That is just it she is not an in patient as they let her out. Partly because she came round enough to know who I was, that the fleece was not a laptop, that the leaflets were not the magazine rack in the shop, that there were no ants everywhere and her hair clip was not a mobile phone.
And partly because her heart rate wasnt going at 177 beats in the red laying down.
Inital thought was a break down, second thought after bloods revealed an overdose. She had taken a huge amount of tablets that basically turn into morphine plus another lot that flood the brain with serotonin there was the equivalent of 3 grams of morphine in her system not miligrams. So apart from the morphine she developed seratonin syndrome. I was told there was a possibility she would stay that way due to the amount of stress she was under. Frankly after 24 hours of being awake playing imaginary games, and being imaginary people and helping to rid imaginary fears my conclusion was that should my girl remain this way then this was worse than death itself which was her obvious intention.
We have been in and out of hospital with seizures and still non the wiser if they are due to this cyst on her brain. She is drastically underweight and living on 300 calories on a good day. We have had a seizure that was different in pattern and was due to blood sugars going down under 2.
On all visits every psych/doctor has agreed to write on her behalf to the gp to state mri needs doing and why the hell she has had to wait for lumbar puncture,(was supposed to have 2 marker tests/lumbar/mri by now but none done as GP thinks he is above the fucking neurologist) she meets all the critera for anorexia and a dx should be made etc etc. the ovarian cysts need attention due to pain and the lesions found in her abdomen need investigating. Consequently she also had swabs and was told no problem but they have been cultured and now infection/hpv in place. Yep could be cancer but was told by woman gp dealing with womans things that if she would just eat she would not be suffering.
present day: the major meeting where finally her eating was allegedly going to be taken seriously. OH yep another dangled carrot full of promises.
Now they are saying its borderline personality disorder (bearing in mind its not a written official dx) so suggested emotion coping support groups. Told that the second assessment for eating was not going ahead which is what she has been trying to hang out for.
Ironicly though she is being contacted by a dietician and support on dealing with body dismorphia .............but nope nothing wrong other than disordered eating.
Was told by the cpn "try to just sit still no wonder you are fading away. oh and give up stimulant drinks like coffee. She has black coffee only as no calories so that would leave her with water oh and her wrist bland to flick which helps her to ignore hunger pains.
I am going mad, I have this awful dread that I am going to lose my girl by the time they stop fucking around with groups and guesses. My coping is fading. I aparently made the cpn and another woman cry in the meeting and I am glad because I have been crying inside for fucking years. Danger is I am crying on the outside now and that means my coping is fading and I am good for nothing