What do you think - 'autistic child' or a child 'with autism'?

[everynameistaken]

Not posted for a while. But just asking this as I sometimes come accross this at work. I prefer to say thay my DS has autism rather than DS is autistic.

Taking over some work from a colleague and all over the paperwork is says 3 autistic children and it kind of gets my back up a bit. I want to start as I mean to go on and say 3 children with autistic spectrum disorder.

Without sounding too AIBU, am I being unreasonable??

Am I overthinking this? Is it just me it upsets?

Ages ago when I worked in health care we were told to use the phase people living with HIV and not people with HIV.

I started using children with XXX rather than XXX children because of Mumsnet. People with DCs with autism or whatever were getting offended by it and I don't wont to offend anyone so I switched my terminology. I don't always remember but I am getting there.

HisMum, i don't see any inference of hiding autism away in choosing different words

to explain again, i don't refer to my DD as 'my autistic DD' as she is far more than autism

have you not read the captions under the pictures in the 'ThisIsMyChild' gallery?

captions given there describe their child and adds 'also has autism' no less than 11 times...these MNers have given pictures of their children over to MNHQ so they can be SEEN...far from hidden

Polter, you are also inferring stuff from my posts that isn't there and not paying attention to what is. That's the nature of language, the word, once spoken has its own life in the eyes of the beholder.

You didn't answer the question.

Why do you want me to shut up?

I don't say that DH is a diabetic, which implies that he is that and nothing else, but I do say that he is diabetic, which describes him, as does he is blonde, he is tall etc. Subtle distinction.

I can see that there is a difference between saying "X is autistic", and "X is the autistic one", but to me there really isn't any difference between "X is autistic" and "X has autism".

However if the use of the word autistic is offensive to some in any context I will try and remember not to say it.

If people with ASD or any other conditions can speak for themselves that's all well and good and they can choose whatever the hell they want to be called. But I don't accept that they can speak for my son

Of course no one else can say what your son should be called, but you sound like you don't think their opinion is worth anything and that you don't respect their individual decisions on the matter from the language you have used there.

I don't mind how others decide to term it, as long as no one is being insulting, Im ok. but there seems to be lots of emotion tied up in the terminology for some people, unnecessarily so IMO.

I wouldn't reduce either of my loved ones to a condition

Neither would I. Even if my son was unable to voice his opinion on the subject [I'm thankful he can] I wouldn't see my saying 'he is autistic' as 'reducing' him to anything, he is autistic, it is a statement of fact but it isn't the only thing about him.

Incidently, my Mother is diabetic. she is also a bereavement counsellor, an educator, *foster carer and a really nice person. it is a fact that she is diabetic, but it doesn't define her.

*was until retirement at least, but the skills and mindset remain!

There must be something in the air tonight. MNSN has never been so scratchy

You might be right there! end of school hols/back to school blues? everyones gone stir crazy?

I have a touch of PMT, that's my excuse I'll go and have a cup of camomile tea...

I tell people that my ds has a social communication disorder as an explanation when it is needed. I don't say he is socially inept.

I'm not ashamed of him, of his autism, or his social difficulties. He might want to call himself autistic, in the way that some people like to call themselves a feminist, or linguistic, or a Buddhist. But until they take on that identity and share with me that they have, I think it is presumptuous for me to label them in that way.

However if the use of the word autistic is offensive to some in any context I will try and remember not to say it

See this is the problem with this whole thing. [not that you think that WhoKnows, but that such debates have that sort of outcome]

I don't want to ban anyone from saying 'has autism' indeed I use the term myself sometimes, but one side of this 'debate' shouldn't be silencing the other.

Say what you like, but don't try to make other terms into 'bad words'

I have explained my and my sons reasoning, I am not trying to convince anyone my way is right, just backing up my viewpoint with an explanation.

'Has autism' and 'is autistic' mean the same thing, it is just semantics.

Lets be careful not to add more barriers to speaking about autism, it can't be a good thing to make people feel worried about using the 'wrong' term when it all means the same thing.

There are bigger fish to fry on that front IMO.

I am feeling a bit as though whatever I say is wrong in this matter lately. I have tended in the past to say that DS has AS (his diagnosis is AS/ASD), and I got pulled up on a thread the other week by people saying that I should say autism/autistic/ASD whatever instead of AS because it perpetuates the myth that AS is milder than ASD (DS does a very good impression of being NT a lot of the time, but is actually quite severely affected). I have taken that on board and started saying autism/autistic etc at times, now I feel unsure about that too. It is a minefield, but rest assured I do not want to offend anyone.

WhoKnows you should use what makes you feel comfortable

just as autism is a spectrum condition, so is parenting almost IYGWIM

we all have different tolerance levels, different ideals

trust your instincts

Polter, yes I don't think that was a fair interpretation of your words. I also agree with you that individuals opinions on the choice of terms is to be respected [and have said so in my posts]

With respect Poltergoose, your post at 16.18 came across as wanting him to be described as funny, clever, anything rather than autistic, as opposed to wanting him to be described as having autism instead of being autistic. Obviously that isn't what you meant, but that particular post did seem to say the former.

Good post Amberleaf.

You don't want people to be think its a delicate sensitive 'issue' that shouldn't be talked about.

TBH, I found that nearly everyone hears the word 'autism' or 'autistic' and then makes totally wrong assumptions about my ds, because he doesn't present like many children with autism despite getting a dx of classic autism.

It was one of the biggest issues with his education, because of the insistence that he had to have routine, pictures, ear-defenders and a pop-up tent to function. It was assumed that his receptive understanding was behind his expressive when it is the other way around, and because his expressive was poor that meant even more frustration to him when they treated him as if his understanding was half of that, when it was 20x that.

He fits the dx perfectly, but not the stereotypes or half-day teacher training.

A vague description of his difficulties means that people are aware that they haven't got a clue what his issues are but that he has some.

And I think that is why I like 'has autism'. Because I think it sounds like a more flexible thing than 'is autistic' and I have spent the past 4 years battling assumptions of what he should or should not be able to do.

In read Polters post as being clever, being bright was equal to 'being autistic' as a descriptor, but using it at the expense of the others should be discouraged.

Oh and thank you Ripping. It is interesting to hear others views on this (as with so many other things on MN), but the downside is that it makes you start to doubt yourself (or I do anyway).