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Original poster

2boys - appeal dropped by lea!!!!

28 replies

2boysnamedR · 14/01/2014 17:36

I am in tears here. Sent off ds latest pead, ot and private salt report and attendance form last week for yesterday's deadline refusal to assess.

The lea have dropped my tribunal. He is being assessed. So happy yet so crushed. Absolute confirmation ds is defiantly not a normal little boy.

It's just the first step I know, such a hard road ahead yet.

But I love you girls. This is 100% down to the help you give to everyone here every day.

OP posts:
osospecial · 14/01/2014 18:04

Well done 2boys! really pleased for you Grin

moldingsunbeams · 14/01/2014 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
2boysnamedR · 14/01/2014 18:07

Thanks, I am so shocked, think I have done some permanent damage to my heart after I read the email.

Just goes to show, I was told he would never get a dx or a statement. He has a dx and getting closer to a statement.

Never believe in never!

OP posts:
uggerthebugger · 14/01/2014 18:13

Awesome work, 2boys ... so pleased for you!

TOWIE2014 · 14/01/2014 18:14

Well done you!!

Although it's really really tough to realise that you DC is as serious as you thought and now others have agreed with that too. He's still your little boy tho - nothing will ever change that.

OddFodd · 14/01/2014 18:16

Wow - that's amazing. Your little boy is very lucky to have you. You're an inspiration :)

AliceinWinterWonderland · 14/01/2014 18:26

Well done. It's always a shock to have it confirmed in any way that yes, there are some developmental issues, but once you get your head around it, you realise HE hasn't changed, just your perception of his behaviour has.

Ineedmorepatience · 14/01/2014 18:31

Brilliant news about the tribunal 2boys and sorry that you are struggling.

Be kind to yourself and as others have said remember he is still your little lovely Smile

Good luck and keep your fingers crossed for me Smile

PolterGoose · 14/01/2014 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
2boysnamedR · 14/01/2014 18:46

It's hard to believe you can ever win these things. People tel you one thing, your head says the operative and you don't know what to think.

I had the senco tell me before Christmas that the lea told her I had better have a good solicitor - then my private salt tell me it is impossibly hard, emotionally damaging and expense to fight for a statement.

Yes it has been stressful and painful ( very!) but what did it cost me? Time to post reports, gather my thoughts and take some verbal kick in the guts. So really it cost me ... Nothing. I had lost, I would have lost nothing.

The real pain has been in all based in reality. My son has complex learning difficulties. That's what's hurts. People ignoring me hurts, being told 'oh it bad - but not bad enough to warrant help'. Those things hurt. But this small victory was won anyway.

If anyone has a shadow of doubt their child needs assessment - go for it. I don't know why they backed down - maybe they just realised I was going to attend and knew they would loose from the start.

I know there is more ahead but I feel confident to keep on fighting this to the end.

I hope I can pay back this boards help and share what I'm still learning as I go.

Honk honk!

OP posts:
Skylar123 · 14/01/2014 18:57

Well done so pleased for you Smile

Handywoman · 14/01/2014 18:59

oh wow 2boys that's fabulous news, congrats, be kind to yourself

honk honk honk!

lougle · 14/01/2014 19:35

How wonderful, 2boys! Congratulations.

AgnesDiPesto · 14/01/2014 20:56

Well done!
They backed down because they refused it as standard protocol, knowing thats a quick way to cut their workload and safeguard their budget as a significant % of parents will give up at that point.
It had nothing to do with your child's needs. It is just standard practice sadly.
The way it was described to me is there are 10 parents asking for a statement and the LA puts 10 hurdles in place. Most likely one parent will drop out at each hurdle and perhaps only one very determined parent will make it to the end and clear all 10.
It feels personal but it really isn't. Its just percentages.

popgoestheweezel · 14/01/2014 20:58

Honking and flapping for you 2boys, what great news!

StarlightMcKingsThree · 14/01/2014 21:09

Oh 2boys, I'm both delighted and angry for you.

I'm delighted we were all right and that the fight and stress was worth it, but so fecking angry that they made you do that.

It isn't easy what you have done. It really isn't. You should be extremely proud of yourself. And I hope too that it has given you confidence in yourself for the next steps.

But ffs, doing this to parents is barbaric and should be stopped.

StarlightMcKingsThree · 14/01/2014 21:13

You know what though. Your ds IS as serious as you thought but he also isn't.

When people read my ds' statement they think he is much more severe than he is. Not because it isn't accurate. It is. But because children with his profile rarely get so much specified and quantified provision, despite needing it.

SO, whilst your ds needing a statement might mean his difficulties are big, there are many children who have been refused, with difficulties equal or greater. Don't look at this as some kind of benchmark for severity. It really doesn't work that way.

Original poster
2boysnamedR · 14/01/2014 22:16

I guess every victory is bitter sweet. I know there are kids in ds class who are much worse than him, but for what ever reason are on no ones radar.

It's sad but I can't help them, I can only help ds. Still it makes me mad so many kids get nothing at all.

What will the school say about this turn of events? I'm a benchmark now. First parent to ask for tribunal plus first to have it dropped!

OP posts:
Original poster
2boysnamedR · 14/01/2014 22:18

I was picking out my ed psych this morning - a task for another day now ;0)

I am sure it's all good or the statement tribunal - yes im ready for that too lol!

OP posts:
StarlightMcKingsThree · 14/01/2014 22:36

'It's sad but I can't help them'

You have to keep this in mind. It is really important. Your ds is not getting anything he isn't entitled to and he isn't taking away support from those other children.

If they aren't getting support, it is for those paid to do so, to raise it and address that. If they don't, this is not YOUR failure.

Where and when you can point a fellow parent in a helpful direction if and when they notice you, then it is right to do so. But fighting their battles when your own battle is underway is not a reasonable thing to expect of yourself.

pannetone · 14/01/2014 23:03

So pleased to hear your news 2boys. Gives some hope to those of us who are a stage behind you.... we are at the refusal to assess stage and the road ahead often seems daunting and insurmountable....

ouryve · 14/01/2014 23:37

Yes! I'd do a happy dance, but you really don't want to see that :) Wine

Original poster
2boysnamedR · 14/01/2014 23:48

Panne tone - I felt like that in December. The head of special needs at the lea knows my case (I have made myself a pita). I was told more or less I had no chance by some one in the lea. They left everything to the wire with me and yet still we didn't even get to tribunal. After I had such a firm 'no chance ' from 360 degrees.

Just take every step in turn or you go mad.

Lodge appeal, gather your reports. Look for independent people where you don't agree with the state reports and just firmly believe in your ability to know your child better than anyone.

I got it into my head I was going to do this whatever the final decision. Once you realise you have nothing to loose it becomes easier. Anything I can help with then let me know

OP posts:
StarlightMcKingsThree · 15/01/2014 00:04

Yep. I remember your panic about having to have a good solicitor.

That was a threat either from the SENCO or she was the messenger. If you can afford one it is nice to have them act as a buffer, but totally unnecessary at this stage, and possibly the rest.

Ahhhcantthinkofagoodname · 15/01/2014 06:47

Well done, great news, have followed your story...