Annoyed that most professionals think all children with autism are the same.

[adrianna22]

Has anyone experience this?

DS school want to provide DS with a visual time table. Though I guess they need to discuss this with me first.

I do not have an issue with DS using a visual timetable, but he doesn't need it. The teacher told me that "All kids with autism love routine...". I bluntly corrected her and told her "...well DS doesn't like routine and not all children with autism are the same..".

I'm sick of all these common one-size therapies fits all .

DS is not visual at all, his more auditory but likes things that do actions and copies them.

I've got so many suggestions for the school to use for DS, but worried that they may feel threatened by this.

Every single professional we ever encountered in the early years trotted out exactly the same stereotypes with absolute certainty, and looked set to short-circuit when I told them that DS1 was NOT a visual learner especially, and we would rather he learn to speak if at all possible (he was developing fast in this area)rather than move straight to their default option of picture cards.

The SALT was the worst of all, telling ds he was wrong when he asked for 'toilet' instead of presenting a card with a picture of a toilet on it. I was there in the room at the time, and wanted to cry with frustration. It really seemed as if I had entered a parallel universe.

It was only one of many, many stereotypes and generalisations that we were subjected to, but it was the most dangerous, as they wanted to actively suppress the development of expressive speech (NB that's not how I believe Pecs was intended to work)

I'm sorry to say but ime it was obviously the case that the professionals had read a couple of chapters on autism back in the 70s/ 80s and that was the sum extent of their knowledge. They simply could not think beyond that. To be fair that little knowledge had often allowed them to rise far enough that I can't blame them for believing they were experts!

The SALT was the worst of all, telling ds he was wrong when he asked for 'toilet' instead of presenting a card with a picture of a toilet on it. I was there in the room at the time, and wanted to cry with frustration. It really seemed as if I had entered a parallel universe.

Did you say anything?

Jason Saying something comes much later, after evaluation and reflection.

Usually you feel quite honoured to get an appointment with such people at all, as you have been on a waiting list for light years anxious that you might not be being believed. You wait to see these people with such high expectations of their expertise that your brain takes a few appointments to adjust from 'That's weird, but they are the experts' to 'Now that's just bollox isn't it? What a waste of time this appointment is'.

And when you do, you are faced with the problem of 'now what?' and 'If the experts are crap, where does this leave my child? Where does it leave me?'

I guess i can understand that, and the fact that it must leave you feeling very lost afterwards.

IME LA 'experts' will minimise or skirt round a dc's difficulties.
Then when parents get a private dx schools don't want to take notice of it.

It's far cheaper to ignore evidence and recommendations than to act on them.

So today.......

Took ds (and dd) to their 3rd gymnastics lesson. 1st one was brilliant. Split into small groups. High expectations, excellent coaches that kept all kids focused and engaged constantly on the move.
DS drilled into engaged oblivion.

Day did the 2nd.

Today was 3rd. DS all over the place. Unsure what to do. Coaches spending a long time discussing things and moving equipment around. Ds losing place in queue and confusion causing repetitive behaviours and stimming.

I spoke to the Manager after 40 mins of this as it was so different for ds in terms of experience. Though I know also ds is tired, but this means even more structure and clear expectations. Dad's group were flying the way it was last time.

Anyway, the Manager said the coach had done research on ASD so she was surprised at my feedback. She also said that the coach knew ds' swimming teacher who had been giving her tips.

I have no words yet.

I am choosing, with the effort of every fibre in my body, to believe it is a good thing that ds is becoming known in his local community.

But my goodness I need a massive glass of wine as soon as I get home.

Really I just want to cry!!

I know zzzzz and I take your point but it is eye-wateringly expensive.

I'm just so shocked that his swimming teacher and gym coach a)know each other and b)share tips.

What tips anyway?

They were very good when I fed back though. Promised less hanging about. Gave reason for having streamed ds into lower ability group meaning more explanation needed for other kids as well as equipment adjustment.

Not a lot to argue with there though obviously I know ds would do much better (engagement wise not gymnastics wise) in a higher ability group. I do know this would be unreasonable.

Can't work out whether their 'good listening' comes from genuine caring or the usual card I play which is extremely talented dd in the same class hence double fees plus talent.

Hmm, reality or fantasy I have plaid their staff room conversation over many times in my head, for many activities.

Staff 1: Can we simply say good riddance to this family and their difficult child? Can we afford to? How's the sibling doing?

Staff 2: Actually displaying huge promise. Passing those who have been doing it for years.

Staff 1: Damn.

Sweetener sibling in swimming class too......

Some of these stories make me wonder just who is extremely rigid in their approach to life.

Lucky to have a SALT who is very flexible. If DS2 starts to display a particular aptitude, she rolls with it.

"Children with autism take things literally".

Cue patronizing explanations of the meaning of "pull your socks up" and "it's raining cats and dogs".

the number of times I've heard this trite nonsense!!

Yes. My Ds has NEVER had difficulty with understanding the phrase 'chairs have 4 legs' despite the one he is tipping rarely having them, or 'you're driving me up the wall' though he laughs, and nor 'the corner shop' which is neither on the corner nor sells corners.

And doesn't EVERYONE visualise cats and dogs dropping from the sky the first time they hear that phrase anyway?

I have absolutely know idea if i take things too literally or not. I'm thinking it's something other people have to point out and tell you about.

Ds does like logic in his language though it is more of an irritation than a problem. For example he thinks no town should have a high street unless somewhere nearby is the low street. Otherwise why is it called that?

He doesn't like getting ON a bus when you get IN a car.
He copes and uses them correctly but gets cross a bit. It's detailed language analysis because he has to learn with rules not osmosis like my dd, but the fact that he DOES analyse I hope will be helpful to him.

For example he thinks no town should have a high street unless somewhere nearby is the low street. Otherwise why is it called that?

Because it's a street with a high volume of traffic and people... at least that's what I've always assumed?

Thanks. I'll tell him that but he'll still probably want to know where the low activity street is, and most likely assess every street we go down as to how it compares with the high street in terms of traffic volume and be annoyed if he comes across as one he perceived as busier.

He's actually pretty easy going actually and these things are either a minor annoyance or source of amusement after initial confusion.