how you could move on from this with regards to your relationship with the school.
But you have to do what is best for DS2. Would he settle easily if you moved him?

What is actually going to happen? I mean, if SW says school have no case, in what way can they proceed with anything? If it's a case that you have to go along with an assessment of you, sadly, you'll probably have to just play the game, but presumably you can put SS/school directly in touch with the NHS, and they can argue amongst themselves about who has the relevant authority to make a diagnosis of ASD

I have never heard of a situation where a dx has been revoked because of what a school say.

I'd be looking at other schools for ds2 though, definitely.

How shit for you, I'm sorry. Horrible bullies.

God you poor thing :(
If ds2 has only just started, I would seriously consider moving, or there are 7 years to get through.

I'm so sorry this is happening. Hopefully the dr will ring you back soon and put your mind at ease.

So, are school able to show you their medical and psychiatric credentials?

Sorry they're putting you through this crap.

I have phoned the 3 local schools. Today. I went to visit 2. They both have waiting lists: or 3 and 5.

I have no place to move ds2 TO!!!!
His year is a baby boom year.

I'm so sorry, this is awful. A place will come up for your ds2 at some point. How much longer is ds1 there for? The school's behaviour is just bizarre and I hope someone will point that out to them soon

There it is again!!! The arrogance among school staff that makes them think they know more about our kids than we do or any Proffs!!!

Just WTF

Really feel for you, run like the wind with your other Ds.

Good luck

Please do you have any practical suggestions, other than moving schools ( which I had already started that ball rolling), of what I should be doing, on a practical level.

Is there something that I am supposed to do, To help myself?
I have phoned the Dr who diagnosed. Twice. One at the beginning of the week, secondly today.

What more can I do?

Oh no! No advice but hand holding an d

As a teacher, I am appalled at the school's behaviour.

As they are disputing the diagnosis, I assume that they have referred your DS to the Educational Psychologist for a second opinion?

In terms of practical strategies, I would make sure you have an advocate/witness who attends all school meetings with you. NAS may be able to help, or contact your. LEA to see if they have a parent partnership or advocacy service.

You need to have everything in writing, both the allegations against you and your son's diagnosis.

This bit ought to be cleared up straight away." He was diagnosed as ASD, specifically AS, in Spring 2011." ... "School have said that his diagnosis needs to be clarified , with school being presented with evidence of this diagnosis. "
Do you have a copy of the diagnosis which was made in 2011, you really should have it and (surely?) school should have been given a copy. Is it on your son's medical records, because it should be. Phone that doctor's secretary, they are very often helpful and you can provide her with the details of the paperwork that you need.

If you are "taking him to constant assessments" document where he has been taken, which professionals he has seen, why that has been done and which diagnoses he has been given.

Then you need to keep a record of everything that's happening now. If you have a conversation, follow it up with an email stating what was said. you'll need all of this so if anyone queries anything, you have all the evidence to hand.

You say you have a diagnosis of AS for your son, then as long as you can provide the paperwork, the school do not have a leg to stand on.

This is what you are up against, how strange it's happened right now.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_staffroom/2191106-has-anyone-experienced-a-perfectly-FINE-kid-becoming-a-thing-at-school

Good Luck

I have had partnership with parents at meetings with me, in the last 3 years.
I will contact them again.

I have not been asked to attend any school meetings recently, in the last 6 months.
None are planned as far as I know.

No plans to being in EP. Besides I don't really want it. Last time school refused to bring in EP, 3 years ago, even though his diagnosis letter suggested it.

I pushed. After 6 months school agreed. EP rang me to say that she had spoken to senco and no problems were reported in school. Her report suggested no additional support required in school.

He had a diagnosis. But has never had any sort of support. At all. None.

School have always insisted that he is "fine"

What good would bringing in another EP do? Confirm he needs no support in school? Thus supporting schools claims that I am making it all up?

Thank you Blanklook.
I will try and make sure I document everything.

This is the worst case of a school not understanding masking that I've heard of.

Have you heard back from the doctor who diagnosed him? Do you think he can find a way to explain this very common aspect of ASD?

This page on the NAS website says a bit about pupils using a veneer of coping in order to fit in.

Professor Tony Attwood has written about it too. This is an excerpt from one of his books "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome", by page 132:

"Conversations with parents can examine whether the child suppresses feelings of confusion and frustration at school but releases such feelings at home. I describe some children with Asperger's syndrome as being a "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" - an angel at school but a devil at home. This has been described in the literature as masquerading (Carrington and Graham, 2001). Unfortunately, a parent may be personally criticized for not being able to manage his or her child with Asperger's syndrome at home. A teacher reports that the child has exemplary behaviour in class so the behaviour must be due to a defect in how the parents manage the child's emotions. It is important that children with Asperger's syndrome can sometimes suppress their feelings at school and wait until they are home to release their anguish on younger siblings and a loving parent. Such children are more confused, frustrated and stressed than their body language communicates, and the constrained emotions are eventually expressed and released at home. The cause of the problem is the child not communicating extreme stress at school, and not a parent who does not know how to control his or her child."

Does your LA have an Autism Outreach service? They may be able to help explain the situation.

This must be horrendously stressful

It's not the bringing in of the EP which is important, it's just knowing that school has followed procedure and made the referral. If they haven't, it might be worth asking why, if they are questioning a referral made by a professional, they have not referred him to their professional IYSWIM.

It's perfectly possible for a child with AS, or many other conditions, to present at school as 'fine', and to require no extra support. This doesn't mean that their diagnosis is invalid, and it's very arrogant of the school to assume that to be the case and take it this far.

Its seems you may have a case for victimisation and harassment under the Equalities Act as the parent of a disabled child, see the attached guide which gives guidance to schools - page 6 in particular

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/315587/Equality_Act_Advice_Final.pdf

Thank you Gold.
I know about Attwoods Jekyll and Hyde and have quoted it to SW and school already. Zero effect.

Outreach too came. 3 yrs ago. Hi senco , haven't seen you in months, fine you say, oh yes, seems like it to me too..... They work for county council. I found them too chummy, not independent.
Bet that makes me sound neurotic and paranoid.
Actually no. Coz I'm been on SN boards for years, and I know no gov agency wants to admit anything, spend any money, unless they have to.

I'm really sorry tethers, I don't understand.
What procedure do you think they should have followed, that they haven't?

Tuna, I know.
I have a medical condition. Since birth. Like Gestational d**betes?
Get it? They have complained that my condition is so bad, I am an unfit mother, and my fits frighten the children. Which could well be true. No child should see epileptic fits. It's frightening, I bet.

But to say I am an unfit mother? WTF? That's almost disability discrimination?

Who the F**k do they think they are?
Questioning the diagnosis?
Now questioning my disability as if being an unfit mother? I can't see how they are not on dodgey ground.

As it stands, what is actually happening - has school made a formal request for SS to get involved? Has anyone told you of any formal procedure that is happening? Or are they just basically saying "we don't believe you and we're not going to give ds any support"?

If the former, as others have said, you have clear evidence from the paed of his diagnosis. Plus all the other back-up information. As pp have said, if they actually persist in a formal investigation, they will have to get a paed and EP to assess, and get into a formal argument with the paed who diagnosed him.

If the latter, what difference would it actually make if they just stuck to their ignorant position? You say he's leaving, so it might just be a case of riding out the rest of the year. Even if there is a battle which you win, it'll take months, and then it's very unlikely they'd even provide any support just for the end of his last year there.

I know it's massively stressful, and shit, but honestly I don't think you actually need to worry that anything will really happen. They can't reverse his diagnosis. SS will not be able to find anything that backs up their claim of Emotional Abuse - and what are the ramifications of that in any case? Has anyone even told you what this means in reality?

The only other complication (other than ds2 of course) is if you wanted to apply for a Statement (or EHCP) - is this something you're looking at?

Sorry, x-posted.

I think you need to clarify with SS exactly what this "investigation" is, what is the purpose of it?

Might be worth getting some legal advice actually, just to establish a bit more what exactly they are intended, and what they are hoping to achieve - you need to at least know what you're fighting against! Do you have anything like a free consutlation with your mortgage or home insurance or anything? Some mortgage lenders provide an hour of free advice.

There's also a solicitor been mentioned on this board before who I think may provide a free consultation - Maxwell something. Hopefully someone else may come along who remembers?

www.maxwellgillott.com/

I don't know what the specific allegations are. I have asked.
It was just stated as Emotional Abuse, that Ds1 was at risk of significant harm.
I asked for details, but was refused.