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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

bloody useless social worker!!!

33 replies

buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 13:36

ds1 is 14 and has severe behavioural problems,is blind in one eye,and has epilepsy.

weve just got yet another social worker (its our 4th in a year)and shes only met ds twice,1st time was when she was leaving and she said hello to him,2nd time was yesterday and she saw him for 15mins.

anyway,because of ds's problems,we dont let him go out with his friends unless there is an adult there aswell.his friends live over 30 mins drive away aswell in another village,so socialising would be hard.

this new social worker decided that she knows ds so well now,that she made a 'deal' with him yesterday.ds wants to be allowed to go out with his friends,and this social worker told him that if he behaves for the next 2 weeks,and doesnt steal anything (he steals things from us,my mums and if we go in shops he tries to take things) and if he doesnt hurt any of my other children (he loses his temper and lashes out),then i will trust him and let him go out!

i couldnt believe it when she said it!she doesnt know him like we do.yes it may seem unfair that we dont let him go out unsupervised,but he has the mental age of a 6 year old,often gets violent which usually leads to him having a seizure and his tendency to steal things!

she said i need to let go and allow him to mix with his friends,which would involve him going on a bus on his own!!!

sorry to rant,but im angry and upset.ive tried to ring his psychiatrist and tell him,but hes not available.

when the social worker told him this,i just said i didnt agree with this,and she kept saying i needed to trust him.now i just dont know what to do.ds thinks hes going to be able to go out on his own,if i say no to him now he'll get really angry and upset with me.

im really hoping that someone can offer some advice.

OP posts:
FioFio · 27/06/2006 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 16:53

i know!!

i am so angry with her.ds has come home from school today saying hes told his friends that he can go to their houses in 2 weeks time!

still havent spoken to the psychiatrist,hes still 'unavailable'

dh says i should ring social services up and complain about this new social worker.

im just so angry with her,she doesnt know ds,only from what she has read in the notes about him.

im going to tell her if he goes out i want her held responsible if he ends up getting hurt or hurts anyone else.

OP posts:
desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/06/2006 16:59

hello girls

buffy phone up her manager and ask for official complaint form

explain that you feel that she does not know your son good enough to allow this and he is effictively put at risk through her actions

good luck
xxx

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:01

hi scousey!!how ya doing?

im just so bloody furious with her!!

hows the new house?

OP posts:
LeahE · 27/06/2006 17:02
Shock
aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 17:02

Bloody Social Worker - who the hell does she think she is! He's your son she should butt out. Sorry, no advice to give but symapthise with you. xx

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/06/2006 17:02

great thanx buffster
but i would deffo put in a complaint

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:06

i will put in a complaint.

shes seeing him again in 2 weeks (we're on holiday next week!),and dh has said he'll take the day off and be here when she comes.god help her then!!

and do you know what she said to me what made my blood boil?she said "i'm a mum myself and i know you have to let go"

i mean, wtf?!!!she obviously hasnt got a child with special needs otherwise she wouldnt have said that.stupid woman!!

OP posts:
desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/06/2006 17:07

all oscial workers are the same imo
up their own arses and effing useless imo

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:09

totally agree with you there scousey.weve had 4 in the last year.they come,do and assessment,then bugger off.

in the last 10 years we have had 13 social workers!(just counted and thats even shocked me!!didnt think it was taht many!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:10

just seen your thread aswell aaronsmummy,sorry mines got nearly the same thread title!!

think we should send in the mn lynch mob to get all the useless ones out!!

OP posts:
aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 17:12

Mine was a student - perhaps she wants a 'cause'. I am gonna have to take a deep breath and actually complain for once. My Mum says I need to grow some b**cks!

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:14

mines a student aswell!!!you dont live in north wales do you?

OP posts:
desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/06/2006 17:15

there would be not one left
if you got rid of all the useless ones

the country would be in a crisis
i think not

aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 17:16

No but not far - South Manchester. She has a car lol.

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:16

i told this new one something about ds1's dad (who hasnt even bothered to pick up the phone for 3 and half years) and this little miss do gooder,goes and tells ds what i said about his dad!its not something i wanted him to know either

OP posts:
aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 17:20

What a cow - I think mine wants to give me and dh marriage guidance. We muddle along but her interfering could split us up, she has no kids and doesnt understand what a strain it is having kids and even harder when one is sn. Yours should know better because she is a mum herself. Meddling more than my mil (who also lives in north wales by the way).

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:38

you definately need to complain about yours.

whereabouts is your mil?

OP posts:
macwoozy · 27/06/2006 17:51

I'm shocked, how dare she say this to your ds You've got to put her straight, she sounds totally clueless.

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 17:57

i thought she was ok when she first came,but when she said this to ds without even running it past me first,well,i think shes a bloody plonker!

OP posts:
aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 18:01

Mil is in Rhos 0n Sea. I am new to soc workers as ds2 has had a recent asd dx. She came to assess our needs - respite etc which we don;t need and i told her that. Can I tell her to leave us alone now as they can't offer us anything we need or am i stuck now? Sorry - I seem to be muscling in on your thread. xx

Original poster
buffythenappyslayer · 27/06/2006 18:04

i think you can tell them to bugger off,but then they might think youre being difficult,and they'll probably read more into it.

they offered us respite and i said no.dont think i could trust anyone to look after him the way i do!

OP posts:
aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 18:18

That's the way I feel - he doesnt sleep more than a few hours at night and not at all in the day. He is only comfortable with familiar adults/surroundings and screams in terror when faced with too much that is new to him. He also cannot communicate very well. He's only 3 bless him so i defo don't want him to be staying elsewhere. I think with a child with sn you are more protective because only you truly know your child and how they react in different situations. It doesnt matter how old they are they can't be treated like any other child. Your sw sounds like an absolute idiot to me. But then it looks to me like they all are. You know your son best - what you say should be respected.

onlyjoking9329 · 27/06/2006 19:53

oh dear, i would like to be able to defend social workers (i used to be one)but i cant defend her behavior, our three have a social worker who is lovely, very slow thou but she gets things done....eventually, we didn't want respite care as such but we did want to get the kids out and about with others so we opted for direct payments we don't get much but at least we are in the system.

aaronsmummy · 27/06/2006 19:56

onlyjoking- what are direct payments?