please honk for me xx

[coff33pot]

you are the only ones that understand please honk for me as you bring me luck. in hospital with eldest dd and she has had a breakdown and doesn't know who I am :( I am someone else and she is so scared . I just might now its nearly too late be finally getting her real support before I lose her and need your vibes please z

[Mummyoftheyear]

Honk honk

[coff33pot]

thanks for that book will order it :) DD ordered a book called coping with anorexia and strategies which looks a good book and we are discussing it together.

stormed down GP as she was bringing up blood due to no food intake. her con couldn't bother her backside to phone her despite the out of hours faxing her as an emergency and the GP cancelled her appt because she was waiting for this call. So livid I managed to demand a script for nutrition replacement drinks. obviously they didn't want to as food is best but as she can't bring herself to swallow food now this is better than nothing at all. She lives on 300 calories daily and at least I persuaded her they are only 300 cal.
DD decided to use a bit of reverse psychology you could call it. instead of asking for help the reverse was done in the way of DD saying its all ok now thanks couldn't be happier as I will no longer have anyone bugging me about eating oh and I lost a stone in 3 weeks so all is well.

resulted in suddenly being given a dietician and nutritionist 1 to 1 help......not for a couple of weeks mind but hey ho. plus cpn and therapist support for body dismorphia.

As for the tests lets just say identities were changed ..... :)

[MariaNoMoreLurking]

I was looking at this book and was very impressed. It's designed for BPD primarily, but most of the top tips for families are those the geese recommend on MNSN for any of our 'complex' dc. There's some extra stuff too, so I think it might be useful even the BPD diagnosis evaporates when her physical stuff improves. I had to overlook a few Americanisms (the OTT-understanding 'letters' to fix family rows made me cringe a bit, but I think it's just cultural difference).

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

I'm so glad things aren't quite so difficult and that you are feeling better able to cope. Much love and honks. Xx

[MariaNoMoreLurking]

Well done with the rapid tests.
Am in awe of your NHS-diary-adjusting skills

Did you borrow one of claws strippers and bring them to the hosp to "help the administrator arrange" the appointments?

[frizzcat]

So glad things are moving coff ... Honks

Oh and Claw has strippers they stir tea and do handstands

[TOWIELA]

Honking for you coff.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

And if you missed it and feel up to it, Claw is having a Hen Party at the Goose and Carrot in preparation for getting married tomorrow.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Oh Coff. I admire you so very greatly. I wish you and your dd all the best with the next steps. The topic is outside of my experience but not of the general aspects of the system so I can only offer my understand of that and sympathy with the rest.

Thank you so much for posting to update when you have so much already going on.

[lougle]

What a fantastic Mum you are - an example to us all. Go get it, tiger!

[coff33pot]

I also want to say I am so grateful to all of you as you have all helped me think a lot straighter and the walls are not crumbling so much xxx

[coff33pot]

Thank you all have took all your advice x the maudsley prof link gave me a lot of valid info thank you :)

been on a mission so haven't replied sooner. So far lumbar puncture and MRI in same week in 2 weeks time not saying how at moment but suffice to say dd and I have mini war tactics planned and that is 2 worries she can cross off her list and just result waiting after :)

[EllenJaneFucker]

Still here if you need us, coff.

[frizzcat]

Coff - I'm out of my depth here and have nothing bloody remotely useful to say that will in any way help
Except still here, still honking. Keep nudging Coff, you're both such strong ladies

[MariaBoredOfLurking]

wet, threats to complain can work much better than actually reporting when people often go into defensive mode

Occasionally, the GP can treat quicker/better by cracking on and doing it themselves than by referring someone to moulder on a 16w waiting list.

The nonsense of asking the GP to refer someone to a cardiologist to confirm/ treat simple high blood pressure wasn't a made-up example, I actually know someone whose planned operation was almost cancelled as a result (luckily GP spotted the silliness, and practice nurse stepped in instead to monitor and treat the borderline blood pressure, which had probably been caused by the pain /stress of the delayed operation)

[SallyBear]

Wet - me too.

[wetaugust]

If my GP refused to rubber-stamp a Consultants recommendation they would find themselves reported to PALS etc by me

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

Coff, still here honking for you. I don't have the knowledge to advise you, though. I do know that girls with ASD are often anorexic, but you probably know that. ASD may be closer to the truth than BPD?

[MariaBoredOfLurking]

Am wondering if in her slightly rigid sibling-of-asd traits-lite view, your dd could have perceived her ds's little friend as a threat?

[MariaBoredOfLurking]

This professor has published a study on anorexia together with BPD

[MariaBoredOfLurking]

Wet, the GP has to rubber stamp all consultant-consultant onward referrals, else the NHS refuses to pay the bill. They got fed up paying consultant cardiologists to review orthopaedic referrals for non-existent or straightforward raised blood pressure.

[MariaBoredOfLurking]

It's perfectly possible to have half a dozen co-morbid illnesses, with borderline personality disorder making their detection and treatment more complex. Even the guidelines say so.

So refusing to assess/treat for the other things 'because she has bpd' is nonsense. In any case, the hierarchy is physical>psychiatric>personality so it's a bit dodgy diagnosing BPD when someone is very malnourished.

[wetaugust]

Coff

One thing that occurred to me is

Do you know where (if you had the money etc) you would like to send her to get the help she needs?

If so, contact them and ask how you set abaout getting an NHS funded place. I know the Priory (which has a good rep) does take NHS.
Sometimes these places actually help you to secure the placement.

Once a GP has referred you to a Consultant for a certian problem then the Consultant is responsible for dealing with that problem. That means the Consulatnt should refer you on to whichever other Consulatnts he/she feels you need to see - without having to go back to the GP. So your (useless) GP should be out of the loop and should just receive letters about her progress etc with this condition.

So it's definielt worth pushing anu Consulatnts she's been referred to to make their own onwards referrals.

Keep us posted Coff - we're all honking for you - actually bollox to flowers - have too