Help - can't decide what to do

[KOKOagainandagain]

Please help me work out what to do I keep going round in circles and the 15 days is up on Wednesday.

DS2 can't stay where he is as they are using punishment to force compliance - eg not motivated to remain in seat but punished for leaving it - and it is damaging his mental health.

I hoped that the proposed would at least match what he had at SA+ but it doesn't. The school did an about face when I applied for SA and he now has a proposed for a child with ASD but no problems in school. Six months ago the position was no suspicion of ASD but severe problems in school.

So the original plan was to finalise and appeal for Indi placement.

This clashes with the timeline of my phd submission and I can't change this as I took leave for DS1s tribunal. I can't imagine doing both at the same time

Also we are moving house. The landlord wanted an extra £200 a month. DS1 boards but DS2 will need a new school from Sept.

Also there is my mum who is being discharged to DB's today and has the DST for NHS continuing healthcare on Thursday. They have a month before they declare someone is in eligible and then the family has to appeal. As bad as SEN.

What the hell do I do? I will post some more specific questions when DS2 has gone to school.

OK some questions for you:

• how much time is there before PhD submission? Would dragging out the negotiations with the LA, then finalising and appeal give you enough time?

-How does moving house tie in with the rest of the story -are you moving to be close to your proposed school? If not, have you looked at schools near your new home?

I'm sorry, it all sounds very stressful. ?

Sorry no magic wand to conjure you up more hours in a day.
Time delegate what you can!!
Do you have a dp who can take over the bulk if the SA stuff and the moving house?
And certainly let db do the bulk if things with regard to your Mum - if she is going to be at his home for a while then he probably needs to do it anyway

Thanks.

Submission date is 1st June 2015. Working backward - the thesis has to be completed two months before that for coping/binding etc (1st April) and the submitted version has to be the full final version that has been read and edited by supervisors so at least three months should be allowed for reading of the thesis and amendments, so I need a final complete version by 1st February at the latest - I'd prefer to have it done before the Xmas hols so I had a few weeks to let it sit. Main thing is that I need to live, breathe and obsess over this to my hearts content. But I should have some headspace between February and the viva in September to address SEN issues.

I have considered requesting a meeting with the LA but the IPSEA example letter seems to suggest that you have to or should name the school you want in part 4 of the statement when it is finalised. If I name indi they will not improve parts 2 and 3 and DS2 will have to start at the new local primary with a statement that is completely inadequate. With DS1 they refused to change a single word - they just say to me 'see you at tribunal'.

Also with the move (which will take place at the end of July) I would prefer DS2 to go to the m/s primary in the next village rather than the catchment primary. It is outstanding AND has higher than average numbers of SEN who are claimed to make rapid progress. The catchment school is OK. I haven't actually visited either yet as I am spending a lot of time up north due to the situation with my mum. But if I name indi then I assume he will end up in the catchment school pending hearing?

Also, also, also - can I name indi even though he has never visited and has not been offered a place.

Sorry - I should know this stuff but I can't think straight atm

I am trying to delegate to DH (a tad spectrummy when it comes to empathy) but to be honest if he had done DS1's tribunal, he would not be where he is. Say no more.

I am hoping to delegate mum to DB iykwim but mum has become 'challenging' since her admission that my brother hopes will disappear when she goes to his house. I am not so sure. Could be an absolute disaster and will be if the behaviour continues as she is a risk to self, others, property etc and will be sectioned. It feels a little like putting a nuclear bomb on the backburner.

Thanks again.

The move does not really impact on distance from the preferred school but is a little close to the edge at about 40 mins. We plan to move closer to the preferred school in summer 2015 and would have moved closer from our house now but the rent increase has been sprung on us and it would cost another £200 a month to renew the contract. We have no choice but to move now and also had to make sure that DS1's journey time was not significantly impacted (and that the property will take a dog).

Also (!) the LA have opened an HFA free school about 45-50 mins away (increasing to 1 hour 5 mins when we move). Could I name this school initially as a holding tactic and then name Indi when we moved? I have never visited the school but have spoken to the head on the phone who said it should be straightforward with a statement and that there would be a place from sept.

The LA caseworker did say that she would give me an extra week to respond as I am away from home so much atm. I originally refused as this would mean that the final statement would not be issued before the summer hols whereas it is due at the end of term atm. Should I now take them up on this offer?

I can't untangle all of this, but to name an independent school for Part 4 for a Tribunal, you must have an offer of a place from the school on the day of the hearing. Schools generally want to assess the child before they will offer a place. The Tribunal may also want to know your ds' views; they are the only people in the system who are genuinely interested in the child's view. They may order your LA to send one of their professionals to get his view. So it would be better if he had visited the school too, so that there is a chance he can say he wants to go there. The child's view is not the be all and end all, because they don't have the capacity to understand all their own needs and make an informed decision (especially if its a hidden disability).

IMO, its irrational to suggest he needs less now in a statement, than he did on SA - have his needs got better somehow? Unlikely, if its a long term condition? The point of statements for children in mainstream, is that the child is not progressing with what the school is providing and clearly needs resources beyond a mainstream school?

Whoa...quite a lot of factors which are all potential time bombs!

Working backwards:

-The HFA free school: I reckon the LA would say that the statement provisions currently listed (which you dispute) can be met at any local MS school, so if you name the HFA school they will expect you to meet transport costs/arrangements. There is, I think, some case law about a school being the only suitable school once it is named in Part 4, but I'm sketchy on the detail. Realistically, would you want your DS to travel over an hour each way?

-The Independent school - you can name any school you want, but I think you need to bear in mind that any school named has to be able to meet need and you'd be better asking them first before the LA make your DS seem an impossible child.

I've no idea about where he would go in the interim.

What is stopping you naming the outstanding primary from the outset?

By the time I named Indi ss on DS1s draft he had already done a trial and had a written offer. I may be confusing myself because I did this earlier than I needed to - for suggested amendments and initial naming when sent the proposed rather than in time for hearing. What about initial naming? Can I name it and then arrange to visit later? We are not talking about a great deal of choice here - there is nowhere else in county (apart from the free school).

Until I read the LA EP report I had planned to at least get equivalent support in the statement, negotiate a little, name the outstanding primary (might not be as good as made out but we are down to 'do no harm' atm).

Fingers crossed it may have been an ok place for him to be whilst I dealt with other stuff. His age is a worry. I think Indi is hard to win before age11 - record of failure plus natural transition point plus by now obvious anxiety

But he is being damaged atm and mental health is for life.

Trying to work my way there this!

Firstly the indie school - if you appeal with the indie school named on it, one of the first things Tribunal Services will do is send a form where you state that it's a firm place. Or the indie school states it's a firm place. Can't remember whether it's you or the school. But it is a form to say it's a firm place and in my DS's case, was sent a matter of weeks after the appeal was registered.

At this point I'm not seeing the relevance of the Indi - normally you'd have looked around all the state options, concluded that none meet need, therefore investigate Indi options, find one that suits which will take the child, then name it.

I think you need to (quickly) sort out those things. A bad Indi option is as bad as a bad Primary option.

That's OK TOWIE - I wouldn't be able to appeal the final statement until the autumn term anyway and could sit on it until the deadline. If I were going down that route atm I would want to delay as much as possible to time the run-up to hearing for after I had completed my thesis. Tribunal would probably not need confirmation for months.

Lougle - the main need that I am concerned that no m/s could meet relates to the environment. Even with 1:1 in a class of 30 he is highly distractible by noise, movement, light and his self-soothing is distracting to other DC. He wants to be able to work in the library all the time so that his teachers know that he is not naughty and don't tell him off all the time

There are only 2 schools in the county that can provide small classes and do HFA - the indi and now the free school. The LA did use to place in small indi m/s but not now that the free school has been built a couple of miles away no longer do this. The free school is in the grounds of an academy and DC at secondary level need to be able to leave the ss to attend m/s lessons in the academy in order to access the curriculum. So it may be suitable for primary but not secondary. DS2 is DME - 98th/99th percentile but is underachieving.

Lougle - would you mind talking to me more about naming the outstanding primary at the outset? This would make things a lot simpler - but I don't want to sacrifice DS2. If it went wrong - how would I go about getting him into the indi? Emergency review/AR appeal of parts 2, 3 and 4? Could buy me some time.

If I were to name the free school would they simply say that any m/s primary can meet need and we will see you in tribunal? I'm not prepared to go to tribunal for a statement that is not followed in the m/s or a free school that can't meet long-term need. But then it's put up with crap or go to tribunal - I know, it was ever thus .

Wow poor you, all sounds so tough.

Is the LA academy considered special school or MS?

If you feel he needs specialist setting, you need to argue no MS can meet needs - so if that's the case I would be wary of trying the Outstanding MS.

Do you have indie EP report yet?

Tbh, I'd leave the indie ss until year 5 and transition. If you name now, then you'll have the worry that either the Tribunal won't agree because of DS's age OR the LA will come after him in year 5 and try to get him out of indie.

I'd go for outstanding primary - although watch the "outstanding" label. My DS's previous school was outstanding but he ended up nearly having a nervous breakdown.

If outstanding went wrong, then you'd have options eg home school (not ideal now, I know, but after PhD, a possibility?). You'd also have a better chance of showing that you tried outstanding but it didn't work.

This is exactly what happened to my DS - failed at an outstanding school, then a year of home ed (year 4) and now into indie ss. As you know, I have feared my LA will attempt to remove at secondary transition (i.e. now). But LA EP said in front of witnesses at last week's AR that she's going to recommend he stays were he is. BUT I honestly think that's only because the LGO upheld my complaint and Essex don't want a pile more load of s**t coming their way from me. Without the complaint, I strongly suspect they would try to move DS now. The LA EP had most certainly been primed up by someone at the LA before meeting with me last week.

One advantage of naming outstanding primary is that it is 'better' than his existing school which is in a neighbouring LA and indicates extreme reasonableness and a willingness to try to make m/s work despite reservations. We are even prepared to relocate they don't need to know that we have no choice

I have contacted advocates for children to hopefully be involved in pre-finalisation negotiation as the case worker is very hostile to me. I am hopeful that they will be more likely to negotiate parts 2 and 3 if the know I am going to name m/s primary.

But I worry that this is the wrong decision for DS2 and I should be prioritising him (not finances or my mum or my phd).

I know what you mean about prioritising but the fact that the LA will might try to get him out at secondary transition would be a big issue for me.

IF he goes to outstanding m/s, if you moved him following secondary transition AR, then the new school would hopefully be able to pick up the pieces. A very strange thing to say, but a decent indie would be able to repair the emotional damage of the wrong school. They've done it for my DS and he's a different child to the one I gave them less than a year ago.

I haven't got Indi EP report yet but have no doubt that it would support Indi placement atm but I think that the school don't know how to motivate him. I have had great success with a TRS but the school are happy with punishment plus catch me being good stickers which only requires 'hover' support (ie none). A decent statement should allow sufficient direct support to use a TRS to teach pivotal skills necessary to learn.

He attempts to engage to begin with (fear of punishment) but needs to seek reassurance every 10 seconds or so because he is afraid of getting it wrong or not knowing what to do (more punishment). Then he just gives up and disengages. He stays in his seat now but stares blankly into space. School see this as significant improvement. They are not able to explain why an increase of 70% of time they now report that he is engaged and on task has had no effect whatsoever on his measured rate of progress over the last 4 years. He has always been recorded as average. Only effect of their efforts over the last academic year have been to damage mental health. The EP said he is now overly compliant and vulnerable . Last year he did not give a toss but now he has been made to care. Teachers don't realise that DC with an ASD are vulnerable not somehow immune.

I'm on my phone so I'll be brief:

You have the right to name any school of your preference. That's very clear.

The only 'get outs' for the LA are:

1.school can't meet need
2.the named school is not an efficient use of resources (money)
3.placement at the named school would prevent the efficient education of other children.

For the outstanding free school, 1 is their whole reason d'etre. 2 is covered because it's no more costly than any other Ms provision. 3. If they claim this due to his calming strategies, they leave themselves wide open to the notion that no Ms could meet need and you're heading for the independent school any way.

The only issue you may have is them saying that you must transport because they would have placed him at a nearer suitable school.

Yes, if it went horribly wrong you could either have emergency review or if it's 6 months since assessment, apply for SA again.

Thanks.

Don't want him travelling over an hour each way 5 days a week and don't want him there beyond year 7 when it becomes more of a unit than a ss. So, no to the free special school.

Outstanding primary it is then. Might be easier to get him out of here and into indi at transition if needs be than it would be to try and get him out of a free school he had attended for several years and that gave 'access' to the curriculum at secondary level.

Still need to delay though as I have not actually visited the school and am waiting to hear back from advocates for children. Has anyone used parent partnership to negotiate with LA? or are they the running dogs of the LA?

nothing really to add keep but good luck - its a lot of things to be trying to juggle and its so hard to be sure we are doing the right thing. you will always be able to call an emergency review if things don't go the way they should and if you name the outstanding school it also buys you time for secondary when hopefully you will be able to visit the indie school and get things sorted then.

im having my own headache trying to decide but I only have this one decision to make without all of the added pressure and stress you have going on at the moment - life does like to throw things at us all at once doesn't it !

Depends where you are with PP - in my area I wouldn't contact them. I have used Education equality and they were very good and reasonable prices.