Diagnosis = help v not labelling HFA

[Confusingsituation]

I'm having a bit of worry about this

DS has been diagnosed as having HFA but he is young and having been able to track down some experts, I have been told the outlook is good.
They sat on the fence for ages but I think they have finally come off the fence because it means help can be put in place.
The flip side is that he has now been labelled. I didn't mind this but some kindly ? relatives have put this worry into my head.
Anyone further down the road than me, can I ask you was it the right thing to do, to have the issue named? Can it ever be harmful??

do YOU think this is a 'flip side'?

TBH, if he has HFA, he has it. It's not a label, it's him. The earlier you can put in interventions, the better his prospects. I have never regretted DS2's DX. As Star often says, see it as a signpost rather than a label, directing you to information and support. and tell relatives to fuck off

I'm with them

I battled for a long time with my son's SENCO to get DS tested for dyslexia. Private school, private report, long family history of dyslexia so absolutely no excuses for it not to be done. The SENCO told me not too because 'she didn't want him to have a label, and she could help him'.

What a lot of beep beep beep! She was no help at all because she then retired - leaving my son without support for another year. And when I did get him tested, it turned out he was the most severe case of dyslexia 2 leading dyslexia EPs had ever seen.

As I said, there is a strong history of dyslexia in my family - with both myself and DD having it. I was labelled too - accept my labels were 'thick' 'stupid' 'not bright' 'mentally retarded' - this was in the 70s. My DD (now grown up) was also labelled 'thick' 'stupid' and 'barbie-doll' - this was only 8 years ago. Once we got our proper labels - dyslexia - the world changed for both of us for the better.

Labels are other people's problems, not yours.

Ds1 was dx'ed with HFA around 9yrs ago.

At primary school it gave him access to help at school with things like social skills and motor skills. It meant that his teachers knew in advance that he might get upset about things that probably wouldn't have bothered other children.

At secondary school it means that his teachers know that his illegible handwriting isn't due to laziness or a lack of care taken, and that his difficulties with group work or PE aren't because he can't be bothered to try.

He's now almost a teenager, and I haven't yet come across a situation where the dx has been even a disadvantage, never mind harmful.

Ds2 was dx'ed with AS around 8 years ago. At the time it was thought that his issues would be relatively minor.

His dx meant that when things deteriorated fairly rapidly, he was able to access the help he needed rather than facing exclusion.

Again, I haven't yet come across a situation where the dx has been a disadvantage.

Both boys know all about their dx, and both were relieved to find out that there was a reason why they had always felt different to other children. Avoiding the dx wouldn't have done them any good.

Agree with all the above, Dd3 was dx'ed with Asd when she was 9 after a 3.5 yr battle. Her "label" has done nothing but help her. She was getting labelled as stroppy and spoilt anyway so having the Asd label helps most people to understand that she has diificulties in many areas.

If he was diabetic, would those relatives regard him as labelled?

Tell them, very politely, even if it's in your head, to please STFU and let you get on with doing what is needed to help make sure that your son doesn't grow up with other labels, such as "the weird kid" or "the guy who is fun to take the piss out of."

Having a name for your Dc's difficulties is not a bad thing. If anything it is easier (or should be!) to get help for a Dc. It makes it a lot easier to explain all those difficulties to others, should you need to, that you couldn't before the Dx. It also gives answers to the Dc with the Dx.

Mumsnet SN board is very pro labels. Personally I hate the HFA/Aspergers labels. They are all about symptoms and tell you nothing about the underlying problems. (I have no personal experience of more severe autistic behaviours.) If your child has some hard-to-put-a-finger-on problems the paediatric system almost inevitably plonks the child on The Spectrum after faffing about with assessments.

The popular notion is that autism is a lifelong condition; however longitudinal studies are now finding that that ain't necessarily so. With good quality early inputs children who display autistic behaviours can go on to make very good progress. If that is the case, then why are we labelling children at such a young age? I find it deeply distasteful, that adult (usually) women are ganging up on little (usually) boys and hanging this massive label on them.

'Professionals' and 'autism experts' use emotional blackmail on parents by implying that your child will only get help if you agree to the 'experts' label. In my experience you can tell them where to shove their labels and still get whatever additional support is going.

What really seems to matter is tackling motor planning and non verbal communication skills. IME you'll get little help with either, as the whole autism industry is centred around the speech/language lobby.

I know that this board prides itself on being supportive, but it then runs the risk that there's no debate or alternative viewpoints. If you are relaxed about your child's label then good for you ? your relatives will come round to your way of thinking.

anxiousmother I find your suggestion that I have ganged up on my boys quite offensive. How dare you They are not going to magically grow out of their autism without appropriate intervention and if they did, then great, the interventions worked and the diagnosis can be removed.

I find it ironic that you "label" yourself as anxious or maybe your username is describing an agenda you have? Oh, I've just found you on twitter. Yes you do.

What's their agenda ourye apart from being rather rude?

anxiousmother.net/tag/child-development/

anxiousmother.net/tag/child-development/

And the twitter account is a single issue account, devoted to being anti-labelling.

All well and good if you have a child who is on the fringes of the spectrum, as I was as a child, before there was such a diagnosis as aspergers. I grew out of my selective mutism in my own time, without a diagnosis or intervention and I received no intervention for my dyspraxia. I am still dyspraxic and now in constant pain because my HMS wasn't diagnosed. But anxiousmother is right. She knows nothing about those children of ours who are much further along the spectrum and she needs to butt out.

Oh my goodness, maybe I should say I was never "accused" of being hypermobile until 18 months ago.

Well flippantly, it could help him get a job one day SAP story.
I think the label can help in predicting future issues, such as the teenage years; and in informing people of ways to talk to him, and things to be aware of; eg. a child being seemingly rude, or needing social stories to explain feelings.

I am interested in this question too, because my DD, 6 has recently been assessed by an Ed Psych who has identified some characteristics typical of Aspergers. The school are giving appropriate support anyway and it has been left with us to decide whether to pursue a full assessment.

My initial reaction was to go ahead but after some thought I am worried that, in the future, people may base their expectations of her on a dx rather than seeing her as a unique individual. What about, say, secondary school staff who have some knowledge of autism but maybe do not understand how it can vary from person to person. Could this cause them to place limits on her? I'm not sure what is the best thing to do.