It's difficult.
If I make an effort not to stare, am I being rude by averting my eyes? Does the person think I am ignoring them or pitying them? Do I stare anyway? I mean I look, of course I look, I'm a curious person and someone 'different' tends to catch my eye. I tend to smile and perhaps say 'Good Morning' but then would I have made contact at all if they had been 'normal' - probably not, so am I singling these people out for special treatment?
I perhaps make contact with strangers a little more often than average - not necessarily words, but a smile and a nod (not with a patronising air, I promise), a little acknowledgement of their existance in this crazy annoymous world of ours. I get the strangest looks back sometimes, I'm not sure that most people appreciate it.
I remember several occasions in my last job where I was serving a severly disabled customer (wheelchair, arms strapped down, little speech), I always made an effort to address them, but their 'carers' or pushers seemed to be quite unaware of my desire to make contact and would hurry me along.
Do I teach my children (unconcieved as yet ) to avoid looking at strangers, particuarly those in wheelchairs etc? Do I encourage them to smile and say hello? Or to walk on by as if they hadn't noticed (when they had) or somehow condition them to be completely unaware of disabled (differently abled?) persons by massive over exposure. Can they ask questions? Do people really want to discuss their medical details with complete strangers everywhere they go?
How do I explain to guide dog owners that I stop not because they are blind or a spectacle, but because of my admiration for their relationship with dogs, and dog owners I generally stop and speak with. That I understand not to disturb the dog whilst it is working without permission but that I'd love a stroke of their furry friend. Do people mind you wanting to talk to them when their mind is on what they are fetching for dinner, not how marvelous their companion is? Or indeed on their disability at all?
Maybe I should ignore them and just continue my donations to the Guide Dogs for the Blind charity without comment.
If I hold a door open for someone, do they think it is because I think them incapable, or because I just want to be helpful/polite and would do it for anyone. Do they think I avoid their eye because they have a large birthmark or can they understand that I find eye contact with anyone tricky?
It is a puzzlement.
Elsa.
Ps. Of course I should perhaps point out that I think I am generally anxious about all social interaction and this is not restricted to certain people. But it is difficult to know what the right response is, and what to teach our children. Is it perhaps enough that I care about the person as a person and what they think? Will my little faux pas be insignificant because of the genuine feeling behind them?