Sensory Overload: manages all day at school then meltdown in the evening - any advice?

[linspins]

I'm posting this as a teacher where the child goes to school. This little chap has Sensory Processing difficulties, and possible Asperger's (though we are keeping an open mind). He has just started in Reception class. Towards the end of last term when he was in Kindergarten, his behaviour at home was increasingly difficult - his mother reported that he threw things, shouted, kicked, used bad language and daily life was a struggle. Outside of school his behaviour was odd and this distressed the mother. We wondered if the change to routine, excitement, tiredness etc of the end of term had caused the little boy to have Sensory Overload. The first week of the holiday was bad, then he calmed down, rested and had a great summer.
Now he is back at school it's all beginning again and I know the family are worried.
At school his behaviour is manageable, and he seems to cope. If he doesn't show immediate signs of overload, how do we know which aspects of school are causing him problems? I'm keen to reduce the areas he is being overstimulated in - but is it the noise? The visual background? the motion and exciting play? the difficulty of sitting on the carpet and listening?
We would be able to put in to place any strategies necessary to help him, but I need ideas and advice.
He does attend a sensory circuit for ten minutes before school, and is in the 'system' for a paediatrician assessment.

Mumsnet mums - does your child hold it together at school and explode in the evening? How does your school address this? What shall we try? Thanks!

You are a fabulous teacher!!!

Our school I'm sure thinks I'm making it all up even though I camhs involvement. They apparently don't see anything there at all.

He explodes at home. It has been suggested to me to find out DS' timetable and see which days he was exploding most on. Maybe you could liase with mum and find this out then work out which lesson/s are a flashpoint?

To be honest I think it's every day - his poor mummy! Because the little boy is only just 5 he had a mixed activity day each day, with lots of play, some outdoor time, some teacher-led activities etc. Our lunch hall is very noisy (acoustically challenging, it's not all the children's fault). Some days there is PE, drama or music, but I don't think his behaviour at home reflects the timetable. Worth checking though.

I have thought of these things: Encourage him to listen to story tapes with headphone on
Take a break outside with a member of staff for a quiet wander
Curl up on a beanbag with a book

I wish I could identify which aspects of school are the challenging ones - or maybe it's the accumulative effect of it all?

Yes my Dd3 is like this, she is nearly 11 now and has a diagnosis of Asd. She holds on to all her anxieties through the day and then explodes when she comes out of school. To be fair she is a lot better now she is in an inclusive school who support her well most of the time.

There is a book called Too loud, too bright, too fast (I think) and another called 10 things every child with autism wishes you knew that might give you some ideas.

My Dd3 has transition lenses in her glasses to help her with the bright lights at school. She sits away from the mass of children at lunchtime and arrives after the rush in the cloakroom in the morning.

She has a friend who wears ear defenders to help with the noise but she didnt want to try them.

It is great to see a member of the teaching profession on here asking parents for advice. We are so often thought of as over fussy or bad parents.

Thanks and good luck

I suggest that its likely to be the cumulative effects of the day...trying to keep it together so that he can learn.
I think he's lucky boy to have a teacher who is interested and open enough to hear and learn about the effect of his day on his home life.

Your ideas about some quiet time during the day is great (if it can be done without excluding him/marking him out). Trips on errands to other classrooms (can be arranged with the teacher there), carrying notes to the office.

Proprioceptive/heavy work is also calming- so building movement breaks into his day is a great idea. So while going for a wander with another teacher is good, asking him to carry a load is even better. For example, can he have the (heavy) job of carting everyone's books back to the library, or to bring a ream of paper to the classroom, or ask him to clean the whiteboard (large heavy movements).

Any setting out of equipment/ carrying sports gear becomes his 'job'.

Lots of children find that they can concentrate more easily after movement (adults too) so movement before a core lesson. Using play-dough or blu-tak as a 'fidget' when he has to concentrate.

Lastly, in a classroom in Oz, I saw the teacher had built-in a child-waist height bench on one wall.....to allow children to stand for their written work if needed. Children were allowed to stand up and go to the bench to read/write as they wanted.

the difficult thing is every child with sensory issues in different - my ds has dyspraxia and SPD - and is sensory seeking, but at that age could be pushed into sensory overload.

Is he seeing an OT? could they make suggestions?

But here are some ideas - pressure - this could be bean bag like things, that can be draped over shoulders and laps.

A tent, with cushions, creating a dimly lit environment. Ikea do a hanging seat, that swings and they can kind of climb into, but you have to be careful with swinging - ds gets hyped up with it if it doesn't involve proprioceptive along with the movement.

A balance ball to sit on rather than a chair.

Brain Gym breaks - whole class can do exercises.

There are these lycra tubes kids can sit in at matt time and push there hands and feet against - gives them propriceptive input.

I think anything proprioceptive is calming - but that may just be my DS (bean bags are proprioceptive)

That doesn't seem very helpful.....

You could make a referral to local OT?

Thanks all!
He is seeing a private OT, and there is a meeting scheduled soon with this lady and his parents - and his mum has invited me too, so I'm totally up for that. I will pick her brains lots!
We have a gentle weighted lap tiger (one of those hot bag type things, and a weighted snake which is mega heavy. I'll look at ways to build in more heavy work and movement.
Our white board is a interactive one so no unfortunately cleaning it requires no pressure!
The tricky thing about all this is that it's so difficult to measure whether any particular thing has made a difference. We'll have to put in to place a few things, and then see how he is at home.

Any further ideas welcome!

One other thing popped into my head...
Often children on the spectrum will blow up in the safety of home after a stressful day...and homework seems to be a big issue as it's the intrusion of 'stressful school ' into 'safe home' IYSWIM?

So being flexible (to an extent) about homework might also be helpful?
Just a thought.

Mindfulness/meditation at an age-appropriate level ...I've found this with my DS....he loves a good visualisation (usually I have to read it though he has asked me to record it for him). It's been really helpful for him to calm down when stressed especially at bed-time

Bless you you have no idea what a godsend teachers like you are, I wish I could hug you.

Ds1s teacher is wonderful and was really upset last week when I mentioned he's holding it together at school but exploding at home. She's meeting me this week to discuss coping strategies and has already done a few things differently today to minimise the fallout.

With ds1 its that he is completely exhausted after a day at school. He has to work so hard all day to concentrate despite the constant noise and visual stimulus, plus he has to fight to resist the urge to move all day. He has ADHD and is a sensory seeker, sitting still all day exhausts him.

The best way to find out what aspects of school overload your lad would be to ask his parents to try and discuss it with him when he's calm. Ds1 will tell me what bothered him at school but would never let on to his teacher if he's struggling.

Thank you all so much! Had a quick read of the last few messages before I dash to school this morning! More tonight! xx

That's good that he is seeing an OT, after assessment everyone will know exactly where his difficulties are and you can direct help and hopefully make a difference.

Sensory difficulties are different for each child and can be so complex, even conflicting and there can be a great deal of scatter too.

Good luck.

oh yes.

I would like to thank you for taking such an interest in this child. I wish you were my son's teacher

DS is just the same. Gets by at school and it all goes wrong at home. Our school doesn't really believe me that this happens. I am certain it is because his sensory needs are not being met. SENCO was quite shocked when I suggested this!

As others have said each child has different needs. My son would not respond to heavy work, for example. He has a move'n'sit cushion which really helps him stay sat on a chair. The OT is in the best position to advise on this. Another good book is 'the out of sync child'. Homework is also a flash point for us.

Ds holds it together at school but melts down every evening .
He just has to let out all the days demands that have been put on him and home is where he's comfortable enough to do that.
He's at a school that are fab and support him amazingly but he's still anxious so by the time he gets home he's like a pressure cooker that as been simmering slowly all day and I get the boiling whistle at the end.
It really is very common for kids on the spectrum to do this.

Well done you

It's necessary for the school and the home to have a shared understanding to best help the child. Unfortunately, a lot of schools react negatively to parental reports and disbelieve them utterly. Then, when parents (myself included) take videos or pictures to 'prove' the reality at home, we are reported to SS.

Although it is extremely common this combination of keeping it together at school and melting down at home is not well know and causes parents huge distress.

For your next good deed you should point mum in the direction of MNSM. It is a relief to find out that you are not alone and she will need to know practically how to cope and help him cope with overwhelming anxiety. All DC are different and so the right response is often counter-intuitive (eg attempting to hug DS1 would result in physical attack)

Ds1(9) AS is like this. School says that there are no problems. Thtas' because he holds it together well at school.
Totally norm for an As child to be good at school, and then let it all out , when they get to the place that they feel the safest - ie home with mum.
But its so unfair on mum, because she gets the brunt.
I know ALL about this

I suggest: snack, calm home time/let down time, and just let him do things in his own time.

I wish all teachers were like you. My school doesn't even believe me. I think they think I got munchausens!!

Linspins

It is indeed to your credit that you have posted here.

He needs a quiet and safe space that he can go to without any fuss or rancour.

The scenario you describe often happens because the child's additional needs in school are not anywhere near being met. The child bottles up all the frustrations of the school day to take it all out on the nearest and dearest at home.

Has anyone mentioned actually applying for a Statement?. Think this is something that needs doing now; also this family need to think longer term i.e junior school because the pressure there gets ramped up exponentially the further the child goes through the school.

It would appear that cuts in SEN funding/provision have 'coincided' with a veritable epidemic of MBP Momas.

Would also point out, that meltdowns might not be purely due to sensory overload, lack of structure or support can have the same affect.

The more structured his day, the better. Supporting him with the other things he finds difficult also.

With ds I find its a mixture of sensory, social interaction, social communication etc especially around unstructured times such as playtime, lunchtime, PE etc

How do they get too and from school? I used to let DS play on the Nintendo ds on the drive home. Sat in the back of the car with the Nintendo on mute, and would only speak to him if he spoke to me first. Now he's older and at Secondary, we still do it, but now he plays Minecraft on his tablet.

Hi!
Sunnymeg, yes they come by car, about a 15 min journey. I'll ask his mum whether they chat or whether he has quiet time in the car. He has a little brother - I wonder if they muck about a bit!
Claw2 - the days are structured in a sense, eg usually assembly, playtimes, lunchtimes all the same, and we have a visual timetable to show what is happening each day.
I will keep a close eye on whether he needs extra support with anything in particular. He loves playtimes outside - possibly sensory seeking at these times, but then becoming a bit over excited.
The classroom is pretty small, so fitting in any kind of bolthole is tricky, but I'm prepared to be creative. Any ideas Mums? In a room that size it's also hard to find any spot that is quiet (it isn't!), unless it's story time for example.

I worry for his mum, and his family, and don't want his behaviour outside of school to over shadow their lives and 'spoil' their enjoyment of each other. His mum has serious health problems at the moment too, and needs support herself.

Question about ear defenders - anyone recommend a good brand? Should I get some that block out most noise, or some noise?