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'This Is My Child': our long-planned campaign on children with additional needs

401 replies

RowanMumsnet · 10/06/2013 12:51

Hello

As some of you will remember, we started this thread a few months back to get your input about a possible campaign around children with additional needs.

The thread was hugely informative - thanks very much to everyone who gave their views. Many of you were asking for a broadly-focused campaign encompassing visible and non-visible disabilities among children, teenagers and adults, and across many platforms (poster advertisements, television campaigns and so on). Much as we'd like to do this sort of thing in an ideal world, realistically we're bound by the resources that are available to us. We've also found, over the years, that campaigns with a very specific focus can do much better than those with more general messages. In addition, we're mindful that many of the big campaigning organisations in this space have already undertaken more general awareness-raising campaigns to do with capacities and needs of people with disabilities, and we try not to re-invent the wheel (although we're always happy to add our voice to such campaigns when asked).

So we've decided to go with an awareness-raising campaign focused on the ways in which caring for a child with additional needs can change a family's life, and the myths about disability that can have negative impacts on such children and their carers. We're going to call it This Is My Child (again, thanks for all the input) as we think it's simple, arresting and suits the aims of the campaign best.

We're going to be addressing myths like:

MYTH: children with behavioural disabilities are just naughty and need a firm hand
MYTH: people in receipt of disability-related payments are likely to be 'scroungers'
MYTH: children with additional needs in mainstream schooling are drawing resources and attention away from other children
MYTH: it's easy to get a Blue Badge and mobility vehicles
MYTH: a non-expert can accurately judge the capacities and potential of a child with additional needs

We're going to be putting up a myth-busting page (similar to our We Believe You myth-buster here) which will be heavily featured across the site and promoted from our social media accounts, hopefully with some mainstream press coverage. We're also going to be featuring guest blogs on the topic and holding an event on Twitter using the hashtag #thisismychild; watch this space for details.

There are a few things we'd really like your help with:

  1. Do let us have suggestions for myths you'd like busted (there's a limit to how many we can do, but it would be great to hear your thoughts).
  2. Do you have any Top Tips for how to deal with situations in which you - particularly as a parent or carer - have been subject to ignorant or hostile responses from members of the public when out and about with your child? We'd love to put together a list of ninja ways to defuse, inform or simply get rid.
  3. To go with the 'This Is My Child' theme, we're asking for MNers who are parents of or carers for children with additional needs to send in pictures of their child, which we will use for a photo gallery on the site. These can be completely anonymous and needn't be linked to your RL or MN name if you'd rather not; the idea is to personalise the issue for members of the public. If you'd be up for doing this, do please send in a digital photo (a roughly 500-pixel-sized image in a jpg, gif or png format) along with a caption (which can be pretty much anything you please: 'This is my child. He's eight and he loves Star Wars' - that sort of thing) to [email protected], with the subject heading 'This Is My Child, FAO Campaigns Team'.

Thanks for reading this far - as ever, do please let us know what you think.

OP posts:
RowanMumsnet · 14/06/2013 09:26

@TapselteerieO

I sent a photo, but I have no idea what size it was, because I copied it from FB onto my ipad then sent it and it didn't tell me a size... Sorry.

I think we have it Tapsel - it's lovely, thank you!

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 14/06/2013 09:35

I can do the photo thing, but not the pixel thing. I have no idea what that means sorry.

RowanMumsnet · 14/06/2013 09:42

@r3dh3d

When you say 500 pixels, do you mean actually 500 pixels? Or 500 x 500 pixels? Because 500 pixels is teeny-tiny.

Right, NancyMumsnet says:

Don't worry too much about exact dimensions. If a picture is 500x600, I don't want people to think 'oh no!

500x500 is a good sort of size for MN but that makes it a perfect square which most photos aren't, which is fine.

So if you can aim at roughly 500x500, or 600x400 (or 400x600 if it's portrait!) - or something in that region - that would be grand.

And if you're not sure what size it is, please do send it in anyway - we might be able to resize it here.

OP posts:
RowanMumsnet · 14/06/2013 09:43

@StarlightMcKenzie

I can do the photo thing, but not the pixel thing. I have no idea what that means sorry.

Please do Starlight - if you're not sure, we'd love you to send it anyway.

OP posts:
buildingmycorestrength · 14/06/2013 10:45

Brilliant campaign. Thank you.

desertgirl · 14/06/2013 13:26

Just a thought, if you are asking people not to say things lots of people do say, it might be a good idea to offer some alternatives as people possibly just don't know what on earth to say? Eg if someone tells you her child has X, is it ok to ask what that means for the child or do you get fed up of explaining? Is it ok just to say 'oh really' and move the conversation on, to avoid saying the wrong thing?

FobblyWoof · 14/06/2013 13:36

I have nothing constructive to add to the campaign other than my support (my brother has a visual disability and is grown up) but wanted to say what a fantastic and well thought out campaign.

StarlightMcKenzie · 14/06/2013 13:50

MNHQ. Just sent a picture. It's the mountain one.

If I told someone of ds' condition I would have considered it necessary for some reason for the person I told to have that information. I wouldn't necessarily want to go into the ins and outs though so until I knew you better and there was a relaxed opportunity to discuss I'd quite like 'Oh, I'm afraid I don't know very much about that. You might have to tell me what to do to help'.

HotheadPaisan · 14/06/2013 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShadeofViolet · 14/06/2013 15:21

Great campaign - have sent a photo, its a school one so hope its okay.

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 14/06/2013 15:25

I like 'care don't stare', looking when you see something/someone you wouldn't usually is fine. Falling over your friend because you can't take your eyes off the baby with the bottle bottom glasses (which by the way are real) will let you know how it feels to be stared and laughed at.

if your small child is asking you questions, I'd rather you asked me or got them to say hello to my child than shush and drag them away.

my dd3 has a visual impairment, I'd rather you didn't say to me 'but she doesn't look blind', I can promise you she is! If you want to say something then 'she moves around really well' is much better and will put a smile on my face Smile

myth, hearing aids give you perfect hearing.
truth, they don't, modern digital hearing aids are great but they only aim to give you access to speech which depending on your hearing loss may or may not be possible. Hearing a single voice in a crowd or any other background noise is tricky as every sound is amplified so facing someone and allowing them to lipread as well will give them a much better chance of understanding you.

Tiggles · 14/06/2013 15:49

Myth: My child does all those things too, it's perfectly normal behaviour (in relation to ADHD/autism etc) - no they don't or they would have a diagnosis too.

zzzzz · 14/06/2013 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlightMcKenzie · 14/06/2013 16:45

That's why I sent in a picture of my ds AND dd together.

I sent an idea for a caption but if MNHQ don't like it a simple:

'These are my children. One of them has needs severe enough to receive higher rate disability allowance.'

As there is no way from the photo you could tell which one it was.

inappropriatelyemployed · 14/06/2013 18:16

I'd like people to know that my child is not a 'SEN child'. He is a bright young boy, who finds socialising with children very tough.

In our overly socially world, this is considered a disability. But that is ok because it means he has RIGHTS.

Let's start having our children treated through the prism of rights not needs. Needs depends on what YOU think he needs - his rights are not yours to take.

Let's start talking of educational rights not needs.

marjproops · 14/06/2013 18:16

Another supporter here and agree with what everyone else has said.

you'd think in this day and age people wuld be better educated/informed but still there are times DC is looked at like a victorian circus freak.

oh and just cos she has legs doesnt mean her legs are robust and perfect.

and yes, fighting like mad for mobility/disability help, especially a blue badge and financial help with the absolutly needed car.

so good campaign and we're all behind you, HQ.

marjproops · 14/06/2013 18:18

and agree with starlight mine gets middle rate but needs higher rate too, and from a photo you wouldnt be able to tell either.

lionheart · 14/06/2013 19:05

Fantastic idea, MN. Flowers

I also like the idea of of posting positive things to say/do.

Myth: Children with additional leads are much more likely to bully other children.

Myth: It doesn't matter how long it takes to get a diagnosis because there is no cure.

marjproops · 14/06/2013 19:32

BTW I hope this campaign goes to number 10 too.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 14/06/2013 20:08

Agree 100% with inappropriatelyemployed over rights, not needs.

Also I thought of something that has been annoying me for AGES.

So many people, when I've told them about bluechick's dx, have said, "Sorry to hear that, blah blah, but she's absolutely gorgeous!"

YES I KNOW SHE'S GORGEOUS. SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN. I'm not worried about her gorgeousness, I'm worried about her cognitive function and whether she'll ever be able to walk, talk, go to the loo herself, function independently and I'm bloody worried over what happens when I'm no longer here to look after her.

So don't tell me stupidly obvious things please. Because believe me, I'm thinking about much more than whether or not she's cute.

FancyPuffin · 14/06/2013 20:32

At a point where you are introducing this campaign MNHQ I am very Angry and disappointed at the response given on the S and B thread (not repeating it here its fucking horrid)

StarlightMcKenzie · 14/06/2013 20:47

Myth: A child with SN is more likely to bully or be aggressive

Fact: A child with SN is more likely to be bullied or suffer aggression.

And sadly we are not talking just from other children.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 14/06/2013 20:57

Myth: If you speak loudly to my child with hearing impairment he'll be able to hear you.

Myth: All children with hearing impairment can be helped by wearing hearing aids.

Myth: Children who use hearing aids have worse hearing than those with a hearing impairment who don't use them.

Myth: Speech and Language Therapy is only for children who can't speak clearly.

My DS's been laughed at in the street for the way he walks. I've been asked if he's drunk, if he really hates school as he's taking so long to get there, and if I've seen a doctor as his legs are so thin. My response, deadpan, is simply 'He is disabled'. Not the most creative or pleasant I know but I find the 'disabled' word packs a harder punch than 'he has special needs'.

I have been offered prayer 'for his healing', to which I replied 'no thanks, he's not sick.' (Then went and cried.)

The equipment I fought for him to use in his classroom has had a direct impact on the achievement of ALL the children in his class, something his teacher thanks me for each parents' meeting.

I'll be back with more. Smile

MissBetseyTrotwood · 14/06/2013 21:04

AND to the school health services, school nurse, dentist etc. Check children's records, please. Before you give them an eye test with instructions they can't understand, like you did with my DS.

We've ended up with two referrals (on top of all our other appointments) since the start of Reception because the school nurse hadn't bothered to check his school record. She gave him a sight test with letters (he couldn't to phonic sounds at the time) that he failed, obviously. Cue pointless referral, which terrified me as sight loss is a potential eventuality for him. I didn't even know who'd referred him until we got to the appointment. Angry

hazeyjane · 14/06/2013 21:09

Myth - that people who complain about words and jokes that mock, insult and demean people with sn are just the professional offended.