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Original poster

Oh heck - Just lost it big time in Virgin

82 replies

Jimjams · 06/02/2004 15:00

Had a day off today. Ds1 is at nursery and my Mum has ds2, so decided to treat myself to a day in town.

Bought a CD in Virgin. The guy in front of me was returning a CD. He clearly had some problems and when asked to write down his name a address called over someone who was obviously his advocate. He turned and gave me a smile (and I don't mean that in a patronising way- it was a very genuine smile). Anyway I was standing there half thinking that if DS1 does really well then maybe he'll be able to live independently with help blah blah blah- the women behind the till was serving me at the same time.

Anwyay after the man had walked away she shot him a look as if she had trodden in something and said "I can't believe there are so many illiterate people around here"- whilst looking as if he was a piece of "sh". I had finshed paying so I gave her one of my "looks" (as dh would say) and walked off. Got outside thought "f this" and turned round, went back in and asked to speak to a manager. The manager came and I lost it! I mean really lost it- I was so angry* I was shaking and could hardly speak. I think it got to me as it was the thought that if ds1 grows up and can mabage as well as him I would be incredibly proud of him, and the thought that he could be spoken to in that way by a pig ignorant girl in Virgin had me seeing red.

Of course I should have gone away until I'd calmed down and then had words. Or I should have had calm words withthe girl herself. I just lost it. Eidsvold- I have so much admiration for you keeping it together in class that time!

OP posts:
suzywong · 06/02/2004 15:02

You poor thing JIMJAMS
Ignorance must be iradicated at every encounter. I can understand it touched a deep chord in you. Sorry it ruined your day out.

ks · 06/02/2004 15:05

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lou33 · 06/02/2004 15:06

I can understand why you did it though Jimjams, even if in hindsight you think you should have behaved differently. I get the same, and I know it is just a matter of time before I lose it too. Went into town today with dh and ds2, in his Major buggy, and I was getting really fed up by the amount of staring and (imo) disgusted looks we were getting, as if to say he should be walking not being pushed at that age (he's 3 in 2 weeks).

In fact I almost lost it in M&S, when this woman, with a face like she had been sucking lemons, decided she would barge through a 2 feet gap by ds2 with her trolley, instead of going round him on the other side, where she had about 10 feet of free space. It was like he didn't exist, or she was unable to acknowledge him because of her distaste.

Can I bring you along with me next time, just in case?!

Original poster
Jimjams · 06/02/2004 15:10

I can't really remember the conversation or how long I was ranting for. I do know the manager asked me what I wanted her to do and I suggested that she took the girl aside and explain to her that some people are disabled and aren't as lucky as her.

Bumped into a friend of mine with an auti daughter and a disabled brother about 40 mins later so she made me feel better (she said she's done the same in the past).

Then met dh for lunch so that was nice. He suggested I set up in business running anger management classes

OP posts:
katierocket · 06/02/2004 15:16

If I were in your shoes I know I would have done the same thing. I can't even cope when another child pushes DS I feel so protective of him so I totally know where you are coming from. Ignorance is the most horredous thing in the world. Do you think the manager took any notice or was cut from the same cloth as person serving?

expatkat · 06/02/2004 15:22

What you did sounds frankly heroic.

hercules · 06/02/2004 15:24

If I were you I would write to their headoffice. Noone should be working with the public who is that ignorant imo.

tamum · 06/02/2004 15:33

Completely agree with expatkat. I'm really sorry you were so upset, but well done you.

dinosaur · 06/02/2004 15:35

Good for you jimjams. Hope it didn't ruin your day off completely.

Hulababy · 06/02/2004 15:39

Good on you JimJams. I wish I were brave enough to do something like that. I agree - complain in writing too. No way should a counter girl say something like that - especially in front of other customers - appalling!

colette · 06/02/2004 15:49

Well done! Nothing will change if we just accept ignorant and intolerant behaviour.

pie · 06/02/2004 15:51

Good for you Jimjams, I'm thankful that I live in a world where there are people like you

(hope that doesn't sound too odd)

Blu · 06/02/2004 15:55

A company as big as Virgin should incorporate Equality Training in their staff training/development plans. THAT's what the manager should do! Sounds like the manager could do with it too, if she'he really didn't know the answer!
I wish the gvt would do a whole series of Disability Awareness pubilc service broadcasts.

Marina · 06/02/2004 15:56

Does Richard Branson still own the Virgin retail empire? Perhaps writing to him might be worthwhile in that he is a) seemingly quite a good sort of person and b) very image conscious. Sorry it wrecked your day out but glad you didn't let it go.

coppertop · 06/02/2004 15:57

Well done, Jimjams. The assistant's attitude was appalling. I would be tempted to write to head office too, even if only to suggest they give some kind of disability awareness education to their employees.

ks · 06/02/2004 15:58

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Original poster
Jimjams · 06/02/2004 16:23

I have emailed virgin including the girls till operator ID number.

OP posts:
marthamoo · 06/02/2004 16:58

Jimjams - I'm sorry that it made you so upset and angry but I am GLAD that you went back in and complained. If more people did what you did perhaps people would think twice before being so offensive. Good on you, and a large glass of wine is in order tonight

Luckymum · 06/02/2004 17:15

Jimjams.........well done.

Some people's lives are just never touched by disability and as a result they are totally ignorant. I agree that all people who work with the public should have some Disability Awareness training........ or maybe should just open their eyes and be more considerate and less judgemental.

Agy · 06/02/2004 17:18

It was probably best to do it while you were fired up Jimjams. If you'd waited till you were cooled off you might not have been so brave! Well done. People need to learn these things.

charliecat · 06/02/2004 18:43

Well Done Jimjams!

Davros · 06/02/2004 18:53

The UK's top Mother from Hell!! Well done but sorry you had to do something so upsetting on your lovely day off. I've never quite got to that stage but I'm now in training

motherinferior · 06/02/2004 19:29

Thank you, Jimjams.

eidsvold · 06/02/2004 19:30

sorry to hear you were upset but good for you for letting them have it.... Mums and advocates should get ANGRY a whole lot more - perhaps people will realise that it is just pig ignorant and something will be done about it.

I managed to keep it together just Jimjams - had those students read my mind it would have been absolutely blue...... I just had to remember they did not really know better...

Don't worry about cooling off time - things need to be said and that is it!!!!!

So i say - Good onya!!!!

eidsvold · 06/02/2004 19:32

oh and I second writing to Richard Branson.....