Why are some people against special schools?

[adrianna22]

.....especially at a young age.

I was talking to a mum who has a child with ASD, and I was talking to her and then she began to say that when her DS was young "...he did not go to a special school, he has loads of friends now" etc. I was struck at the bit when she said about the special school, so I began to tell her that I want my four year old DS to go to a special school and her face was in disgust.

She was like "no way, he is too young, wait a bit his language will get better, special school is not needed, it's just a language- disorder delay he will get better" and I began to question her that is it "earlier to get the help as much as possible" but there was no way she would change her mind about special schools...then back to her DS she said that he was going to attend a special school when he starts high school and I just gave a (Hmmmm) look.

I don't know, is DS too young to go to a special school? Or maybe I should wait a bit as everyone is so against it.

Have N/C Re a DP in denial, I know they exist, I have one.
For years, mine assumed the louder he shouted at DD the better her co-ordination/speech/understanding/ability to explain would become. Also when he saw the first Paed report, he said they had only written what I had told them, so he still would not believe there was any need for extra help. To this day he will still criticise a lot of things she does which are down to disability, says she does not try and would succeed if she did. I just go and get a report that covers that particular thing, we have lots, OT Paed, Ed Psych, SALT etc. and I mark the relevant part, give it to him and ask him to read it aloud. And yet some parts of her condition he does appear to fully understand and is not only tolerant of those but is extremely helpful in looking for ways to help her. So his stance has moved from total denial to partial denial, but it makes our daily home life a lot more difficult than I think it should be. Sometimes I'm fighting the system and simultaneously fighting him, it's very demoralising.

If you have a fully supportive partner then please count your blessings, you are very lucky.

Lougle we also had to go underground to get to visit the SS ds eventually moved to. The LA would only have allowed us to visit SSs once the decision to change to a different provision was made!! Then we would have had a week or two during easter holidys to 'choose' a school! Just as well we had already done our homework and found that the nearest one was the best match.
I think our children are all different. The provisions are all different and we just have to fight for the best match in provision we possible can. I agree that the MS classroom with its reliance on verbal communication in the early years and all moving at the much the same speed is just not suitable for all children. Ds cannot read yet (he is 14) so would be quite lost in a mS secondary (he's pretty lost in an MLD/SLCASD secondary but that's another story - the former MLDs now trying to meet a much wider range and severity of needs whilst still using their old methods)
It was the LA and all its employees (teachers included) that were in denial, and their constant over optimism (he'll catch up when he starts nursery/school/changes to SS) was very damaging to ds future. we were actually told by the LA statementing lady that ds doesn't have a LD!! (he has SLD +ASD) - and later on that if he went to SS he would never get out of it ( well that is true - except they are demolishing the 6th forms within SS here)
Some children but not all can and do copy. Ds has learnt some choice swear words now he is in his teens! When younger his friend at SS used to make a distinctive sound (stimming noise). Ds was very fond of this lad (and the lad of him) so he too makes the noise- I think it was a sign of friendship!
And yes to having a peer group. At ms he was the 'naughty' boy who took the blame for almost everything, because he didn't have enough language or understanding. Now he is valued for his enthusiasm and kindness. I don't know what the future holds, but he will I fear always need support. This is the child the LA said had no LD at all!

It's shocking, isn't it? That's why I've pulled dd2 out. Her life it too precious to waste years waiting for the system to realise she has needs.

I think sometimes people are against special schools because they feel like they are writing off their child.
DS has spent 5 years in MS with full time 1:1. He has finally been given a place at an indie special school and even though its something i know is needed for him, i still feel guilty about him going there.
DS is only a year behind academically but the EP felt he is bright, however now he is going to a ss, they only offer a few GCSEs and mainly focus on vocational qualifications. I feel a bit like i am letting him down but when i really think it through, he probably wouldnt get any GCSEs in ms because he isn't able to access the curriculum due to his behaviour and acute sensory needs. I feel guilty about taking him away from his 'friends' and i feel guilty that he will have to travel an hour in a taxi to and from school.
I'm glad that he has spent this time in MS because now i know it definitely doesn't work rather than sending his straight to ss and wondering 'what if'. But then if he had gone to ss earlier i might not be left with all this guilt and doubt.

Fairgame - that was a big concern for DS1. We're quite fortunate to be in travelling distance of an Indie SS that does offer a full range of GCSEs and which offers individualised maths teaching - so a pupil with dyscalculia will be supported appropriately and one like DS1, who finds maths easy and actually rather fun can be taught to A-level, if appropriate. The best that could be offered in-area was a split SS-MS placement which would have simply given him twice the problems he already has. I know it does work for some kids, as one of the local SS got a child into Oxbridge, a few years ago, but DS1 needs more consistency than that.

I must catch up on the Edward Timpson webchat, as I know a few questions were asked about this.

Ouryve I know dd2 is only 4 but when a unit was suggested for her I knew it wasn't going to work , she needs consistency and dp and I felt that either a one to one in ms or a sp sch was needed a unit where she was being moved around constantly and didn't know where she was going to
Be from one day to the next would have been disastrous

Is it true that once your in a special school, you won't be able to go to mainstream?

Not at all Adrianna I know of two children who have moved from dds special school to mainstream

No its easier to move from ss to ms

You can move but I can imagine that unless there is a massive change in your child's condition you would be unlikely to risk moving them from a SS school if if hadn't worked out before, unless the SS was not working out. I'm sure the MS schools would probably try to put you off as well.

It's not impossible, adrianna, but it's not always desirable.

Our LA have documents online stating that, since few children move from SS to MS, it's better that children start off in MS . They even "rationalised" their SS provision on this basis. Of course, they're scrambling to put it back in place, now.