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Anxious about toddler speech delay

85 replies

riojabotherer · 05/08/2013 19:22

Hi all

I'm not really sure if I should be as worried as I am about this, but hoping for a little advice.

My son will be 21 months old later this month and isn't yet talking. He babbles lots and makes lots of the right sounds (though I've never heard any hard c sound' but I can't say for sure that I've heard anything aside from the odd 'Ma/Mum/Mama'. What's confusing and really hard to describe, is that he will make a sound like, say, 'Uh-oh' but without opening his mouth, much in the same way as we'd say 'Mmm' in agreement. He'll also imitate what I'm saying sometimes in the same way, a sound with the right intonation, just without speaking. He also makes an expressive sound from the back of his throat that I can make, but not describe. Sort of like saying a 'c' sound with your mouth closed.

He learned to point early and I think he feels he can get everything he wants without talking. He follows fairly complex instructions well and picks stuff up easily. I'd say his understanding is surprisingly good for his age.

Whether or not it helps for context, he walked with help early but didn't want to let go of my hand until he was 16 months. Lack of confidence, I would say. As I recall he was later making sounds than other babies when younger.

I'm awaiting an HV assessment to see how delayed he is. That was long - thanks so much for reading.

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 21/08/2013 12:44

Right, finally managed to find those notes bht posting from phone so may go wrong!

Tips for early-stage talking (one to two words)

Speak to her using only one or two words, repeated again (and again and again and again, five or ten times at once), e.g. ?shoes?, ?up?.

30 minutes (or as much as you can manage) one-to-one, uninterupted playtime every day.Undivided attention. Selection of different toys / books (with lots of space) around room, let her lead.Sit on the floor near her, follow her.Include noise-making toys. Show her what makes noises (e.g. tap on things, knock).

Follow her attention and talk about the things she?s interested in. Work out her focus / thoughts. Follow her gaze / moves.Comments on things she?s focusing on (adds to the fun for her and helps her to learn).E.g. name objects she points at, make it do something.

Repetition of simple words / names / phrases.Short, simple sentences (?here?s dolly?, ?let?s get car?), lots of repetition of same word, e.g. ?it?s the ball, ball?s rolling?.Labelling games, e.g. ?Dolly?s nose, dolly?s legs, dolly?s feet?.

Speak slowly, louder than normal, lots of tune in voice, slight emphasis on the main word.Point to things when you name them.

Running commentary on things she?s doing / interested in (in v simple words).Don?t worry if seems not to be listening.The more closely your commentary relates to what is in her mind at that moment, the more likely she is to listen and learn.

Make play sounds to go with things that happen,e.g. ?choo choo?, ?brrm? ?splish splash?, ?crash?, ?miaow?, ?moo?. As she plays.

Say her sounds / words back to her. (Might develop into taking turns to ?chat? in babble).

Respond to what she means (however she tells you ? she may use gestures, noises, body language). Repeat what she means back to her ? show her you understand what she?s telling you.

Wait before giving her things.Pause ? don?t give her everything straight away ? pause to see if she?ll ask for it with words or noise!Younger children in the family often don?t have to verbalise their needs, since their parents and siblings are alert to their needs and run around after them. So sometimes good to be bit less responsive!

Good games / things to do:Rhymes, action rhymes, finger/toe rhymes.Turn-taking, e.g. hiding, peepo, chasing, clapping hands.

Name and repeat things / phrases during daily routines, e.g. ?shoes off, coat off?, ?nappy, wipes?, ?oops?, ?wash face, wash hands?.

Words during games, e.g. ?mummy jump, daddy jump, sally jump?Give her a little bit, e.g. milk, then say ?more?? then pause. (She may say ?more? or make a noise). But if not, just give her it anyway.?Ready, steady, go?, ?all fall down? during games. After she?s got used to the phrase, pause at ?go? (she may say it or make a noise).

Simple instructions, e.g. ?give to daddy?, ?get shoes?, ?up up?, ?help tidy?.

Show her and name things.

Action words (eat, sleep, drink, shout, jump, run)

Things not to do (don?ts)

Questions. Don?t ask questions (which are really tests: toddlers know this). Gives them the problem of trying to figure out an answer. Interferes with listening and causes stress.OK to seek information (e.g. ?do you want some milk??). But should not seek answers / words (e.g. ?what?s this??)OK to ask her to point to things, e.g. pictures in books, objects, but not too often.

Don?t direct her (e.g. by trying to get her to do / play with / look at things of your choice).Directions mean she has to decide whether to comply. Jarring.

Don?t impose your agenda (e.g. to show her a new toy)Avoid ?look at this?, ?here, Josie?, ?what?s this?? Interupting her thoughts / actions.

Don?t overtly try to make her talk.Don?t ask her to say or copy words or sounds.E.g. ?say bye bye to Grandad?, ?say mama?. Too much pressure., makes self-conscious.

Over-enthusiasm when she talks

.Negative speech/commands, e.g. ?no,? ?don?t touch?, ?stop that?, ?get off?.Want to give the message that voice is fun to listen to.Instead of using these words, when possible intercept / move her physically / distract her.

Don?t correct her speech. (But OK to repeat back in confirmation, correctly).

Things in environment that are not ideal:Computer / ipad.TV for more than 30 minutes a day.Background noise (radio, music).

Notes Hard for toddlers to ?tune out? background sound ? this skill needs nurturing with practice in quiet conditions. Learn most during short, one-to-one sessions. When out and about or with other children there're too many distractions.

Pointing / gestures / sounds may indicate different wants, e.g. she might want to know the word for an object, to play with it, have a song (e.g. igglepiggle).

Some words might disappear for long periods of time.

Can?t concentrate for long, but occasionally may have spells of intense concentration on things of her choice.

Can extend from one to two words, to three/four and sentences by repeating what she says back to her and adding to it, e.g. she says "want milk", could say "I'm thirsty, want some milk please", she says "play outside", could say "I play on the slide outside".

Instead of asking Qs model what she should say, e.g. "I want milk", "I had nice day", "I fell down" (instead of "want some milk? did you have a nice day? Poor you) (this seems odd to begin with, felt like an idiot doing it, but really worked for me!)

riojabotherer · 21/08/2013 16:28

Loopy you rock. Can't wait to try these tips. Hope all is well with you Smile

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 21/08/2013 21:23

Ah thanks riojabotherer, great name by the way, hope some of the things are useful.

turbochildren · 22/08/2013 08:51

Hei Loopy, hope you don't mind I'm copying your tips too!

riojabotherer · 01/09/2013 07:35

Hi all, hope everyone is doing well.

Thought I'd update, as we had an assessment with a private SALT a few days ago. I just couldn't lose any more sleep over all this.

She spent an hour with us observing and discussing his personality and concluded that he is going to speak when he's ready. She thought he might be skipping single words because some children think in concepts, so often don't have the words for what they want to tell you. These are the kids who come out with sentences or complex words out of the blue.

She was pleased with his communication, listening, interaction etc.

We will go back next month to check in, but her advice was to keep going just as we are. I'm happy.

OP posts:
IcedCoffeeQueen · 01/09/2013 09:46

Just came across this thread usually on this forum for ds1 but I posted in behaviour the other day about ds2, he will be 2 next month and can only say mummy, daddy (when going about his business not for us) car, hiya and me. Other than this he makes an 'mmm' sound all the time like he is acknowledging us, he doesn't know any animal noises or sound effects etc. He points although rarely and gets what he wants by crying, hitting himself or us, if he wants juice he bangs his cup off me making an 'mmm' noise
Ds is generally a happy smiley little boy who mimics us all the time, likes fiddling with toys and watching tv or getting into everything! but gets frustrated very easily.
Im starting to worry that im so invested in ds1 who is 7 and awaiting dx that ive taken my eye off ds2, although ds2 is very different than ds1 was at this age the speech thing is starting to concern me.

Will be taking on board all the tips above

riojabotherer · 02/09/2013 15:34

Hi Iced, this continues to be a really useful thread for me, not just for the great advice but also for having a good old rant.

Glad you found it, and hope you find the info as useful as I have!

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 02/09/2013 22:38

Glad it all went ok with the private salt! Did you still put your name down to go on the nhs waiting list?

confusedofengland · 04/09/2013 10:04

Rioja glad things went well with SALT

Hi Iced always nice to meet somebody else in a similar position.

I am pleased to report that I already have NHS SALT appointments through for DS2, to start on Monday for 5 weeks! Considering I only asked for referral at his 2-year check in April, I think that is pretty quick! Also need to badger HV for free nursery sessions.

As for DS himself, I feel he is coming on. He has 2 new words 'Daddy' and 'Na' (no). But, in the last few weeks, he has started pointing at everything in sight/sound, usually saying ah-ah, whether it's a plane or dog etc. He also now points loads when he wants something. He didn't really point at all till about 26 months, preferring to use outstretched hand & then for asking usually, so I'm pleased with this development (although I recognise it is slow to come). He is also 'talking' lots using the right number of syllables & tone of voice, but not words. Eg he will say ah-aah-ah in the same singsong tone I use for 'where are you?' if I ask him to look for somebody. And yesterday, when he wanted me to tickle him, he made the noise I do for 'here I come' again in a silly tone. There are loads more examples like this. I don't know, but this feels positive to me.

The report we got from the SALT said that she feels that as he was late doing everything (crawling 12 months, walking 17.5 months, self-feeding 18 months, clapping/waving 18 months) that she feels he is just a child who is slow to do things, but she wants to carry on seeing him to get more of a feel for who he is & any other issues IYSWIM.

We are currently watching the 'Oxbridge Baby Learn to Talk' dvd before we head out to story & rhyme time at the library. DS is engrossed, even though it is rather babyish! He is making loads of noises, although no words.

I also feel that when DS1 starts school full-time (week after next, he is starting on half days) I will be able to give DS2 a lot more one-to-one attention & this should hopefully help.

Anyway, that's all from me, hope everybody else is doing OK.

ifyourhappyandyouknowitflapyou · 04/09/2013 13:24

My son didn't speak at that age and nobody was ever concerned , my first child so why would I be ? He only started talking recently in the last year he's 4 in January and been referred for an ASD assesment like the others said hopefully he will come on by the time you see them =) x

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