Anxious about toddler speech delay

[riojabotherer]

Hi all

I'm not really sure if I should be as worried as I am about this, but hoping for a little advice.

My son will be 21 months old later this month and isn't yet talking. He babbles lots and makes lots of the right sounds (though I've never heard any hard c sound' but I can't say for sure that I've heard anything aside from the odd 'Ma/Mum/Mama'. What's confusing and really hard to describe, is that he will make a sound like, say, 'Uh-oh' but without opening his mouth, much in the same way as we'd say 'Mmm' in agreement. He'll also imitate what I'm saying sometimes in the same way, a sound with the right intonation, just without speaking. He also makes an expressive sound from the back of his throat that I can make, but not describe. Sort of like saying a 'c' sound with your mouth closed.

He learned to point early and I think he feels he can get everything he wants without talking. He follows fairly complex instructions well and picks stuff up easily. I'd say his understanding is surprisingly good for his age.

Whether or not it helps for context, he walked with help early but didn't want to let go of my hand until he was 16 months. Lack of confidence, I would say. As I recall he was later making sounds than other babies when younger.

I'm awaiting an HV assessment to see how delayed he is. That was long - thanks so much for reading.

Right, inspired by your advice I've left it not a week to call the HV, but a day, and as a result she is coming next Thurs with audiology forms. I guess she wants to take a look at him for herself, though I did warn her he might not be himself with a stranger in his living room.

Working on speaking to him in very simple words and sentences, and have stopped saying 'X, can you say...' Usually when I ask him if he can say a particular word he looks at me and shakes his head as if to say 'No, Mummy, and you know that!' We've also been watching the Baby Oxbridge Learn to Talk DVD, which may be a waste of time, but he's enjoying it. Apart from that I'm trying to forget about it all.

Well done you!

Let us know what you think of the DVD my baby is not a talker at 16 months. Anything is worth a try

My dd has speech delay and if you pm me I'd be happy to send you some tips for stuff to do to help that my speech therapist friend gave me that I typed up, in fact might just cut and paste them here! Dd is three now and doing better but stillmuch behind others of her age.

Loopy yes please, cut and paste away if you don't mind - bet there are loads of us who would benefit.

What's your little girl's story?

Well done riojabotherer.

I'd be interested in the cut and paste too, Loopy!

2boys the DVD is quite good I think - 30 mins long and a bit like Baby Einstein but less American and more focused on words and sounds with a few signs thrown in. I found it on Amazon where there are lots more reviews. Guess it's aimed at younger children really. It makes me feel like we're doing something about the problem while we wait for the professionals. Think Loopy's tips will be fab.

You don't have to Google much before you find loads of info about speech delays and autism. I know there are many worse conditions, but still I find myself trying to find stories where kids were just late catching up. Must stay away from all search engines...

I will post the info on monday, can't find them in my home emails and files but know they're definitely on my work computer!

Think speech / language disorders (without any other conditions) are by far the most common developmental issue.

DD (as far as we know) just has speech delay. She never really babbled and at 2 had hardly any sounds or words, had only started saying "mama" around 21 months (was amazing when she did after waiting so long!). Can now, at nearly 3, communicate OK, even little sentences, good range of words, and she's made great progress, but it can be upsetting seeing other DC her age so much further on with their language, she finds it hard to keep up with them when playing etc, and only a year to go before she starts school .

there's a reassuring thread somewhere in education about DC who had / have speech issues and learning in primary school, some mums of older DC who were OK.

My sons delays are due to dyspraxia so there are other reasons but yes - a delay can be that alone, glue ear, late starter, no reason at all etc.

I went to fab class on speech ' Speak clearly' I think. It was from a private salt and aimed at child care workers

Ah, Loopy, it sounds like she's making great progress! My little chap has also made some good steps over the last few days. Wonder if it's the DVD or me just speaking to him in very simple terms. Really proud of him.

2boys, that class sounds good. I'm off to buy straws this weekend and will appropriate one of the kittens' ping pong balls so we can play at blowing it across a table. Might as well make this fun!

How is everyone doing this week?

Calling Loopytiles - don't forget to post your tips when you get a moment; think we'll all find them really handy.

HV visiting tomorrow. I do hope m'boy pipes up a little bit while she's here!

Hi Rioja, we have 'met' on my thread about my DS2, 28 months, with speech delay.

I hope your DS is doing OK & that your HV visit goes well tomorrow. I invariably find that mine doesn't play ball when we have appointments, but I'm sure yours will be different. Fingers crossed for you.

DS had a second hearing test today. The first one in June found fluid & redness in both ears. This time there is fluid & redness in the left ear, but not the right ear. Audiologist said she couldn't say to what level his hearing is impaired, particularly as he didn't cooperate fully with the tests. So, we have a third test in November. Another wait & see. I am quite fed up with it all tbh, I just want somebody to do something.

OTOH, SALT last week said he wasn't showing pretend play skills, but he has been doing loads of that at home (feeding/kissing dolly etc, using random objects as a phone/hairbrush). He is also mimicking a lot of what we say, but not the words, just the sounds. I think that is positive, but I don't know! Does anybody have any experience of that & what it means?

Good luck again rioja

Hi Confused, and thanks for the good luck.

There is no way mine will play ball, either. In fact, so many of these visits and tests seem to be hit and miss. If they don't feel like pretend playing (and I bet mine wouldn't in unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people), they won't. Toddlers do what they want, when they want! I think if yours is doing all that at home, that's the test passed, but clearly I am no expert...yet!

We've got a lot more mimicry of sounds here lately, too, which I think must be positive. That seems to be the step before speech, in the experience of the other mums I know.

We can be fed up together. Your situation sounds so frustrating. All this 'wait and see' stuff drives me mad, and I'm only just starting out.

Right, the HV came and was actually very helpful (surprise). She didn't fob me off and completed audiology forms to get him in the queue for a hearing test. She watched him going about his business, remarking that she sees nothing to make her think there are any other issues aside from the late speaking. She thought him bright, in that he responds to bribery of the 'eat your veg and you can watch TV' type, but I'm thinking she just doesn't get how much he would do to watch Abney and Teal!

She left loads of notes with good advice to help with speech delays and also detailed guides to the sounds children should make, and when. Later on when I'm on my laptop I'll type some out here in case anyone else can use them, though I guess anyone further down the road with this will have had such info already. One big one is to stop asking questions, so instead of saying 'Where are your shoes' you'd say 'I wonder where your shoes are'. This reduces pressure and apparently most children begin to volunteer more speech as a result.

Mixed feelings really about the visit. The notes are great, but she still said there's no NHS support until he's two, then it could be a long wait. Whoever suggested upthread that private medical insurance doesn't cover this stuff was dead right, so it'll be up to us to finance any treatment if we want to get on with it sooner. I think I will still have him assessed by a speech therapist and see how we go from there.

The HV also said we ought to get out to more toddler groups/classes etc, so we'll up our commitments a bit after the summer hols.

That's great that it was a helpful visit, Rioja and that HV didn't see anything other than talking to be worried about with your DS. I would definitely agree with her on the toddler groups - I have been told that singing in particular is good for language & I can see with my own DS that he is starting to do things through songs eg pointing out body parts (Heads, Shoulders, Knees & Toes), clapping/stamping feet (If you're Happy & you know it), animals (Old McDonald) etc.

It might be worth asking her if there is a speech therapy group in your area? My area set one up earlier this year & I was lucky enough to start going with DS when he was 23 months. It helped by giving me strategies to encourage communication & also because it was a small group (5 DC) with 1-1 HVs/Children's centre workers, so DS got lots of attention (doesn't get as much at home because has an older brother) & I could ask questions.

Hi. I was told when my son was young keep the language simple so from 'oh look it's the red car!' To 'red car' or 'car'

Your ds does need to be on the salt waiting list now really. Ask how long your wait is. Mine is a year here!

Singing classes are good. I take my baby to one and we do the same songs all term. Good repetitive stuff!

I also spoke to the charity iCan - but I'm further ahead than you. I have decided to top up with private salt - but my ds gets dla which is paying for it.

I have lots of info on talking - no idea how to get it on this site thou? Will try to get the speak clearly contact info as they have info packs you can buy which are very good

zzzzz I think I'll call and see if I can get him on the SALT waiting list, then - good point about not waiting until 2 for the list, at least. The no questions thing is interesting, but he'll follow fairly lengthy instructions, so in a way I don't feel I need to do this with him, but anything is worth a shot. It's like he's used to the way we speak to him - comprehension isn't the issue, it's just response. I'm grateful for your directness, thank you.

2boys I'll have a search for that, too. Off now to track down a good therapist in our area.

Grrr - to think I felt quite positive yesterday...Just called the HV team who tell me referrals are not accepted until the child is 2 years 6 months. At least this makes my mind up that I'm going to look for an assessment privately, so at least then a professional speech therapist can tell me the score.

What a pita.

Thanks for listening - sure this won't be my last rant.

Really? That is beyond cr@p! Did she say how long the wait was from there? Do you want the website to find a registered private salt?

If he can follow complex instructions that's really good! My son can still only do tasks one at a time. I guess that looks positive that this just pure speech delay? I hope so!

Private assessment is not cheap! I would phone back your hv for the salt contact number. Phone them directly and ask. Is it correct that he can not join the waiting list until he is 2.5. How long is the waiting list? Then contact a few private salts. When do they think is good age for him to be seen? How long are their waiting lists? Price for assessment and then advice / theropy sessions ( you could just do one theropy and take the given materials and stop there for a while - it doesn't have to be on going).

Sorry lots to think about there. You seem concerned so I think you need to do something. Private does not have to be ongoing - it can just fill a gap while you wait. Again he might be talking his pants off by 2.5! If not you need to have a back up plan.

I am planning to do one assessment and then one therapy session with a private salt. If I think it's with it we will carry on - but maybe once a month or two months. It's so poor we have to talk about private care.

rioja that is very poor! I seem to be among the 'lucky ones' because I raised the question of speech/hearing at DS2's 24 month review (literally a few days after his birthday), and HV referred us for hearing test & speech assessment straight away. That was in April & we have had 2 hearing tests (June & August) & a SALT assessment (August), as well as group SALT in March, even before his 24 month review. I am also about to ring HV to get DS 2-year nursery funding, which SALT said he should have.

2boys gives good advice on who to talk to. Better to get him on every waiting list going, then cancel if you don't need it any more, than see at 2.5 that he still needs help & you have to wait months for it.

Hello, I've been lurking as my 2 1/2 yr old is not talking. It sounds odd you can't go on SALT waiting list. I went to GP when she was just over two and got put on waiting list and here it was 4 months. It is a local rule about the HV referring in that case, as that was not an issue here.
I'd recommend going to your GP and ask to be referred to salt and paediatrician. If waiting is like here, now's the time to do it.