Not looking forward to school restarting

[Perchkin]

It's actually making me quite anxious and giving me sleepless nights :(.

Thinking of all of you who are feeling the same about your DC going back to school after the Christmas break.

Fingers crossed it all turns out better than we imagine x

No respite, OneinEight. We're not confident that it wouldn't cause more problems than it solves.

Ouryve, I know the feeling we had a shit first day back at school, with ds refusing to get dressed, saying 'its all too much' with reference to school, tearful and withdrawn too. Wasn't helped by taxi being 40 minutes late, with a change of driver and escort which I wasn't told about and ds refusing to get in taxi.

Today same thing and 'I hate my life because of school' and threats of killing himself.

Ds not sleeping and restricting his diet at home and refusing to eat or drink completely in school. Telling me he is feeling sad and wanting to cry all day at school.

Respite what a crock of shit, blame the parents its easier.

DS went in this morning - well I drove him and his friend in. I was a bit surprised he made it in TBH - he is still complaining that a whole day is 'too much' and not being allowed to come home part way through the day has stopped him being in at all for the past 2 days.

You've given me quite a bit to consider - as have the events of this week! It is all getting quite muddled up in my mind though. It is the question of allowing my anxious DS some control, without allowing him to 'dictate' or avoid stressful situations (school!) completely.

Not sure where I've got to with the school - they seem to have a rather 'fixed' range of support options which they are expecting DS to 'fit in' with. ATM there is too much emphasis on requiring DS to go to them and explain what he finds difficult, but although articulate in many situations, DS doesn't 'do' feelings. I think he needs the sort of work claw is trying to get for her DS, for example, rating anxiety.

The medication question is an interesting one too _ I suppose it would be true to say that DS2 ended up with medication mostly because of the failure of his school to meet his needs - ultimately we won a discrimination case against them for a failure to make reasonable adjustments. I don't want DS3 medicated to make up for a shortfall in SEN support. He does have a lot of out-of-school anxiety too though.

OneInEight DS isn't currently having help from anyone outside school - he is in theory still under CAMHS having refused to go to any more CBT sessions after having 10 or so up til June last year. I rang them to try and get some othe input but no phone call back yet...DS hasn't been seen by an EP. SENCO told me they will talk about support for DS with the autism outreach teacher when he comes in at some point this term!

DD is off school again. Some of it is definitely anxiety but she claims she has a stomach bug and I am going with that today.

Pannetonne - I think the difficulty tends to be with school refusal, that everyone gets into a bit of rut and the blame game tends to start, rather than looking for a way forward. If you are of the opinion that your ds is refusing school due to his needs not being met.

1. You could request that an EP assess your ds in school. Given that your ds is obviously finding some aspects of the school day very stressful (whether he can express it or not) and refusing school. This would be a sensible option for school.

1. You could ask if the school has the services of ASD Advisory, most schools do. They can go into school and observe and give strategies.

1. You could apply for a Statutory assessment of your ds's needs.

1. You can make suggestions of strategies that school could make which you think might work.

Sorry just seen that SENCO has suggested ASD Advisory, find out contact details and contact yourself explaining the situation.

In previous school I did this, after school told me they couldn't make a referral, total rubbish, they could and ASD Advisory teacher went in within a week after my phone call.