Anxious about toddler speech delay

[riojabotherer]

Hi all

I'm not really sure if I should be as worried as I am about this, but hoping for a little advice.

My son will be 21 months old later this month and isn't yet talking. He babbles lots and makes lots of the right sounds (though I've never heard any hard c sound' but I can't say for sure that I've heard anything aside from the odd 'Ma/Mum/Mama'. What's confusing and really hard to describe, is that he will make a sound like, say, 'Uh-oh' but without opening his mouth, much in the same way as we'd say 'Mmm' in agreement. He'll also imitate what I'm saying sometimes in the same way, a sound with the right intonation, just without speaking. He also makes an expressive sound from the back of his throat that I can make, but not describe. Sort of like saying a 'c' sound with your mouth closed.

He learned to point early and I think he feels he can get everything he wants without talking. He follows fairly complex instructions well and picks stuff up easily. I'd say his understanding is surprisingly good for his age.

Whether or not it helps for context, he walked with help early but didn't want to let go of my hand until he was 16 months. Lack of confidence, I would say. As I recall he was later making sounds than other babies when younger.

I'm awaiting an HV assessment to see how delayed he is. That was long - thanks so much for reading.

Hi turbochildren - welcome to the club! It sounds like I need to self refer, or at least have another chat with the GP. I don't know why there's such reluctance to add a child to a waiting list, it's just a...waiting list.

How long do you expect to be waiting?

Thank you :)
From going to the GP to her first appt it was about 3-4 months. The HV also offered to refer at the 26 month check-up, but as it was already done by the GP she just added a hearing test. (back on waiting list for that one because I had no-one to mind my two loud older boys :)
You son is just shy of 2, which is maybe why they are dawdling, maybe give them a push by saying that you know the waiting lists are long, and you want to have support in place, not be back to square one when he is older and may really be struggling.
Don't let them fob you off as a first time mum, your concerns are totally valid.

zzzzz Your children are very lucky to have you for a mum.

Turbo I keep forgetting about the hearing test part, but really don't think he has a problem there. Even that appointment won't be for a few weeks. 'How long is a piece of string?' was the HV's comment!

Hello; a bit late to the thread! My DD is 2.11 and has some speech delay. She was never a great babbler at all and although was very social, was very un-verbal! She was premature and I knew from reading things that speech delays could be quite common in prems so I started signing with her from around 1 year old which has been invaluable. She just looked a bit blank at it all until 18 months and then gradually started signing back and said & signed her first word just before her second birthday. We plodded on a bit more, slowly accquiring more words (nearly always with signs), finally got to see (multiple) SALT who were all less use than a chocolate tea pot. One was quite useful at assessing her range of sounds a while ago, promised to provide some help and promptly disappeared off the face of the planet never to be heard of again and never appeared to have bothered to type up her notes. Argh! DD loved music and picked up most words/sounds that would stick through songs. She didn't join in but obviously just absorbed everything and at home would use one key word and/or a sign to ask for her favourite, which turned out to be nearly everything! Just recently, she has suddenly exploded in terms of words. She still mainly only uses one word and has a bit of trouble with things with lots of syllables, but has quite a lot of words all of a sudden and they are getting clearer. This week she has started putting the odd word together (this afternoon: "nice bin" whilst draping herself over the bin. Quite batty) which is such a relief to hear.
I'd definitely try and self-refer to SALT. I think they can be either very good or less so, but you'll never know until you get to meet them! Keep pushing. Also, I think some Sure Starts have some SALT provision which can either be drop-in or referred by a Sure Start worker (bribe with chocolate biscuits maybe?).

It is easy to dismiss any concerns when children develop so differently and you can't make comparisons with another child. However, it can never hurt to seek professional advise and I agree, go with your gut.

The route I took when concerned with speech delay, was to request a GP referral to SALT and in the meantime, to rule it out, I requested a hearing test, which proved negative. I then requested a referral to a Developmental Paediatrician, without waiting for the SALT assessment, as it saved time.

A mother's instinct is not to be ignored. It is easy to be persuaded that we worry about nothing and most of the time, that can be the case. However, knowledge is power and you can never have too much of it.

I made a right pain of myself by ringing constantly to speed up the waiting process and, in the end, got a cancellation.

Good luck with it all and be assured, whatever the outcome there is always support out there. x

Rioja, I'm no expert at all, and I so don't want to seem like I'm second guessing anyone whom has seen your DS, but I have to say that I find the suggestions that the HV gave you a bit odd; that you should say 'I wonder where your shoes are" in preference to 'where are your shoes?'
At 24 months, my DD had only a few words. She didn't understand a direct question like 'where are your shoes';so not a chance that she would have responded to 'I wonder where your shoes are'. I can see how this approach might work with some children, but it's not what I would automatically do with a child with language delay. The way my DD acquired language was for me to entirely cut my language down to the most basic level. I would have just said 'shoes' and pointed. Any other words were just background noise to my DD. I'm Not saying for one minute that your DS has ASD, but the most helpful book we used was Hanen 'More than Words' - it is aimed for DC with ASD. The communication techniques are great, and are so helpful for DC that are slow to acquire language, even if they don't have ASD.
That's the another great thing I learned from here; a delay is not a halt.Our DC do make progress, albeit if slower than expected.
I just wish I could find a cure for my insomnia! All the best to you and your DS

Someone may have said it earlier, but a hearing test can be for a range of sounds. I have no concerns for my daughter, because she seem to be able to hear fine. Then someone somewhere pointed out it could be different sort of sounds, I understood it comparabel to colour blindness?
Marchduck, I looked for th Hanen book on Amazon, it was well over £50. (But having written that down, I think now it could be a really good investment.)
Anyone finding their child just annoyed when you are trying to teach them signing? She seem to think, I can get my point across just fine-don't pester me.

turbo I got my copy of Hanen from the local library. When I get a moment I thought I could scan in the relevant bits, so it's on my laptop.

turbo Mine definitely finds all attempts to make him speak or sign quite annoying. It's as if he's trying to tell me that he's ok as he is, thanks. He can make himself understood really easily by pointing and gesturing. I do wonder if he's stubborn and not yet ready to speak, but his sounds are definitely progressing week on week.

marchduck the not asking questions thing came from some notes the HV gave me from a program called Reduce Pressure to Speak (probably some course or other she's been on). I don't think it's going to help in our case because he comprehends instructions like 'X, can you go and get your blue shoes'. Whether he understands the whole thing, or just filters 'where' and 'shoes', I don't know. Might help with children who aren't speaking because they feel under pressure to do so - I guess if parents have constantly been asking 'Can you say xyz', then it would be a good bit of education. I've completely stopped asking stuff like that, because it's met simply with a shake of the head.

Sophj100@ I've never heard of a developmental paediatrician, but I like the sound of it. Another good tip - thank you!

I sound like a loon, but I bought some straws yesterday to try to encourage him to pucker up. When he blows or sucks it's never with pursed lips, so, armchair paediatrician that I am, I wondered if that may be hindering his progress.

zzzzz is dead right about this being a lovely place, and I love that so many MNers are chipping in on this thread. I know I'm finding it invaluable.

The Developmental Paediatrician is a vital resource as their knowledge covers a range of issues and they should spot any delay in any particular part of the child's development. Various tasks & questions, together with your input on how they are at home (as they will always behave differently during assessment), combines to give them a good picture of them as a whole.

Good luck with your investigations - remember, knowledge is not only power but it's a great source of comfort in giving you the control back. x

turbo you can get More Than Words for £35

here

drinking through straws is great. Add in some bubbles, party blowers and a kazoo, all great for oro motor skills!

Thanks choc, will either get it or go to library :)

Ugh, does anyone else sometimes find this all-consuming? The HV told me to step back a bit and relax, but it's so hard to take that advice.

Also, more and more often I think he does say something, but then wonder if it's just that I'm waiting for it. Like today we walked past a lawnmower (sounds random, but he knows the word), he pointed I heard 'lor-mo'...or did I? Aaah!

your HV sounds utterly useless. But you don't need her. just sideline the HV and self refer to SALT.

my HV was just as useless. I completely cut her out and sorted everything via self referral and GP (referal to dev paed).

This post has made me take action. My ds is 22 months and has said a couple of words, but rarely and not consistently. He also doesn't make a lot of sounds and rarely babbles. He does engage beautifully though and follows instructions. Anyway, I have had enough of people telling me to wait and I'm booking a private SALT tomorrow. (I was told it takes 4 months to get an appt. through the nhs and I just don't want to wait that long.)

Clare - a mother's instinct is not to be challenged - trust your feelings and if it all turns out to be nothing, you can still be reassured that you were simply acting in their best interest and for your own peace of mind.

There are good arguments for both sides - yes, children do all develop at different times and at their own pace, however, waiting would not help you and your anxiety. I'm always glad I acted on my instincts, despite being told to wait and see. Good luck x

Here's another very interesting speech delay thread with some great tips from a SALT www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1820426-Worried-about-speech-delay?pg=1

Yes it's all consuming. Some days it is just that but then you also get to stand back at the end.

No one can say how it's going to turn out for any of our kids in truth. But I do not listen to my hv much any more.

For the last four years I have been screaming at anyone that my son wasn't quite right. Hv said he was fine. Now at almost six I find out he has dyspraxia. So he has a disability which effects his body and mind. How much more wrong could she be? She still tells me 'see I told you he was fine!' While is academically at the level if a nursary child and can't hop or balance etc.

My hv is still telling me that my 17 month old baby how neither walks talks, points, pretend play or lifts arms to be picked up is also fine. I can rest easy that I'm just over thinking it. My disabled ( less abled) child is in relatity ok.

Worse case scenario I know but I don't need a nursing degree to see I was right to by pass my hv all those years ago. I am sure if I listened to her I would be in a shock with my son in year one when the school would raised concerns and I was beginning this journey four years to late.

But I really don't trust anyone where my son is concerned. Only I have his best interests at heart.

I had one visit to my HV, when my son was 18 months and voiced my concern at the lack of dialogue but all she had to say was, he is a bit short of the average number of words but don't worry, they all develop at different times. I never went back.

I requested referral from my GP, after extensive research on the internet and had a hearing test, SALT assessment and Developmental Paediatric assessment, all at my bequest. My husband and my in-laws both said not to over-react and wait to see. I didn't.

Go with your gut instinct and tell them what you want done as you know them better than anyone.

Have to agree with everyone else, go with your instinct. We did with our DD when at 8 months she wasn't doing things she should have been doing. She has since been diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay and we have a range of support, including SALT as she doesn't talk yet (or sit or walk or feed herself)
What I would recommend however as the waiting lists can be long is makaton signing, this isn't for deaf children, as it is used in conjunction with speech and it can really help them to both develop their speech and communicate with you whilst it is developing. I have 2yr old twin daughters and started it around 18 months. My one daughter signs superbly now and her speech is brilliant. My other daughter has started using simple signs such as more, and on her 2nd birthday last Saturday was able to "talk" to me by showing me which game she wanted to play and using the more sign.
If you can find a group in your local area it is well worth attending or you can learn it from watching and copying "mr. Tumble" on ceebeebies and through the brilliant dads that singing hands sell where they sing nursery rhymes and sign along with them. Both my girls are addicted!
Good luck!

See dvds not dad's! Oops!