Great SEN phrases of all time

[MareeyaDolores]

I want a nice list of those statements that rattle around my head, and hopefully someone else will post a reminder of the hall-of-fame quotes I've forgotten. Will add the author and date if I know (and please correct me if need be, or if two people have hatched the same great idea)

#1
Don't waste valuable time assuming competent folk have it all under control. They probably don't.

" you"ll only get funding for 1:1 support from a TA if he's sitting rocking & dribbling"

"its only a bit of autism, we would expect him not to be able to talk and interact" SEN officer in our very first phone call explaining why DS could not possibly have any support at 2.5 as autism was not bad enough for them to be involved "he would need you know a feeding tube or something"

"The trouble with these autistics is..."[SEN Manager trying to do empathy]

"I don't do programmes, I do advice and support, advice can be a phone call or a letter" (autism outreach teacher) - the moment in the tribunal we knew we had won given Statement issued 12 months earlier had required her to provide 'structured intensive programmes' [Agnes resisted urge to punch the air by sitting on her hands at this point]

"Have you thought about the Montessori nursery down the road?" SENCO at nursery where DS had been on list for 2 years when showing me the newly merged foundation stage open plan class of 60 and me remarking it would perhaps be a bit noisy / busy and perhaps could have thought of impact on children with autism before knocking all the walls down

"Take a few days, cry, moan, scream - do whatever you need to for a little while, a very little while, then roll up your sleeves and get back to work" / "Don't believe that nothing you do will make a difference, everything you do will make a difference" quotes from the first book on autism I read which gave me hope instead of making me feel worse.

'1:1 support creates dependency'

Only if the class teacher ignores the child and the 1:1 is shite.

"I am very concerned ..." from Mr B *** B of CAMHS repeated at regular intervals during a 30 minute telephone conversation. Well, actually so are we which is why we would like you to actually produce the report you have promised us for the past three months, give us some help or refer us to somebody who can.

"DC does have very complex needs" yeah? really? now tell me something I don't know.

And "you will be unlikely to get full-time 1:1 supervision in any setting" - by the SEN LEA. ooh guess what DC got less than a month later.

zzzzz I think it's code for "more than one dx"

It's often followed by "which dx would you like us to prioritise?" Or "we can't deal with x diagnosis before y diagnosis is dealt with" and "x dx is causing the problems not y dx" also known as pass the buck

"We only issue statements to children who are still on P levels at secondary school"

"Why do you want to label your child?"

That's why ds has only one dx, depsite agreement that he is 'complex'.

We could probably clock up a few more, but I wanted to keep from buck-passing and murky waters. ASD is sufficiently 'abstract' to hook anything onto it tbh, and generic provision is all you get regardless.

This wasn't a strategy I started from the outset but it appeared that others wanted to give him other problems in order to hand him over to 'other' departments, and whilst I agree that he probably does have them, i don't agree that 'other' departments are any better equiped than those who were trying to pass him on. Grrrrr

The SN 'Industry' - Moondog

'Oh fuck, good luck, the system is stacked against you', Colleage who was a Consultant Educational Professional with SN remit. It was like a breath of fresh air to hear such honesty.

I subsequently had years of 'there are no politics here'. 'We all want what is best for ds'. 'That isn't a service we offer',

Autism Advisory Teacher (not very bright) in reply to my question:

'Are you saying he can't make the progress I expect because he is not capable, or because you are not capable?'

AAT 'Both'

That's a common trick of the how many angels can dance on a pinhead type.
Do lots of intelligent looking frowning and sucking on pens in meetings, then refer on for 'further assessment'. After this, ensure yet more time is wasted by producing report after report stating the bleeding obvious
'James is a 4 year old boy who lives with his parents and his two younger siblings' blah blah blah. I'm sure you all have copy after copy of this stuff.

Then spend more time discussing diagnosis.
Voila! At least a year wasted.

All this time of cours,e it never occurs to these pen suckers to invite the people who really matter, those classroom assistants who spend hours every day with your child to any of these meetings. Heaven forbid also that contents and implications of any report are explained to them.

There is the house of cards in all its glory. Vague report after vague report vaguely telling other vague people vaguely what to do. |Oh and then hoping that after you've written it, everyone will piss off and leave you alone to write up the next vague report.

Moondog, I think you have just given the SEN industry a strap line to put proudly on its letterhead and on a plaque outside its HQ:

"Vague report after vague report vaguely telling other vague people vaguely what to do"

Perhaps on their website they might précis it as

"Proud to be vague"

No.

It would have to be 'Proud to be vague because we care'.

Hehe , like Monsters

"We're vague because we care"

Monsters inc

Is that a real quote then?

It does fit with everything we've ever had.

'We care very deeply that he doesn't have time out of lessons for SALT as he needs to spend as much time with peers as possible'

'He won't learn social skills in the playground if he has a 1:1 following him around, poor thing'.

'We can't take data because it is more important that we spend that time supporting him'

'He gets very tired in the afternoons so we feel he needs to go home and rest'.

'He needs to sit on a green spot so that he can be independent from adult direction at carpet time'

'He hasn't made any progress in the SALT group because he was the model for the other children, which we did for his confidence'.

"We're can't assess DCs speech and language levels because DC isn't at that stage yet" -S&LT

"DC is making progress in their speech and language, so we won't DX a disorder yet," but will say that "DC is approximately 3 years behind peers, but is appropriate in their S&L development for the stage that they are at" S&LT

'We can't measure the impact of our new NAS-endorsed intervention because you can't measure social skills. We will measure it with feedback from parents'

'Piaget has been disproved' LA EP when trying to make some point that I never quite grasped.

SEN education officer at meeting to discuss proposed statement, "he's having difficulties because of his AS. You can access support through CAHMS.

Same SEN education officer to a friend, "your son has been refused a statutory assessment as his difficulties are due to him not attending". Said son has AS, high anxiety and was being bullied.

'We only accept Special Children' slogan of a local Special School.