Need help

[inappropriatelyemployed]

Need help. DS (Y5) has been out of school for 5 weeks now. The GP signed him off and the EP and school supported this.

I now have a meeting tomorrow with EP, SLT, OT and school to discuss what the plan should be for my son in the immediate term and doubtless for secondary.

He has responded really positively to being out of school and has worked well at home . We have done lots of work on social skills and work around his interests.

So what to do? One big problem is that we haven't located any school which would be definitely be suitable for him at the moment - either for now or secondary. ASD bases are not feasible as they would mean he would have to be in the mainstream of the school most of the time. Other AS specific (and hugely expensive - 60k a year!) provision seems more geared to children with very challenging behaviour and GCSE grades aren't great.

We would move but not to an area more expensive so would have to go west.

It has been suggested that we ask for his provision to be delivered at home in the short term so he still gets his SLt etc but remains on the school roll. And that we ask to get control and ask to instruct a tutor ourselves to work with him

I'm not sure that my arsehole LA will go for that. They are not even going to send anyone to the meeting tomorrow and I suspect they will just suggest he gets the 5 hours a week out of school provision with any old tutor,

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose control of everything and end up with the LA sending just anyone in to start setting work for my son who might not understand AS and who will set him back in terms of confidence etc. and who will intrude in our home.

I don't want to open up a can of worms. Perhaps I should just HE? What do you think? It is hard to get impartial advice. Some people really dislike HE and I know it's not ideal but I disagree with those who say you can't be mum and a teacher etc

It would be good if he got someone decent to work with him but what if LA don't go for that. Meeting tomorrow morning so any advice welcomed.

Thanks. I'm not sure the extent of his needs is understood by some of those I've received advice from. Some people hate HE. So some have suggested an ordinary Indy school who mightn't understand his needs or a base in a big school, when he can't even face going in to his very small primary.

does your area operate an autism outreach supporting children with Autism in MS.
It may be that they can provide the tuition rather than the standard LA homeschool support

Online School + some carefully chosen opportunities for social interaction? He could return to his old school site to access SALT/pe or some lessons too. It would require flexibility on the part of the LA & school but the idea of flexi-schooling is NOT a new concept.

Briteschool cover upper Primary (Year 5 & 6) & I was suprised when I made enquiries to find that approx 3 in 8 of their classes are spectrum kids at that age. He'd suffer no loss academically that way iyswim.

It would give you and the LA time to properly research secondary options and to prepare your child (eg would a series of listening programme therapy better enable him to cope with school noise, some proper 1:1 SALT, ABA programme, or would an intensive OT led sensory programme desentitise him a bit before returning to a school environment?).

I just wonder if the immersive experience of mainstream is setting kids with sensory issues up to fail as they have to cope with the environment, and the academic curriculum, and the social stuff. That's 3 sources of stress whereas NT kids have only the one iyswim. My son wastes a lot of time on nonsensical stuff that matters to GOVE et all (homesexuality, multi-culturalism, trips that cause stress or go over the top of his head etc) while he doesn't get enough time spent on what he actually NEEDS such as his OT programme or reading practice. It's not the fault of his teachers, they are just asked by government to cram so much nonsense into a school day that it leaves no time for what really matters sometimes.

A structured approach like online school might be better than the 1/2 arsed offering home tutoring often provides (go that T shirt and was unimpressed tbh - the tutor provided may have NO asd knowledge at all, which could result in a child getting more alienated). It sounds as if you may have to move to find the right secondary (I know I will!) and this might give you some continuity during that tricky process.

I hate the idea that kids whose very disability means they find change hard are so often the very ones who get "bounced" from institution to institution. It's so unfair, and I cannot for the life of me understand why the ed system hasn't arranged to have an Aspie/ASD school in every LA same way there's always an EBSD school. These kids don't fit the standard special school or mainstream models and it must cost a fortune to fail them as currently happens when you cost it on an LA or national level.

I would HE as well in your situation and very happily doing so with ds1 at the moment, well kind of.
Can you hire private tutors for the academic part and you can focus on life skills etc.

I agree with you re can of worms though. We interviewed some candidates recently for a SN nanny who we could train as and ABA therapist. Their background was mostly working with children with disabilities in a range of settings, MS, SS etc. One think that was a constant was how rigid they were in their thinking. Not exactly what you need when dealing with a child with ASD.

I would see about getting him signed off/home tuition for 5 weeks, taking you up to summer break. This would give you a chance to look around for provision and take the pressure off your DS. It would also take decision making pressure off you.

Then, you can decide if there is a suitable school for him, or whether you need a longer term strategy out of school. You simply can't send him back to the primary at this stage.

Thanks. I just worry that if I just get him signed off they will end up sending some crap tutor round for the next 5 weeks and unpick all that has been done.

Re the tutor - that'd be my concern. Online school is one way of giving the LA reassurance that a child is getting a "proper" education while out of an institution, and perhaps a way of sidestepping any tutor mishaps in the meantime iykwim?

Seriously though if he only has one year left of primary, I'd home ed for 12 months with a view to finding somewhere suitable for year 7 when the choice widens up a bit. I can't see the point of going through year 6 adjusting to a new environment, just to potentially do it all over in year 7 with an Aspie child.

That would give you a full year to look for something that REALLY suits him, rather than as happened to my son once too often - him being just plonked somewhere for the LA's convenience. There are only so many times you can pick up the pieces and knit the child back together methinks. You'd also have time to look at other things like groups/activities that might also help him long term with school.

Not all LA tutors are unsuitable. In my area there is a gap in provision and a lot of DC who are 'medical' but who are not acutely ill have HF ASD/anxiety. DS1's last tutor was absolutely wonderful. DS1 is practically mute with all adults other than his parents (even extended family) but was actually chatty (!) with her.

Sorry lots of typos there in my earlier post. bochead makes a lot of very good points as always.

I like the idea of HE but I don't think I can do it on my own. I am not that brave, I would have to do it with the help of tutors etc, so if the LA are supplying the tutors, do you have a say in who comes to teach. I try to follow star's mantra of 'first do no harm' and it has worked well for us so far. which is why Bochead ideas make so much sense to me.

P.S. I am not saying that all TA's are bad, some of them are very good at adapting, I just don't like the idea that it is a lottery essentially when dealing with LA as to who you get.

Thanks. I would only move schools now if it was a school who could take him through secondary. I wouldn't move for a year and move again.

If I deregistered I could tutor him anyway I wanted presumably.

If I kept him on school roll, but asked to educate him off site, this would need changes to his statement even just for a few weeks. The LA and school then retains supervision for him being educated off site.

If he is off school through illness until summer, they will want to send in a tutor.

Ideally I suppose I'd want to keep him on roll until summer and just keep doing what I am doing but the LA will want to send a tutor (although they haven't done so yet!!).

Is there any major disadvantage to withdrawing him.

I'm getting very dismissive comments about HE as if its a game I will lose if I do that. I suppose if we got some funding to arrange our own tutors that would be ok but I can't see it happening with our LA . They won't even attend a meeting.

I agree, I can't keep putting him back together. A local ASD base was recommended for secondary by someone who'd had experience of the manager who was very helpful in support of a boy placed there who couldn't cope with attending there! What's the point of that?

Could you not argue that he is still acutely traumatised and therefore while normal procedure would be home tutor, it would be better for his mental health to have school work provided by the school for you to complete with him. You would, of course, complete a record sheet of the activities completed and time spent on each....?

I was just wondering that Lougle. Just til summer so it gives us time to think. Not sure how tight the legal obligation is to send a tutor??

Also, they might want to discuss transition. We can't name a school as yet. Is it too late to suggest doing this in the autumn term or to give recommendations of the sort of place he needs?

We are still within the two months for a Tribunal appeal left open from last AR in which DSs provision was said to be appropriate!!

It appears from this that if a child is not in fiull time education for health reasons, the duty is to provide a suitable education but that this will differ depending on the child's needs.

This should start 15 days after the child is first out of school!

Otherwise the council, if not for health reasons, must provide suitable education elsewhere for 23.5 hours

If a child is not sick, the 5 hours minimum does not apply

He is sick - he has acute anxiety relating to his educational environment as a direct result of his needs being overlooked at a recent review

I've pmd you.

IE - the LA have a duty to provide excluded non-medical pupils with f/t education but medical pupils with a minimum of 5 hours. In reality this is a maximum of 5 hours.

The school may be happy to record the absence as authorised but most LAs will not provide a tutor unless the request is accompanied by a consultant letter. My LA want a consultant letter each term. They are hugely underfunded and try to delay allocating a tutor for as long as possible. DS1 was out of school (authorised) from the beginning of September. Consultant report was sent on 25 September but tuition did not start until 12 November.

Has the school provided you with resources/work?

Thanks Lougle - I actually think this is true. This has been allowed to develop to a level where he can't now face school and his mental health is only restored out of school.

Will check the PM streaky

Yes...you could suggest a CAMHS referral and no school until that comes (knowing that such a referral will take at least 18 weeks) then, after 4 or 5 weeks (ie. summer term ending) you could suggest that there has been some improvement, so you can consider school options.

No. The EP suggested DS attend each day to pick something up from his teacher but the GP thought this was barmy - like sending someone signed off from work with stress, back to work to pick up work.

GP has referred to CAMHS already but our paediatrician and GP (and I) all felt this was about anxiety because he was in the wrong place (and so a job for the LA and EP) and not because of some generalised anxiety because he is ok out of school.

I think he has turned school phobic and anything too like school will make him very stressed. We go out alot and use lots of different resources.

That is why I am wondering how much formal education he can cope with at present and how much intrusion into his safe space (home) he wants or needs.

I think it's looking towards home education as being the best option for him at the moment, but you need to work out the best way to administrate it to keep things positive with the relevant authorities. No point in burning bridges.

This thread has been really helpful for me too as my lad is hanging on in school by a thread at the moment.

It's all such a lottery! Some LA tutors would be fantastic and turn the situation around, others awful. You have no idea which you'd get until it's too late. For me at present everything is about reducing risk to an acceptable level in order to get the breathing space to make some sensible long term choices. I'm well aware that parents are often the only ones imagining the child aged 25 and able to think about things longer than the next gov tickbox requirement/week.

I'm well aware that parents are often the only ones imagining the child aged 25 and able to think about things longer than the next gov tickbox requirement/week

Absolutely. For children like ours it can take years for new skills to be developed and we have to start making plans earlier than most. I've lost count of the people who've told me "It's early yet, there's plenty of time" when I know different. Ds is 14 and we're looking at college plans already, not only because the right provision needs to be available for when he makes the transition, but because HE needs to be prepared with the necessary skills (or part thereof) to cope with it when the time comes. Nobody but a parent would realise the importance of that kind of forward-planning, I think .

No. The EP suggested DS attend each day to pick something up from his teacher but the GP thought this was barmy - like sending someone signed off from work with stress, back to work to pick up work.

GP has referred to CAMHS already but our paediatrician and GP (and I) all felt this was about anxiety because he was in the wrong place (and so a job for the LA and EP) and not because of some generalised anxiety because he is ok out of school.

I think he has turned school phobic and anything too like school will make him very stressed. We go out alot and use lots of different resources.

That is why I am wondering how much formal education he can cope with at present and how much intrusion into his safe space (home) he wants or needs.