What do you think - 'autistic child' or a child 'with autism'?

[everynameistaken]

Not posted for a while. But just asking this as I sometimes come accross this at work. I prefer to say thay my DS has autism rather than DS is autistic.

Taking over some work from a colleague and all over the paperwork is says 3 autistic children and it kind of gets my back up a bit. I want to start as I mean to go on and say 3 children with autistic spectrum disorder.

Without sounding too AIBU, am I being unreasonable??

Am I overthinking this? Is it just me it upsets?

I make the diabetic comparison too, as DH has diabetes and DS has autism. To be honest it doesn't bother me if DS is described as autistic any more than it does if DH is described as diabetic.

Isn't being fully unapologetic about autism a condition for acceptance and equality? If as parents we hesitate to say that DC "are", no "have", no "are affected by", no "are a little bit", no, "sometimes are" "autistic", do we give in a little to the view that is is not OK to be autistic?

For me it's like gay pride parade, a bit OTT, but that's how they assert they are OK, they should be accepted. You wouldn't hesitate to say "he is gay" now. It's even cool.

Someone once posted a link to a blog of how to survive the endless pointless meetings we have to endure. One of the tips was that each time some prof/LA/Senco/teacher said 'with autism' to correct them and say 'autistic' and then each time they say 'autistic' to correct them and say 'with autism'. Sounds like fun.

Is it just ill behaved child of lazy parents and just an attempt to scrounge benefits off the system ?
I think it's more the like that they are mentally deficient, need to be corrected and reeducated, or put on the scrap hip.

That's why I think ultimately equality means autistic people are fine just the way they are.

For me it is the abuse and ignorance of words which changes how we use them words. An example being my DS2 grabbed some fries off a persons plate, I apologise on his behalf ( non verbal) and explain he is autistic. Mums watching a child mis behaving come to the conclusion he must be 'autistic'. It is why we lose so many words relating to disabilities not because the word is wrong but the use of the word becomes so negative.

How did gays manage to change a culture so that you can't use the word "gay" negatively?

Yes, Polter, maybe, but no openly and not in official capacity and ultimately only by bigots. Autistic people being "deficient" is still a mainstream view.
Do gays apologize for being gay?

I say both. Autistic is merely an adjective, used this way and I am as likely to say "he is autistic" as "he is blond".

I am much less comfortable with saying "he is an Autistic" but if either of them want to identify that way, when they are old enough, that's their business.

I cringe more when people say that their child is SN rather than that their child has SN. Mostly because it makes so little sense, gramatically.

and trust me to spell grammatically incorrectly!

HisMum - "gay" is used pretty widely by teens as an insult.

This thread is about how parents and those working with DC who are autistic or have SN feel about those conditions and how this emotion translates in their use of language.

Is it CBT or NLP that says "smile and you will feel better"... I think if the words "autistic", "has autism", "has SN" etc are used freely and unapologetically, more people will come round to seeing those conditions as just another shade of humanity.

ok, so now those of us who prefer our DCs to be acknowledged primarily as children and not their disability are apologising for them?

this place is getting weirder by the day

oh shit, t'is me RippingYarns, i was playing with NCes

How saying "autistic child" acknowledges her less as just a child?

I always say a child with XXX but I think it is unfair to be offended by people saying a XXX child Hopefully, in a few years time it will be the norm for everyone to use the more compassionate term but it takes time for lots of people to catch up with our ever changing language rules.

because that's MY preference

i use the words freely, it was yourself that brought 'apology' into the mix

So "with autism" is more compassionate than "autistic"?
Why do people need to become / use "more compassionate" term?
Isn't that exactly the face of discrimination?