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Original poster

Schools letter supporting statement request

86 replies

Skylar123 · 07/02/2014 17:18

I am applying for SA for my Ds , I asked the school to write me a supporting letter to add to my initial application as they offered to apply on my behalf when I told them I was doing it.
I have got the letter today and it makes no mention of Ds's difficulties at school, it mentions lots about his difficulties I have discussed with them at home and parts of the paeds report that we got before Ds dx. There is nothing about his academic struggles or his poor social functioning or his communication difficulties.
Surely if the letter is to support a statement request for special educational needs the content of this letter won't help.
The letter ends with we think that Ds's behaviour at home may extend to school. That's it.
Ds has not done a full day at school for over a week consequetively and has been late several times a week since November his attendance has gone from 97% to 81% and still falling. He is not going to sch because he is anxious and stressed about it.
Shall I just not bother sending this letter I can't see how it will help.

OP posts:
wetaugust · 09/02/2014 23:41

^ See - I told you I had a nasty reputation Grin

Original poster
Skylar123 · 09/02/2014 23:51

Not nasty just firm, nowt wrong with that!
gold don't be sorry honestly it's fine. You make a good point.

My Ds has transition difficulties which I think make it worse for him. He really struggles going from one thing to another.

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 09/02/2014 23:52

Wet - no one thinks that.

I could quite often do with a virtual slap so please feel free next time I'm in a defeatist mood ( this week I have parents evening, meeting with specialist lea teachers and senco, ed psych assessing ds for this time and finished off with portage for baby on Friday.

If im not on knees after this week I can withstand anything.

2boysnamedR · 09/02/2014 23:54

But on the other hand if you never hear from me again I have drawn out the life savings and I will be making a break for Canada..... Without the kids.....

wetaugust · 10/02/2014 00:00

Sounds like a good idea to me 2boys.

At the height of my own battles (almost a decade ago now) I took off to Paris own my own for a long weekend with the possibility of never coming back.

I took 'The Curious Incident..' with me to read and that book made me realise that I had to come back and sort this mess out. I can remember having a long conversation with DS's Cons Psychiatrist while I was on the cross-channel ferry Grin

Strange, the things you remember Grin

StarlightMcKingsThree · 10/02/2014 07:37

I remember when Ds was 3 years old having Him peeled off of me at Opportunity Class. I was to stay in main room and he was to go into sensory room for singing.

He had a target 'be able to separate from mother'.

His target really should have been 'desensitise gripping fear of the bubble tube'.

After 2 sessions I refused to engage with the process and put in writing that I have never had any issues with him separating from me in any other circumstances and unless the allowed me to a) accompany him and b) paces to the sensory room outside of these times Ds would not be going.

I did that kind of thing a lot. I got a reputation for being a difficult mother. I had a SS referral for 'regularly disagreeing with professionals'. My Ds' mental health is currently good. Mine, not so.

Goldmandra · 10/02/2014 07:56

I am expecting that to happen to me any day now.

I've regularly told CAMHS when I don't think they're getting it right. I had a psych in tears because I questioned her professional judgement on a dx report and I've just stopped a course of CBT 2 appointments in by writing a letter saying it's being delivered incorrectly, in the wrong place, by the wrong person.

They really don't like me at the moment, just like the LA, but my DDs are making fantastic progress so I don't give two hoots.

wetaugust · 10/02/2014 18:57

They don't like 'empowered' parents, full stop.

They prefer parents who look at them in awe of their wonderous professional knowledge Grin

Unfortunately I didn't rate any of them. All useless.

Original poster
Skylar123 · 10/02/2014 20:37

They are all a bit useless ! It's like they want to keep quiet and not divulge much. Ds indi pyschologists are the only ones that seem to acknowledge things as yet. Gp is also in no doubt. he got the third degree on lung cancer earlier after Ds had taken quite an interest in one of the leaflets in his office.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 10/02/2014 21:37

he got the third degree on lung cancer earlier after Ds had taken quite an interest in one of the leaflets in his office.

Grin Grin Grin Grin

wetaugust · 10/02/2014 22:07

must tell you what happened after I had picked DS up from his Uni one day. It was the day he completed his Finals (Bioscience)and I had to stop at Boots to collect a prescription.

There's a big sign on the counter where you pick up the prescriptions 'Do you have any questions about cancer. If so, ask your pharmacist?'

DS waits until the pharmacist comes over with the prescription then he whips the exam paper that he had just sat out of his pocket, stuck it in front of the pharmacist and asked him'So what do you think the answer is to this question on cancer?'

I just about died Grin

DS thought it quite acceptable as they had invited questions Grin

And to make it worse DS only looked like he was aged 12, which made the pharmacist doubly Confused

Original poster
Skylar123 · 10/02/2014 22:14

That's great ...I love it Grin wet

Ds took his cancer quest to the newsagents too after the doctors and asked the lady behind the counter why she was selling smoking stuff that gave people lung cancer! She wasn't expecting that one on a Monday morning.

Lol don't you just love'em

OP posts:
wetaugust · 10/02/2014 22:39

Oh it's a laugh a minute. Grin

Original poster
Skylar123 · 10/02/2014 22:51

I sense sarcasm Grin Grin Grin

I got my application of today as promised!

Thanks

OP posts:
wetaugust · 10/02/2014 23:10

No, it genuinely is a laugh a minute. It's one of the few compensations of having a DS with the condition. Grin

Application in - countdown begins Grin

Original poster
Skylar123 · 11/02/2014 07:47

Yes it is your right. X
Ds sch are really annoyed at me for contacting EWO.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKingsThree · 11/02/2014 08:32

What possible reason could a school be cross with a parent contacting the EWO? Confused

It's like ds' escort got taken off of ds' run, and told me that the taxi office had told her there was nothing they could do as it was the LA's decision, but then refused to give her the LA persons contact details.

I gave them to her and she got herself back on ds' run. Then the taxi company got cross with her and docked her wages. Angry

Goldmandra · 11/02/2014 10:26

Ds sch are really annoyed at me for contacting EWO.

Is this because some school contract in EWO time so they get to decide which pupils the EWO supports or because they were going to use the EWO as a threat?

My DD2's head teacher was livid when I contacted the EWO but that was because the EWO backed me up and suggested I got a letter from the GP detailing DD's anxiety to legitimise her absence.

I think the head had been planning to use the EWO to threaten me and making contact myself spiked her guns.

Original poster
Skylar123 · 11/02/2014 18:52

I have no idea why. I asked to make an appointment with head to discuss Ds , they said well haven't you already spoken with senco. I said well I have been adviced by EWO person to do so. EWO person told me to say this.they said oh have you now, that's interesting. Why did you call her? Who did you speak to, what exactly did she say? Very cold and abrupt.
Still Ds not at school missing whole days now. Wtf am I gong to do ?

OP posts:
wetaugust · 11/02/2014 18:57

I would expect Head was livid as, until now, school have managed to keep your child's attendance difficulties 'under wraps'. By contacting the EWO you've involved LA officers. School will now have difficulty fudging attendance records if that had been what they were planning. The EWO may also start asking school difficult questions re support etc.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 11/02/2014 18:57

The logical answer to why? Is:

'Because I'm worried about his educational welfare, aren't you?'

Original poster
Skylar123 · 11/02/2014 19:34

Well his absence sheet as far as I can see shows his attendance drop. All unauthorised although I have called in the majority of times.
His class are going out of school on a short outing tomorrow he wants to go in - he is very familiar with where they are going and he wants to go, good sign , fingers crossed.
Will his not going to school problem help us to get him help?
Could it help with statutory assessment. Or do some dc's wade through un supported to their needs for a very long time.

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 11/02/2014 19:59

Will his not going to school problem help us to get him help?

Yes. Record it and use it in your parents' contribution. Make it clear that the school is denying your child access to the curriculum by not making the adjustments he needs to make it possible for him to attend school. Also point out that when he is in school his anxiety must be managed well enough for him to be in a fit state to learn.

Google Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs to demonstrate this.

It was a big lever for us with both DDs.

Original poster
Skylar123 · 11/02/2014 20:09

Thanks gold bookmarked for bedtime reading

OP posts:
claw2 · 11/02/2014 22:14

I wrote to school basically listing ds's needs and asking how they were going to meet his needs.

They offered alternatives to what professionals had recommended, which was as good as saying they couldn't meet his needs.

Maybe you could reply to their letter, asking them the same questions, if you are sure of what the answer will be?