Mother of ASD child.

[LoveYouDarling]

Hello,

I am pretty new here, I was recommended this site by someone I know. I am not good with typing things up and also expressing myself. I have a son age 7 who has ASD he has no confidence what so ever it is really hard to get him out if the house so he misses school a lot, he prefers things just to be me and him.

He has recently been saying "I just want to die I don't like it here anymore" and to add he also suffers from sickle cell anemia, and I myself also suffer from depression and anxiety it has got to a stage where I feel as I am failing him, I just don't know what to do. I have kept in asking myself throughout the day why has this happened to my child.

On the odd chance when I do manage to persuade him to come out of a walk to the local park he just watches all the other children play, he doesn't have any friends his reason for not interacting with his peers is "I'm not good enough to be their friends"

I don't know how anyone on here can help me, maybe I just needed to write this and post it, as I don't have any friends in real life and I'm also not getting any support, my son does attend a specialist school but he dislikes going, and I always get the phone call telling me to go and get him, which is very unprofessional.

Hi

We've looked online I showed him some of the games consoles and asked him if he wanted one (I know I've been told just to get it for him, but he doesn't like surprises that's why I couldn't go out and get his birthday presents, he has to be with me, or on the off chance he accepts that I am going to get it for him)

He said he doesn't want one of them, and as opted for some Lego instead. He also said "something for you too"

I know it seems like I am ignoring your help, I'm not it's just that my child is different from yours and buying something for him that he hasn't asked for just isn't going to work.

Our kids are all unusual but in different ways. So for me, part of chatting her is just sharing some of the unusual-ness with other people who “get it” even though their kids are different from mine. I hope that’s OK for you loveyoudarling

I’ve done some funny things to get my DS to try things which he’s enjoyed later on. Like, my DS loved watching videos and he’d watch them over and over again but then he’d get bored, only he never wanted to try a new one. So I’d tell him “I got this video from the charity shop and I need to test if it works” and I’d put it on and sit in front of it. Gradually he’d creep in to peek and then he’d be hooked

I wonder - he wants you to get something for yourself (what a sweetie ), so if you got a console with a lego game “for yourself” and played with it while he was there, and then left it lying about, would he have a go? Or would all that be too scary for him? (Just a thought, I wont be offended the answer's “not a chance”)

PolterGoose
Kleinz If I got one for myself and played it near him, he wouldn't take any notice, he has never asked me for something after seeing someone else with it, he doesn't ask for things. He has said he doesn't want one so I am not going to get one for him, he is not good with a pen or pencil and he isn't good at holding heavier items without dropping them, give him a glass or cup for instance and he will drop it so, so I hold the glass or cup for him when he wants a drink.

The reason I think he has got OCD because he is forever washing his hands, she puts in gloves and gets a cloth and cleans up, also he won't use the bathroom without wearing gloves, I can't seem to get him out of this habit.

Thanks for all the suggestions!

*he puts on gloves and gets a cloth and cleans up

Sorry about the grammar mistakes I need to read through before posting

PolterGoose Thanks a lot, I first thought he was just taking after me as I do clean a lot out of boredom. But it does make both our lives difficult, he had to have two baths this evening and he wanted his bed sheets changed, which is twice today as he did have a lay down earlier.

You're really understanding with your DS. You're right, there's no point getting something he doesn't want / can't use. And it must be so hard for him.

Kleinzeit Thanks, it's very frustrating when people suggest I buy things for him, yes things are hard for him but hopefully they will get better.

Hi LoveYou as Polter said my ds has had severe OCD which started when he was about 8. He also has an ASD.

What you said about gloves, washing, changing sheets all sound very familiar.

What happens if you try to stop or distract him from doing these things?

Sorry I hadn't read the whole thread when I first posted.

OCD is essentially an anxiety disorder and of course you know that your ds is very anxious and probably depressed too.

As you are in London and SE too it shouldn't be too difficult to get a referral to the Maudsley. The Michael Rutter centre there is their young people's department and they have specialist clinics for both ASD and OCD.

I know you have said that your GP isn't helpful but if you could try to explain all of your son's difficulties he/she might realise how much is going on for him.

If you get nowhere do try another GP. I know it is daunting to have to start from the beginning again but a fresh pair of eyes may see just how bad things are.

NoHaudin I don't try and distract him I don't know how to, I think he uses gloves in the bathroom because I use gloves to clean in there.

I understand. In OCD it is very difficult to stop or distract someone from their activities because the compulsions are so strong. That is why I asked.

Hello

Really beside myself at the moment, DS has started head banging, he has been doing it for 3 days, I don't know why he is doing it and after he does it he asks to go to sleep, I haven't been letting him go off straight away as I'm worried he may be doing some damage to his head, I'm going to take him to the hospital tomorrow as my GP is rubbish.