I have in my hand a piece of paper...

[inappropriatelyemployed]

Ok, I don't want to rejoice as I feel brutalised but I have an amended statement in my hand with an out of school package on it for DS.

SEVEN months after he left school.

They say they have agreed direct payments too - well we'll see.

But thank you all. Thank you Wet and Agnes and Star and Towie and Senmerrygoround and so many others who have been kind enough to support me - always. I am so sorry if I've missed your name out - I am full of cold.

You are special, special people.

Oh yes. I know. Goodness knows when we'll get any kind of statement, amended or not (doubt it will be as only parents requested any changes, though no cost required, and the school didn't send it to them).

Always suspected they'd delay updating statement anyway until SEpt.

wet
There was one boy in my year at primary who with hindsight probably had HFS or AS.
He disappeared at transition. Don't know where to. I was just relieved not to be sat next to him anymore...

The middle school I went to was next to a "naughty boys" boarding school... I visited (HT's daughter was a friend) and, again with hindsight the boys mostly had ADD or AS.

This was late '60s / early 70s

But to be fair there HAVE been lots of positives. They're good at what they want to be. They just don't want to be good at some of the other things Ds needs.

Could you flexi?

Bit drastic Star but have every confidence in your decision. Part of me thinks the perfect proviision doesn't exist and the other half thinks 'why not keep looking for it'. It's just hard to read this knowing the big personal scrifice you made to get him into this provision. But I suppose it's the LA rather than any specific placemnet that you've gained that's made it worthwhile.

The one expulsion we did have - the girl went to the secondary modern school (that was where people who didn't pass the 11+ tended to go to).

In those days they put up with a lot less crap full stop. Parents were much more dictatorial - mine very bloody Victorian. I sometimes wonder what the effect of strict parents coupled with strict school actually had on some of the Aspies of my time. It certainly set their boundaries very early on and it's the lack of explicit boundaries that can cause anxiety in some with AS.

But as some of you have pointed out - you can get equally asanxious worrying about transgressing those boundaries. I was just anxious non-stop and escaped at the earlliest opportunity from home and school.

I know it seems drastic, but I suppose I just think that given the sacrifices we have made, things ought to be better. Some might say there's simply no pleasing me. They'd be right. I could never be pleased by the way the system is being played, on all sides. But I'm a veteran now and I'm unafraid and Ds WILL learn what he needs to learn to succeed.

In truth we knew Ds couldn't stay there forever, but if you think provision and choice is bad for Juniors, it's practically non-existent for infants. I think the time to move on came a year or two faster than I expected, perhaps even thanks to what his current school DID achieve for Ds over the last 2 years. And Schools like the one I linked to are starting to pop up now opened by parents under the new free school thing. They just weren't a part of the equation before. I'm considering it for it's 2.5 days of BCBA per week per class. There is simply more choice now.

"Suicidal thoughts are not a symptom of ASD but a symptom of helplessness and/or mental health disorders"

So true Star and IE put it so well the other day, my ds doesn't have a mental health disorder, school is the cause of his mental health difficulties. He has suicidal thoughts not because he wants to die, but because he wants to get away from his difficulties.

My ds is also somewhere in the middle of IE's ds who gets very anxious about getting things wrong and being reprimanded, his biggest fears and Wet's ds, he likes rules and gets very upset and anxious if others don't follow them.

He is very academic (or could be). SS isn't the place for ds, MS isn't either. Im really hoping his small indi school will be. Have you tried small MS indi or given it any thought?

Ms Indi is out for two reasons. 1) he is too far behind academically, 2) we can't afford it.

All this is not a disaster. We're all safe and happy. I'd love to have Ds at home for a bit to demonstrate his ability before a new placement. It's because I'd like him back in school by Sept that I am keen to pull him out ASAP. We have a lot of work to do to get him onto NC levels.

Sounds as though you have a viable plan Star. Hope it goes well.

Wouldn't LA pay for a indi placement? Is it your ds is underachieving or is it he has yet to learn x,y,z? Does that make sense? I hope you know what I am trying to say.

Sorry I haven't explained that well at all! with ds he has been taught x,y,z, he understand x,y,z he just doesn't demonstrate that he knows or his difficulties get in the way. Is your ds similar or is it that he is just not being taught x,y,z?

It's both Claw. For example He can count down backwards in 7s into minus figures but if you asked him what he had to do to get the next number he wouldn't be able to explain it. 'Working it out' and 'demonstrating how' needs training and practice.

Additionally, the school eventually admitted that a possible reason he is only achieving p levels in non-core subjects is because of lack of exposure I.e he gets p4 because they teach at p4. They started saying it was all he was capable of but changed their story when I produced evidence. However they have no plans to teach at a higher level because they don't feel it is as important as the therapy. They laughed when I suggested they did as if I was a clueless parent in denial.

So, as always, I need to do it myself, demonstrate capability, boost skills and then look for the next step.

Isn't that what we all do anyway?

So I guess I mean his levels are accurate for what he demonstrates. But he could demonstrate more if taught how to, and if he was taught at a higher level as both are within his capability.

I know how to produce evidence of both but need to be given the time to do this which won't happen with him away from home from 7:30am until 4:15 each day iyswim.

I'm pondering, so I'm not really giving this as an assertion, but do you think the separate classes for every subject (and therefore a grade for every subject) is clouding issues a bit?

I mean that most MS children (barring perhaps indie kids) would not be taught separately for each subject. They get core attainment grades - Speaking and Listening, English, Maths, Science.

Is he being expected to deal with too many discrete subjects rather than consolidating and building on his knowledge in core subjects, using non-core themes as appropriate?

How are they teaching him maths, for example? Are they using practical methods to teach and assess his knowledge? He should be able to demonstrate his knowledge without having to articulate it and still make the grade. DD1 couldn't accurately tell you the process to work out 7-3, for example, but if she was given 7 sweets and asked how many would be left if they take 3 away, she could see and say that there were 4 left.

New blog page here

Let me know if you want to change anything! Or think I should add anything

I dunno Lougle but in the words of Rizzo from Grease, he needs to get his kicks whilst he's still young enough to get em. Can't sit around waiting for his education to come.

Great page. Has MNHQ asked you to be blogger of the week yet (or whatever it is they do)?

No chance of that I think! Thanks Star.

Why? Are they also sponsored by the government?

Just spoke to parent partnership. Nice lady. Very informed. Gave all the illusion of being impartial. Insisted I only use her advice to help explore options. Gave some sensible warnings of pitfalls.

Who knew there were PPers like that?

Don't let her lull you into a false sense of security Star. She'll whip her hat off to reveal full-scale technicolour carrot head!

I hope not.

You know how to collect the evidence via HE but how can you proof that evidence independantly - another Ed Psych visit at the start to baseline it and another at the end to provide that independant assessment?

Ooooh!

I've been quoted in IE's blog.

I've been published - just like Jane Austen and there the similarity ends.

Off to Asda!

Yes. EP booked for new year. The issue there is to where EP should assess, home or school.

PP suggested no written request for HE when asking for Search for new placement, though verbally express as possibility. That makes sense to me.

I'd go like for likeso the 2nd assessment will have to be at home, so the first may as well be too - familar place etc.

It's mad that people have to go through this.

Yes, but a visit in a school context will build evidence for future placement.

Honestly Wet, it's all fine. I have stuff to figure out, but I have the knowledge to do it and don't give a shit about 'relationships' or have any belief that we'll be supported in what we need to do. An EP booking was on the cards anyway. Dh and I figured we had to factor into our budget one every couple of years.

I have no illusion that you can get anywhere with reason or common sense, or buying nice Christmas gifts, or even using the law. I know this now. It won't shock me.

Ds' case officer is 'putting his case to panel' in the new year btw - rofl