Awesome alternative to "Welcome to Holland"

[BeeMom]

A friend on FB shared this... I think it is a whole lot more accurate

Ah, bless your Canadian heart BeeMom, I absolutely detest that 'Welcome to Holland' thing but thought I was the only one!

This on the other hand is inspired, truly brilliant. Thank you so much for posting it!

Mmm.....no reference to how it's the system rather than the child that fucks you up.

I don't yearn for Paris or Holland. I just yearn not to be shafted by those PAID with public money to help.

Canadian, jaded, cynical... yeah - they all fit me

Kinda what IE said.

The only improvements I want in my life is for people whose job it is to help, not to lie to me.

THAT is how low my expectations have become.

I hate the holland thing but I don't much care for this either.
Having a child with disabilities fucks up your life is what it said to me and that's not been my experience

My life HAS been fucked up as a consequence of having a child with a disability. But that has absolutely NOTHING to do with him, and everything to do with living in Hertfordshire.

Yeah. Ain't THAT the truth. How's things now btw?
Over 7 years and I still have a voodoo randall doll!

It really did just read to me like its the kid that ruins everything and like I say, that just doesn't 'speak to me'

However, its better than holland
And at least nobody's mentioning Rainman!!

Perhaps if you view ALL disability as ASD, then it might not sit right.

However, try not to paint all needs with the same brush. When "how will I get the support my child needs at school" is overshadowed by "the time has come to pre-plan my child's funeral" this post takes on a different tone.

The child has not fucked up my life, not by a long shot but the situation itself is just fucked...

Yes. It IS better than Holland though I quite like

if I have to choose one

Things are great thanks Hec. Not perfect, but I'm more than capable of dealing with the difficulties now that I have NO outside agencies featuring in my life (just ds' independent school with all services onsite) and realised that nobody but me can be trusted.

When the HV 'invited' us for baby's 1year developmental check I said 'no thanks'. I don't want people writing things about me/us. I don't want to 'engage', which is a bit of a shame because they seem to have a bit more sense here where I've moved to. It is possible that we would be treated better. Though I do hear moans, I think it is because people don't realise just how much worse things could be.

It's all very strange because now that we are struggling so much less due to ds' better placement (an independent special school), all of a sudden we appear to meet criteria for various things. When he was being failed spectacularly in mainstream and we were falling apart we met the criteria for nothing .

Interesting how people have perceived this piece. I must say i really didn't get 'the kid ruins everything' from it.

For me it perfectly illustrates the bewilderment, the feeling of having been cheated out of the experience you 'paid' for, the desperate search for someone who knows what's going on and the slowly dawning realisation that no-one is coming to rescue you.

And despite all this you begin to notice those sunsets and the intensity of the stars and to me those represent my darling little bluechick.

I'm sorry Better. You are right of course. A totally different league.

Sorry, meant this: www.bbbautism.com/beginners_beirut.htm

How are things in Hotel Hec btw?

I did say my experience and that it doesn't speak to me so I hope it certainly was clear through that choice of words that I was talking about not relating to it on a personal level. I don't believe all disability is asd. My childrens own disabilities are not only asd. I thought we were all just talking about whether it meant more to

Bugger
Us than holland and the like and if we related to it more

Fine thanks, star. Plodding on.

OK... how about this one?

Or maybe this/

Yes Better, you are right. We all, inevitably, read and interpret things through the prism of our own experience.

What speaks to one, won't speak to another. Perhaps, nothing can hooe tk summarise the experience of us all because there is a limit to its shared nature - save perhaps something which told of how ace this board is -

But then there have been detractors!

Beats blood Holland!

IE The detractors are simply misguided nincompoops

One thing, too - "Holland" has evolved into some sort of warped "feel good" pixie dust and faerie farts view of children with disabilities in general... when it was written, Emily Pearl Kingsley was referring to her own journey with a child with Down Syndrome.

I'll go way out on a limb here, but I don't think she intended for it to become what it has...

What I don't like about it, is the way it has been used by those unwilling to fund provision as a way to encourage parents to accept their lot in terms of support and intervention. You ask them how they are going to teach your children to read and write and they say look at you all sad saying 'You just need to look at the tulips!'.

There's a national training certificate that all senco's must complete in the UK - the "Holland" thing has certainly been used in some of those sessions to give budding sencos an insight into what having a disabled dc is like.

Now, I could take it as a positive that at least the training tries to instill some empathy - but to me it glazes over the whole battle/war in the fight for provision, and kind of says to me it will be alright I'm the end..... This of course is not true most disabilities are life long and the battle will never end.
I agree that the author probably didn't intend Holland to take on the persona that it has - I actually think it speaks more to NT parents that have zero clue as to how different our lives are! Which in turns makes me cross, because I don't want a collective "aaaahhhh".
Also with Holland - it makes me militant, every time I read it, I'm practically shouting WHO SAYS I CAN'T GO TO ITALY!! It says to me that my family has to settle for something less.

The alternatives linked are better - but much like my ds dx does not describe him completely, neither do these poems/essays sum up my journey or experience completely. It's someone else's story and that's fine because if there's one thing us SN parents know about its individuality.
The problem with these writings is when they make a break for the NT world and then all of a sudden the masses feel that they fully understand your life - because they've read about one persons story. The generalisation of us and our dc, is what causes most if not all our battles

I'm rambling now ..., also I'm not a senco, have a few friends that are and they asked me had I read Holland .... They probably won't ask that question again

Yes. That poem says 'Parents need to change their perspectives and their expectations for their children'.

Well my expectations for ds are NO different to those for dd. I expect him to achieve his potential.

Beruit for deffo and oftentimes seeing the false oasis of a therapy my child needs but we can't access for whatever reason.

What I hate most about the whole experience is NOT my child's disability but the fact that the innocence of childhood was ripped away from him at far too tender an age by those PAID to help him, and that in fact now in some ways he now possesses the resigned stoicism usually only present in the elderly.