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MN Campaign This is my child - what happened?

38 replies

SallyBear · 06/11/2013 09:24

Huge amounts of fanfare. Guardian article, Radio 5 Live interviews, lots of debate on this board

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TheLeastAccomplishedBennetGirl · 06/11/2013 09:28

We get to use the #tag when challenging disablist crap on the main boards

SallyBear · 06/11/2013 09:29

Bloody iPad, sorry I hadn't finished posting! Blush

Just really wanted to ask, what happened to the campaign? All of us had something to say about it, and since the launch on Twitter - nothing. There have been loads of negative threads about SN on AIBU, and you feel that the Myth Busting that went on hasn't really happened.

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PolterGoose · 06/11/2013 09:59

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SallyBear · 06/11/2013 10:08

The last tweet from MN on the thisismychild hashtag was 19th Sept. Nothing since. Would I be right in thinking that this whole campaign has been a failure because it's not had a real direction? Nothing on FB apart from when it was launched. I feel disappointed as I was one of those in the Guardian piece, hoping that what I and others had said in the press made a difference. (Though my audiologist told me that she'd read it and shared it around the department! Blush)

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PolterGoose · 06/11/2013 10:10

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SallyBear · 06/11/2013 10:11

Well yes. You would be right to think that really Polter!

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bochead · 06/11/2013 11:24

Sadly it's a reflection of the wider general social climate Sad.

The disability hate crime toll is rising daily, and if we aren't careful history will look back on this period as one our generation should be ashamed of.

MNHQ - please give the campaign a bi-weekly plug on the main boards. So many families are out there really suffering at the moment as academies and free schools reject our kids, the bedroom tax kicks in, and the austerity cuts cut into so many of the services we rely on.

RowanMumsnet · 06/11/2013 11:56

Oh no - we're really sorry if it looks as though we're not following up.

The initial launch phase was all about drawing attention to the myth-busters and getting people's attention; we think we did that pretty well (it got huge coverage on Twitter and Facebook, as well as lots of mentions in the media, as you say).

The idea is to keep using the campaign as an umbrella for issues related to additional needs. Our plan for this quarter was to do a webchat around the SEN aspects of the Children and Families Bill - but this has been delayed a bit because lots of the people we'd like to feature are horribly busy and a bit difficult to pin down.

We're really sorry that from your point of view, this meant it looked like we weren't doing anything - we are keeping the wheels turning behind the scenes, but we do appreciate that this looks perilously similar to doing nothing if we don't keep you informed Blush.

Completely take your point about being more active on Twitter on the hashtag. The Bloggers Network were going to do another round-up post I think - we'll see if we can find out when that's happening and make sure we give it some welly. And we'll try to be more regular in our Twitter activity.

If any of you have suggestions for other activities that could come under the campaign umbrella - as we say, things along the lines of the webchat around SEN - do please keep the suggestions coming.

Thanks
MNHQ

SallyBear · 06/11/2013 12:20

Please don't forget about Facebook. It is another weapon in your arsenal to draw positive attention to SN as well as the weekly round up email.

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zzzzz · 06/11/2013 13:06

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zzzzz · 06/11/2013 13:08

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madmouse · 06/11/2013 13:46

I'm one of the many who have left (followed a link to this thread that someone posted on facebook). I believe the real reason why the campaign is not really taking off is that MNHQ themselves still do not geddit. They think they are anti-disablist but their ideas of what is disablist is somewhat different from mine and I ran into that one time too many. It has been rather painful to hear MN trumpet this campaign while knowing it doesn't keep its own house in order.

LegoAcupuncture · 06/11/2013 13:51

Well said madmouse!

PolterGoose · 06/11/2013 13:52

This reply has been deleted

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Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 06/11/2013 14:00

Thanks for the update MNHQ. I was also wondering what was happening.

I think there needs to be a zero tolerance approach - if I used used the N word, the P word, homophobic slurs etc on a thread I imagine I'd be deleted, warned and banned.

We need the same approach to disablist language. And none of this silly 'context' rubbish. MNHQ, can you please describe for me a context where it's ok for me to call a black person the N-word? Thought not!

It's very very simple. We would like our children to have the same rights as other people who are vulnerable to hate speech.

Please do continue the campaign and thank you for what you're doing behind the scenes. Just be a bit more 'kick-ass' on the threads. You know you want to! Grin

SallyBear · 06/11/2013 14:33

I think that maybe MNHQ could work in hand with big Charities such as NDCS, NAS, Downs, Cerebra (to name a few) and link their campaigns with MN. Raise awareness that way. Put it on the MN Active page with the hashtag 'This is my child' highlighting its importance.

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TheLightPassenger · 06/11/2013 15:25

I agree with others, the educational approach sadly doesnt seem to go far at all in dealing with the entrenched attitudes as described by bochead that flare up on the main boards as well as society at large.

RowanMumsnet · 06/11/2013 17:37

Hello again

Right - obviously there are some issues here (and I should hold my hands up and confess that it was me who suggested to zzzzz that she start a thread about disablist language). It is something we at MNHQ have been planning to have a discussion with posters about for some time. We're really really sorry if you felt under pressure to do this zzzzz - our bad. We will try to bring it up in the site webchat on Friday and see if we can open up the issue then.

In all honesty, there are times when we feel genuinely unsure about what to do. In the case of the use of 'speckle' (quoted above), you can see the post here. To us, it looks like a poster quoting a word that her own child uses to refer to herself. (To add to the confusion, to the best of our knowledge it's a neologism - ie, a completely new word that doesn't as yet have any particular implications beyond those that each person reading it chooses to bring to it.)

So on thoses bases - it's a made-up word, and a word that a bona fide MNer says her own child uses about herself - we decided to let it stand.

We're honestly interested to know how you'd have us handle things like this. We don't claim to always get it right, as you know. But (as we said to zzzzz in our message to her), we're mindful of the fact that as well as trying to protect our users from having to read outright disablist terms, we're also (at MNHQ) trying to bring along with us a community of thousands and thousands of posters, many of whom will never even have heard of the term 'disablist'. And one of the things we need to consider is whether an approach that deleted absolutely every complained-of term - every variation of 'special' for instance, or every use of 'special' in quotation marks - would actually end up alienating many of the people we're trying to bring along with us.

But as ever, we're genuinely interested to know what you think.

RowanMumsnet · 06/11/2013 17:44

Oh and two other recent examples that we'd be genuinely interested in having your input on:

a post written by someone whose husband has Asperger Syndrome: the poster wrote that sometimes she feels her husband is 'dead behind the eyes'. We left this to stand on the basis that this poster is describing her own experience of her relationships with her own husband (rather than generalising about all people with AS), but we've had some very passionate/angry reports saying that the post is extremely offensive to everyone with AS.

And a post on a thread about an emotionally abusive relationship, in which a poster said 'it sounds to me as though the person you're talking about has a personality disorder.' We got a report from an MNer who does actually have a diagnosed personality disorder, saying that she found the implication (that someone displaying narcissistic tendencies might have a personality disorder) offensive. We did actually delete this one, but caused some confusion on the thread by doing so, and we remain a bit unsure about how to treat casual mentions of personality disorders on the boards.

One of our yardsticks when considering things like this is whether the sentiment is a generalisation or not. So a post implying that everyone with AS is 'dead behind the eyes' would obviously go.

frizzcat · 06/11/2013 17:54

Polter was that troll thread the one about the child with ADHD? I do hope that was a troll Sad

MNHQ - just out of interest and I'm not asking in a goading way at all. Your team must have someone heading up this campaign or even a team of people right? Have any of those people spent time with a parent and child with a disability. The reason I ask is because I think it's very hard to understand and see the world through our eyes and I don't blame you for that, as I had no clue before I had ds but now I'm in this world and I have a whole different outlook.
Also there are some high profile people facing the same crap we are - could you not use them or ask them to help and lend a voice? One that springs to mind is the lady who plays Bridget Jones blonde sweary friend - I saw I a quick fire interview with her in a magazine and she mentioned that her eldest child was born with DS and she spent much of her time being a shouty mother at schools, LA etc - when she'd imagined being a latte mum.

SallyBear · 06/11/2013 18:06

Sally Philips is the actress you are thinking of Frizz.
Carrie & David Grant (Fame Academy) have at least 2 dd with ASD and OCD?
Rita Simons (Eastenders) dd is deaf
Katie Price her son has ASD, is VI and has mobility issues.

Plenty to get you started I think.

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inappropriatelyemployed · 06/11/2013 18:10

Maybe some legal advice too?

SallyBear · 06/11/2013 18:10

If one of the MNHQ staffers wanted to learn more about disability, living with DC with complex needs then I will happily volunteer if someone wants to catch a train and spend a day or two seeing what life is like on the coal face. Smile

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RowanMumsnet · 06/11/2013 18:11

@frizzcat

Polter was that troll thread the one about the child with ADHD? I do hope that was a troll Sad

Not sure what thread this was, but if you give us some clues we'll try to find out for you what happened.

@frizzcat

MNHQ - just out of interest and I'm not asking in a goading way at all. Your team must have someone heading up this campaign or even a team of people right? Have any of those people spent time with a parent and child with a disability. The reason I ask is because I think it's very hard to understand and see the world through our eyes and I don't blame you for that, as I had no clue before I had ds but now I'm in this world and I have a whole different outlook.

We do have a campaigns team who work on TIMC (along with our other campaigns). We also have staff members at MNHQ who have children with additional needs (unsurprising really when you think about it!).

It's an interesting idea though - thanks. We will have a think about it.

@frizzcat

Also there are some high profile people facing the same crap we are - could you not use them or ask them to help and lend a voice? One that springs to mind is the lady who plays Bridget Jones blonde sweary friend - I saw I a quick fire interview with her in a magazine and she mentioned that her eldest child was born with DS and she spent much of her time being a shouty mother at schools, LA etc - when she'd imagined being a latte mum.

We did have (what we thought was) a rather brilliant webchat with the author David Mitchell about his experience of being a dad to a son with autism - but we're always up for more suggestions along these lines. We'll have a look into this one.

inappropriatelyemployed · 06/11/2013 18:12

Sallybear - Not Katie Price after her diatribe about 'ignorant parents' not being able to get help.

What about someone with a disability themselves not those who just seek to speak for them? There are plenty of organisations out there and not all look at this from a paternalistic approach.

The Children's Commissioner would be good to get on board too. Passionately rights based approach and a powerful media voice.