So frazzed, worn down, tired, exhausted tonight after the bedtime routine

[Thomcat]

Need to offload.

I can't do this f'ing bedtime routine thing for very much longer.

Everytime I ask DD1 to do anything I have a battle on my hands. Come and have tea, no mummy no tea. Come and have a bath, no bath. Come and have a cuddle and a story, no, mummy, no. I get her in the bath and it's a war to wash her hair, a fight to wash her body, an argument over the teeth. Once she's decided she's doing it, brushing her teeth for example, she's delightful, funny, sweet, cute etc and we have a lovely few moments, until the next request from me. The defiance, the exerting her will, the still ever so slightly flicking of the bath water when she's been asked 12 times no more splashing, it's the huge pause between each stair as I've finally got her to start up to bed.

Then I read her a story, stroke her hair, kiss her a thousand times, talk about her day and talk about tomorrow, explain i'm going to bed and that she has to close her eyes and sleep and she's suddenly decided of late that she'll start to cry, and not stop, until she's in such a state that I'm in pieces over it.

Meanwhile theres a 5 month old that needs to be fed and put to bed who I'm pretty much ignoring while I try to deal with dd1.

I'm more tired than usual, obviouisly, but jesus she's just such hard work.

TC, nothing useful to suggest at all, but I really do hope Lottie is a little more chilled tonight. At least you know it is normal to feel full of fury and violence! I used to feel that I would fling DS down the stairs sometimes . But then it dawned on me that I had a v low level of depression...not PND exactly, but my GP said it would have been caused by the general hormonal chaos of pg etc. If you're brooding and doomy and feel v critical all the time, you might have a teeny tiny bit of depression? It doesn't sound as if you have, and I'm certainly not saying that every woman who feels rage at their child has depression (because so many of us do!!), but it is always wortth checking off the list.

PECS is a bit more complicated than that, you can get piucs from the internet but they're next to useless unless you know what you are doing with them.

How's Lottie's speech? I know you use Makaton, PECS can be useful as well. It can really help with behaviour and learning as well.

If you want to go down the PECS route I'd recommend getting proper training. The pyramid courses are very good. It was devloped for autism but is used very successfully with people with DS as well.

\link{http://www.pecs.org.uk/\pyramid (people who invented the system)in the UK)}

Thomcat -haven't read the whole thread but DH has just left for the airport and I will be putting 4 of them to bed in a bit - no chance that this will happen without someone crying and someone shouting. Came to mn thinking I could cry (basically feeling sorry for self and the work involved) I will have a glass of wine waiting afterwards - and will take the easiest options all along the line for the next few nights.
You have my sympathy - you're not alone!

do you still get support of your mum and in-laws?

incidently I live abroad and am on a 5 hour time difference - I don't put my kids to bed really late

Thanks for that link Jimjams, I'll look into it, it's much appreciated.

Guess what though........ she went to bed like a dream! School said she was really tired as she walked down the lane to the park and back and then when she came home we stayed out in the garden so think the sunshine did it's work. I read her 2 stories, stroked her head and told her to close her eyes. She tried to say mummy but I just repeated close your eyes and left, with her still awake and I didn't hear another peep, not even anothe r 'mummieeeeeee'. I think she was too tired to try and she probably didn't want a repeat of last night either. Could this be the cycle broken?????? Oh I do hope so.

It seems everytime I post my problems on mumsnet they are solved the next day! Come on!!!!!!!!!!

ps - apronstrings - hope it all goes okay for you.

Phew.
I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief for you, TC, and hope this is sorted for good now.

WELL DONE!

TC I've only just seen this - am really hoping that this will be the start of a much better cycle - all the best mate.

Thanks a lot, and lol Christie
It went ok again tonight but then she did fall asleep sometime during story no.2. main things is no tears from either of us, calm house, thank you god. hope that goes for all you lot as well.

agree with all the others -- two at bedtime is fecking tough sometimes, we have a 4.5 yr old and a 1 yr old, and our dd1 is still pretty jealous of dd2 - she just cannot help it, so bathtime, story etc is demanding and sometimes really bloody awful.
You are human thomcat - you are doing your best. Also agree with jimjams that summer is worse, cos it is still light and we don't have GF blackout blinds!!
there are many others in the same boat, take comfort from that.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Glad things are better for you, TC.
I know how draining it can be to battle with your toddler, as DS2 is a real nightmare atm!
Fingers crossed that your stress free bedtime routine continues!