Sensory Overload: manages all day at school then meltdown in the evening - any advice?

[linspins]

I'm posting this as a teacher where the child goes to school. This little chap has Sensory Processing difficulties, and possible Asperger's (though we are keeping an open mind). He has just started in Reception class. Towards the end of last term when he was in Kindergarten, his behaviour at home was increasingly difficult - his mother reported that he threw things, shouted, kicked, used bad language and daily life was a struggle. Outside of school his behaviour was odd and this distressed the mother. We wondered if the change to routine, excitement, tiredness etc of the end of term had caused the little boy to have Sensory Overload. The first week of the holiday was bad, then he calmed down, rested and had a great summer.
Now he is back at school it's all beginning again and I know the family are worried.
At school his behaviour is manageable, and he seems to cope. If he doesn't show immediate signs of overload, how do we know which aspects of school are causing him problems? I'm keen to reduce the areas he is being overstimulated in - but is it the noise? The visual background? the motion and exciting play? the difficulty of sitting on the carpet and listening?
We would be able to put in to place any strategies necessary to help him, but I need ideas and advice.
He does attend a sensory circuit for ten minutes before school, and is in the 'system' for a paediatrician assessment.

Mumsnet mums - does your child hold it together at school and explode in the evening? How does your school address this? What shall we try? Thanks!

My two have multiple SID's , result of FAS FASD, includes problem's with light, noise, touch, sleep, things that dangle in the room as in most class rooms. No solution's just understanding and finding suitable strategy's, Home and school have too extend with each other too prevent melt down . SID's diets put in place with help of OT. most like
order tidy places, teach in bite size. Post me if you want any Info Literature lipspins

You know, for me just knowing the school is understanding and supportive is a huge reduction in tension. Knowing that if he goes in without homework done his teacher will know why and won't cause a fuss, knowing that if he's got weird bruises or his brother has a black eye the teachers will be understanding rather than ringing ss, knowing that if he misses days I won't be getting letters, knowing that his teacher is on our side.

I find I'm calmer in dealing with him when I don't have a constant worry about 'what do the school think?'. I'm more relaxed around him and as a result he's calmer and easier to defuse.

Just letting the mother know you're 100% on her side will benefit that family.

I've just joined my son is 8,he sensory seeks a lot at home and when out but not much at school, his teacher thinks i am mad! But thankfully I video things,he's started complaint of headaches aswell ,
I too find it most bizarre how the kids can hold it in ,
My son hates to be different from his friends incase they laugh at him. I often wander if this is reason why he is getting headaches because he's holding it al in

Ds1 has ASD, dyspraxia, hypermobility and adhd. This is exact.y how he behaves. From reading this he also may have sensory processing issues too. He actively seeks out touch and chews things a lot! He is coming up 9.

We have seen the paediatrician, but are awaiting the OT and PT referrals. I know school have sent back his report as have I.

He regularly explodes after school, it gets steadily worse over the academic year and by the end of July he is unstoppable in his explosions. I took him out at the beginning of July two years ago for a holiday and the difference in him was marked. Once he was out of the school routine he became a different child, calm (for him) and we had no explosions because things were allowed to run at a pace which worked better for him.

Yep, we have this - fine at school and meltdowns at home with DS1(8), ADHD with some ASD traits and sensory issues.

Pretty much the biggest thing that prevents DS1 keeping control of things at home is DS2(4). He doesn't even have to be doing anything, just his very existence in the same room seems to be a major explosion point sometimes, it's almost like DS1 can't get his thoughts straight while DS2 is catching his attention in any tiny way. Also when he somehow gains our attention so DS1 can't fully have his say, big flashpoint there.

I think partly it's that he's had to concentrate so much at school, he expects to, and needs to mentally relax at home and really let his head really wind down.

If I see it building, getting them into different rooms helps, though isn't always easy to do. Setting quiet activities for each of them, like play-doh for one and lego for the other can work. They always seem to want to play together though! And homework is only attempted when all conditions are just right, and almost always when DH is home so we can take one child each.

Flip side of all of this is that other times they play beautifully, like I've brought different kids home.

It's great you're asking. My biggest comfort is that DS's teachers are so proactive, and always there to talk things through.

Oh, and we have Edz Kidz ear defenders, especially useful in the car though they sometimes come into the house too.

Just to say that my friend has a DD like you describe and school are giving her the face and even though they have to take her out of the room for certain things such as to read and she has an IEP, they refuse to support my friend.

She's currently going through her GP to get the assessment that her daugter needs - she's at her wits end with DD hitting, biting, kicking, spitting and swearing. She controls herself at school and then EXPLODES at home.

I wish we had a teacher like you at our school