Thanks for your responses. Lack of patience is my weakest point and I am getting tested on this one. Honestly, some days I admit, I cannot believe that a child of such low IQ was born in our family 
WaveorCheer , zzzzz, sickof - Yes she has an iPad and she can use her finger to drag pictures, start apps etc. She knows which icon is what app, can do matching, sorting on the ipad.
However, this is where my frustration stems from. She can match red to red. Can match a red bear and a red monkey. Can sort by colour.. but, when you say red - she doesnt get it. I think I am skipping a few steps here. We are still at nouns levels. I suppose verbs and adjectives need to wait.
BUT, she can match shapes on ipad and 2D flash cards, but cannot match a triangle carboard to a triangle carboard... why why why.. aargh, its driving me nuts. I am sure I am missing a few steps here and Sean (our aba consultant) will be able to come up with some ideas.
Bilberry - you hit the nail on the head. She doesnt understand the "twoness of two". Do 'these' kids ever get it? How will she ever learn to add and do any math if she doesnt understand this concept?
star - She can choose. I however doubt she can choose between one ball vs two balls.. I think she will want all 3 balls.. because balls are reinfoircing and the more the merrier.
autumnsmum - Her joint attention has improved in the last year and so have her imitation skills.
This whole thing where everything has to be taught through Discreet errorless teaching trials is very frustrating. My head is spinning just wondering what to do from here on. I wish I could infuse some IQ into her
I was hoping to get her to put one thing on one dot and the second on second dot and then make her understand that this is "two". not so much language wise, more conceptually. But she keeps putting more 'things' on the flash card even when the dots are hidden(under the two things she already put on the card). I am not making any sense anymore, am I? 
SickOf - Songs are major stim material and she just zones out. She can say "ah", she can match an a to an a. You show her a and say 'ah', she will copy you, but you show her 'a' and expect her to say 'ah' she just doesnt do it.... DO it once sweetie, I will sing dance and heavily reinfornce you.. but do it once....:(
This is worse that toilet training.. With pee and poop you know it will come out at some stage.. the right response just doesnt come out..
SickOf - your idea of 'stop' is what we need to do I think. Errorless teaching. shaping the right response and then fading out the prompt.. Why did I not think of this?
zzzzz - Will look at the syllabus. thanks!
Don't assume she isn't learning just because she isn't demonstrating (bitter experience) - Golden words. However, I am honestly not one of those mums who are so much in sync with their child they know exactly what is going on inside them. How do I check if she is getting a concept or not. Unless she can demonstrate some understanding how do I go to the next level.. KWIM? Since you say you have experience of this, how did you deal with it?
absorbent minds stuff is pretty expensive. We did use some of it initially for shape sorting etc. Now I try and make or buy second hand on ebay
Ineedmorepatience - I was told 1 and 2 is easier than big and small... Will try big and small now... I thought putting two objects on top of two dots would be natural progression from matching. She can sort and match.
Trip to the pound store due
Thanks for indulging this impatient mum