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Original poster

School hoping Ds will disappear

63 replies

Skylar123 · 26/02/2014 16:00

Can I have some thoughts please.
I have recently applied for SA. Meeting with HT basically consisted of me being told to bog off we can't do anymore for you ( not in those words of course) but that was the jist of it. Followed by a good meeting with outside specialist who came up with a couple of more strategies for the school to use which seem great and have been implemented immediately. No cost to these ideas just a little bit of time. Also must add school have given support and Ds has 9 weekly support programs currently in place plus support for anxiety. Ds holds it together at school so no problems when actually in school with regards to behaviour, etc. The biggest problem right now is Ds school based anxiety, self esteem and low attainment.

When I spoke to ht yesterday she asked me about whether I would be moving Ds to another school (a question that keeps popping up recently) which I replied with 'no as then it just takes the issues from one sch to another and that I would like to fight for SA and see where that leads us and then think about school placements once he has his statement' (seriously high hopes I know)

Ht called me today and mentioned again about looking for another school for Ds. Also said I would not get a statement and as key stage 2 progresses it would be more difficult to get Ds to a new school so I should really do it sooner rather than later.

Why would the school be so keen to get rid of us? Without the statement they have no obligation to continue the support they are offering do they and if they think Ds will
never get a statement what are they worries about .

Can you give me some thoughts on what could be behind their thought process or is it simply a case of this child is costing us too much time and money lets get him out if we can.

OP posts:
NotAnotherPackedLunchBox · 26/02/2014 20:15

user It is rude and to gate crash a someone else's thread with a request for help with your coursework.
Bleating about how ispirational the mothers of disabled children is patronising and insensitive.

It would be best if you ask MNHQ to remove your post and start your own thread in the appropriate section.

MyCatIsFat · 26/02/2014 20:20

Look, the kid is 15 or 16 years old. If we do his/her's homework for them it will save everyone's time:

Ok, parents of disabled children need

  1. To be sure that their child is in an appropraite educational placemnet that can support the child within school

  2. To be able to have respite care (i.e. time when someone else is looking after the child)

  3. To have the right equipment to be able to look after the child 9i.e. hoists, wheelchairs etc)

  4. To have access to those HCP (health care professionals) that the child needs to see

  5. To have Disability Living Allowance - a tyoe of benefit that is paid to meet the additional costs of having a disabled child.

Do you want any more 'needs' username1234 or are those 5 enough?

Good luck with the GCSE

username1234 · 26/02/2014 20:32

NotAnotherPackedLunchBox - How am I rude? If anything I'm trying to be nice, I'm sure you had coursework to do when you were at school and it's not my fault that my teacher told me to use this website to ask mothers of disabled children some questions as it will help me get a better grade. Not being funny but I'm new to this website so how am I to know what I am meant to do? Jesus Christ I only came here to find out some information. Secondly how am I insensitive? I have a disabled brother myself so I understand how it actually feels.. yes I am only 16 years old, but if anything that makes it even harder for me. So actually before you start accusing me of being rude you should maybe think about the situation others may be in. I can't believe I come on this website because my teacher was sent it by the exam board and I just get abusive messages. This is my work, would you rather me fail my gcse's and be one of those people claiming benefits and other peoples taxes. I may only be 16 but you're older which surely means more wiser..but clearly not. this has honestly shocked me. When I'm older and I'm working with disabled children I would never tolerate parents talking to me in such a manner.

MyCatIsFat - Thank you it means a lot, clearly someone cares!

PolterGoose · 26/02/2014 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyCatIsFat · 26/02/2014 20:43

Oh Polter - Grin

If we leave it alone it might just go away Grin

username1234 - Please let me know what grade my coursework got Grin. Thank you Grin

PolterGoose · 26/02/2014 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

username1234 · 26/02/2014 20:49

I am here to offer support, it's hardly help when all you had to do was to name some needs which you have? I'm hardly being rude since this leaflet will be published to provide people like you with help. So before you start accusing me of being 'rude' and 'insensitive' maybe be more grateful.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 26/02/2014 20:51

Good luck with your GCSEs.

Perhaps consider being a Statementing Officer!?

MyCatIsFat · 26/02/2014 20:55

He/she has all the qualifications required Grin

PolterGoose · 26/02/2014 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

username1234 · 26/02/2014 20:57

StarlightMcKingsThree: Yeah I could do, I was thinking more along the lines of a teacher in a disabled school. Any way I better not chat on here or I'll just be accused of being rude and insensitive, when I've been told to do this by the exam board. so yeah- thanks for the advice:)

NotAnotherPackedLunchBox · 26/02/2014 20:58

Poulter Grin

MyCatIsFat · 26/02/2014 20:59

You do realise that there will be a new thread on Site Stuff saying what a bunch of unhelpful, sarky cows we are - don't you?

username1234 · 26/02/2014 20:59

Poulter- If anything you're now the one being rude, you're an adult...really mature you are

StarlightMcKingsThree · 26/02/2014 21:00

She's not an adult.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 26/02/2014 21:00

She's a goose.

username1234 · 26/02/2014 21:00

she's older than I am clearly.

Original poster
Skylar123 · 26/02/2014 21:01

user it would be better if you start your own thread just click start a new thread or click on the link provided above by PolterGoose.
MN is a great sight and it was a good recommendation by your teacher.

Ok I am trying to be careful not to get the schools back up.

HT even actually sugested a name of another school and commented that it had places. HT also kept saying that it is not a suggestion that I move schools, although of course it was and he knew it thats why he kept saying it wasnt.

Let me tell you how this began...last June I did almost move Ds out of the school we were very close and they knew it i had actually got the place for ds through county so it was only a matter of starting. I was unsure as ds struggles and i felt that it would be very hard for him to re-start somewhere else and all i wanted was for ds to get support. I told them this. suddenly the support started flooding in, sch took notice of indi pychs recommendations and all looked to be much better plus county had writen to them to see what services they required to help ds.

The mention of a new school was never talked about again until now by HT yesterday and today. It started with 'so, are you still wanting to look for a new school for ds?'

Today on the phone HT said he had been thinking about ds and that it would be better to find a new school now rather than later.I had said to HT yesterday that i would wait and see what happens with SA and he said that ds will not get a statement so if i was presuming he would get a new school that way he will not. I shouldnt waste time. So quite cleverly worded but it was very obvious what he was saying.

However the club thing was pretty clear cut.

I could easilt fall out with school but wouldnt it be better to stay on side for now.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 26/02/2014 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyCatIsFat · 26/02/2014 21:02

she's older than I am clearly

Of course she is - she has kids. You are 15 or 16.

Netmums is a really helpful site if you need more help with your GCSE.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 26/02/2014 21:06

If you fall out with school just for clarifying professional opinion or asking reasonable questions in order to make sure you understood things then really it isn't a school worth being friends.

You must not fail your child for the sake of your own relationship and comfort iyswim. If a school want to fall out with you for doing right by your child then that is their call.

MyCatIsFat · 26/02/2014 21:07

I would play it 'dumb' and send an email saying

Thank you for your suggestion that I find another school for however I think it would be better to wait until the Statement process is complete before making any decisions about a possible change of school.

and as Polter said

"thanks for the chat today, can you just confirm that ds is unable to attend library club due to there not being sufficient support, regards etc"

What you need to be doing now is laying down that evidence trail that you will need if you end up at SEND. You also need to do it to record it for diary purposes.

username1234 · 26/02/2014 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 26/02/2014 21:09

Yes. These notes are not for the recipient, but for a tribunal judge or for leverage in order to avoid ever getting near a tribunal judge.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 26/02/2014 21:11

I think you'd make it to head of Autism Advisory Service actually.....