Just hold my hand for a minute and tell me I am being silly

[Babieseverywhere]

Second SALT appointment with different but equally nice therapist.

She sees DS and says he has ASD traits and mentioned high functioning ASD.

She is recommending that we are sent onto a local department which will be the diagnosis path with a multi agency SALT, Outreach person and Comm Paed.

She also suggested finding another school. When I said how good they are with this kind of thing and how they got a ASD unit opening at the school this year ...she said they were 'best placed' not necessarily best in this area.

Just feeling a bit down. :(

Blimey Meir Isn't 'Disguised compliance’ learned behaviour caused by a parents repeated exposure to incompetent professionals?

Just unsure what to do.

1. SALT has referred DS to social skills group.
Ok. Wait to hear.

2. Comm Paed has reluctantly refered to social panel for multi displinary asessment with expectation of failure.
Is it worth chasing up outreach person to see if I can give a history before they observe again ? But as very close to Senco/school probably get no where.

3. School is meant to have referred to Ed Psych
Headmaster mentioned they were trying but no date yet hmm
Think I might check DS' s referral doesn't get lost and ring and check that I can give background, the last person I spoke to in Ed Psych said they liked to talk to parents. But if the referral was lost or never sent I will be upsetting Senco again, which I don't want to do. But she still has not replied to my July emails yet....I am waiting another week or so, to give her time to catch up after school holidays.

4. No idea if LEA are assessing DS or not

They missed their deadline, which was last week. Unless they get extra time due to school holidays. What do I do, wait or chase ?

5. What to do about getting to school ?
Still having trouble getting DS to school. DH won't try another school, as he doubts it will help long term.

I am swinging between
'well, I can cope with no sleep due to his nightmares, made up stomach aches, small meltdowns over dressing and walking and occassional death or suicide verbal comment.....as DS is walking alright in the main.'
and
'It is only September and the start of the year. He was this anxious around March last year. Will things get worse, as he gets tired and the work gets harder'

Star- the 'worrying' disguised compliance is the Victoria Climbie/ Baby P type. Agree that non-abusive parents with dodgy services often need to do a bit: "Smile & nod at the caring carrots so they'll leave"

Babies, I would remind the LA you're waiting & ask when you can expect a decision by.

Otherwise they may just say you didn't chase it for so long, some hiccup arose, so they need to start over again with considering EHCP (nonsense but worth avoiding)

What's the big issue in upsetting the SENCO? When you've already tried the usual approach of being nice to her, and she's not been doing a better job...

1 . SALT has referred DS to social skills group.

Good. Sounds as if you have an ally in the SALT.

2. Comm Paed has reluctantly refered to social panel for multi displinary asessment with expectation of failure.

No harm in offering input. Will the SALT be involved – the one who’s on your side?

3. School is meant to have referred to Ed Psych

Upsetting the SENCO is not really a problem. She is not helping your DS. So do check that the referral has not been lost, and just be careful not to blame anyone at all if it hasn’t. Say “These things happen” and “I expect everyone is so busy” brightly while gritting your teeth and ask them when the referral will be made.

4. No idea if LEA are assessing DS or not

Chase, definitely. Never did any harm to be the squeaky wheel.

5. What to do about getting to school ?

Well apart from what DH thinks, do you think a different school would be better?

It is true that changing schools will not make your DS’s ASC go away – if that is what your DH really means by “it wont help long term”. But help in the short term is very important too, because we have all to live with the short term. And a helpful school that your DS feels happy to go to right now (if one exists!) would also be very good for his long term prospects.

Take things a bit at a time. You've made enormous strides already. Try not to worry about March, it’s a way off yet.

(oops - I meant don't blame anyone if the referral hasn't been sent)

I don't want to upset the Senco, as I still hope she might stop fighting against me and work in the right direction at some point. Plus we have two other children at the same school. Finally because I think she is acting out of ignorance not malice.

I think having two different schools will add to everyone stress levels and will cost money we don't have. Of course if it worked, it would be worth it but I do think if we move DS...his anxiety is likely to be the same at a new school.

I keep hopeing next week will be a good one iyswim.

The multi disiplinary assessment is with a senior SALT person..no idea who that is. But both SALT people we have seen, saw DS had social communication difficulties..so I am hopeful the next one will to.

I really hope we get an OT appointment, to help him with falling over and his sensory issues.

Should add the SALT suggested an OT referral would be an good idea.

The Comm Paed mentioned it as a possibility in passing but no idea if it is going to happen or not iyswim.