I know my son's SENCO is not being helpful, but is she actually not doing her job or is this normal? In other words are my expectations too high?
Briefly, DS is in year 6. His job share class teacher is also the SENCO. She has been getting at him generally about everything but particularly about the speed and quality of his handwriting since September.
It all came to a head last month and I sought a meeting with her. I'm not the first parent who has complained about her this year, but I think I am the first who got somewhere but it was only because I was very willing to bring a formal complaint and she knew it. So when we met, she was sweetness and light and we managed to have a constructive conversation. Since our meeting in Feb she has been nice to DS and there have been no more sarky comments. In fact she's improved her behaviour with the whole class, so it was definitely worth doing.
However, when I met her it was apparent that DS does have a problem with his handwriting and that it was holding him back generally because he can't write fast enough to complete exam papers etc. Otherwise everything is good, and he's doing well at school in everything that doesn't have lots of writing (eg maths and the SPaG tests).
So, I arranged for DS to see a private handwriting tutor and the tutor (who is a SENCO too), says that DS has dysgraphia. Suddenly, everything is falling into place.
Realistically, with only a few months left , I wasn't expecting the school to do much, if anything. So, I sent a letter into school saying what was suspected just to have it on DS's file and I even said in it that I am not asking the school to do anything.
Then it was parent's night. I waked into the room expecting a quick general, fake-friendly chat and I walked out furious! The SENCO started the meeting by telling me that DS is doing "so well" that she wouldn't dream of helping him with his dysgraphia. I reminded her that I'm not asking for her help as its too late, particularly for applying for extra time in the SATS. However, she kept on being aggressive, condescending and arrogant (a lovely combination).
Last month the teacher's view was that DS's mock exam performance was not nearly good enough due to his slow handwriting and she was writing DS acid notes to him about it, but this month, she says that I am wrong to question this at all because he's at expected levels for the writing tasks, well above them for everything else and that means he's doing well across the board. According to her, he'd have to be failing really badly before she'd do anything to help.
I went into the meeting expecting a quick 10 mins of nothingness and I walked out seriously irritated and contemplating paying for a full educational assessment for DS just so that I could use it to stuff it down her throat make a formal complaint about the teacher's failings. Even mild-mannered DH was appalled at the way she spoke to us (however it does confirm that DS wasn't exaggerating).
But is she (technically) right i.e. no school would do anything to help a child with a disability unless the child was a long way below national expectations?
(Sorry its long after all)