SENCO

[lisson]

I know my son's SENCO is not being helpful, but is she actually not doing her job or is this normal? In other words are my expectations too high?

Briefly, DS is in year 6. His job share class teacher is also the SENCO. She has been getting at him generally about everything but particularly about the speed and quality of his handwriting since September.
It all came to a head last month and I sought a meeting with her. I'm not the first parent who has complained about her this year, but I think I am the first who got somewhere but it was only because I was very willing to bring a formal complaint and she knew it. So when we met, she was sweetness and light and we managed to have a constructive conversation. Since our meeting in Feb she has been nice to DS and there have been no more sarky comments. In fact she's improved her behaviour with the whole class, so it was definitely worth doing.
However, when I met her it was apparent that DS does have a problem with his handwriting and that it was holding him back generally because he can't write fast enough to complete exam papers etc. Otherwise everything is good, and he's doing well at school in everything that doesn't have lots of writing (eg maths and the SPaG tests).
So, I arranged for DS to see a private handwriting tutor and the tutor (who is a SENCO too), says that DS has dysgraphia. Suddenly, everything is falling into place.
Realistically, with only a few months left , I wasn't expecting the school to do much, if anything. So, I sent a letter into school saying what was suspected just to have it on DS's file and I even said in it that I am not asking the school to do anything.
Then it was parent's night. I waked into the room expecting a quick general, fake-friendly chat and I walked out furious! The SENCO started the meeting by telling me that DS is doing "so well" that she wouldn't dream of helping him with his dysgraphia. I reminded her that I'm not asking for her help as its too late, particularly for applying for extra time in the SATS. However, she kept on being aggressive, condescending and arrogant (a lovely combination).
Last month the teacher's view was that DS's mock exam performance was not nearly good enough due to his slow handwriting and she was writing DS acid notes to him about it, but this month, she says that I am wrong to question this at all because he's at expected levels for the writing tasks, well above them for everything else and that means he's doing well across the board. According to her, he'd have to be failing really badly before she'd do anything to help.
I went into the meeting expecting a quick 10 mins of nothingness and I walked out seriously irritated and contemplating paying for a full educational assessment for DS just so that I could use it to stuff it down her throat make a formal complaint about the teacher's failings. Even mild-mannered DH was appalled at the way she spoke to us (however it does confirm that DS wasn't exaggerating).

But is she (technically) right i.e. no school would do anything to help a child with a disability unless the child was a long way below national expectations?

(Sorry its long after all)

I think Nessy Fingers comes highly recommended lisson, Typing Instructor is just the one we used and I have recommended it a few times, so that's probably why you've seen it around the boards.

Thanks.

Getting to grips with all this is really hard, isn't it? All the reports, conditions, acronyms and bureaucracy. It seems like the state sector don't help much but they will not work with the private sector so that you can supplement, whereas you get fabulous help from the private sector but everything is mega-expensive!

Thank goodness for this board on MN and the doctor today... clear explanations and good advice!

You're welcome.

Yes it is really hard, but it does become clearer. I was totally new to all this three years ago, ds1 was undiagnosed and having a breakdown and I didn't have a clue what to do about it.

MNSN was - and continues to be - my salvation and I'm 100% sure ds1 wouldn't still be in school and would have serious mental health issues if it hadn't been for the advice and support of many people on here over the past few years.

Keep posting, asking questions and do ask for recommendations on here as well if you are thinking of going the private route as yes, some private sector professionals are fab, but like most things, they are not all created equal.

A real breakdown?? Poor him and poor you! That's heartbreaking.

One thing I am wondering about is writing slopes. The doctor today said he thought the Occupational Physio may well recommend one, but how does that work at secondary school? Aren't they quite big to carry from classroom to classroom all day every day?

or are we just talking about leaning on a closed ring binder?

Yep, according to Ed Psych (brought in the LEA Ed Psych myself via the crisis line as school refused to do anything) he was basically cracking up under the pressure of leaving infants and joining the juniors - despite it only being a classroom move in his school.

It was a horrible, heartbreaking time, but the Ed Psych he worked with was great and really helped, then by getting a diagnosis we were able to educate ourselves, fight for support and talk him through his struggles. Things are by no means easy still, but at least we - and he, now understand why and can keep an open dialogue with each other so that we can try to work through problems as they arise.

What scares me is that recently we are seeing more and more of the anxiety, stress and distress that we recognise from back in year 3, but this time it's to do with secondary transition and we have less control over that, as it's down to the LEA - who are already a month late in naming a school on his statement.

Our OT told us to go to IKEA and get a laptop slope for ds2 (he has hypermobility) as apparently they are exactly the right angle, but much cheaper than a writing slope.

We haven't managed to get there yet though.

I would imagine they are a bit of a pain if you have to move class regularly, as in secondary, although if they are a similar size to an A4 binder they should fit in a school bag ok.

I presume the OT was recommending this one but I can't get my head around how it would work with the lip at the bottom of the slope.

Perhaps I need to go and try one out in store.

Moosemama - your son is in current year 6 now and moving on to secondary school this Summer? I hear a lot of Ds's classmates worrying about moving up. Somehow they cannot imagine how it will be - they just can't get their heads round being streamed into different classes or changing rooms at the sound of a bell. Some of them are also worried about being very small in a very big school with lots of full-grown people who aren't teachers but no 5 year olds to look down on.
Obviously, they will all be fine and most of these worries will fade within a week and disappear completely by the October half-term.

However, your son clearly needs to be very well-supported in the transition and for it to be achieved as gently as possible. But it sounds like your LEA aren't interested. There is a chance though that they will find him a school that does care though, and after that moment, what the LEA thinks will be irrelevant to you. I will keep my fingers crossed for your DS that you hear good news soon.

PS I agree about the lip thing on the ikea laptop support.

Maybe what they need is something like a laptop support but with a cushioned pad at the bottom, like the thing that people with RSI have for using a keyboard?

Yep, he is year 6, so starting Secondary in September.

I told him last night that the way he is feeling about leaving and going to a new school is actually very neurotypical and that everyone feels like that, even if they don't show it. I told him that every single adult he knows has been through it at the same age and understands how he feels and we are all here to support him through it.

He wanted to go to the local school with his friends and in particular his best friend and they gave us the impression when we visited that they would have no problem with that and be able to meet his needs. Unfortunately the school became an academy last year and they responded by refusing to take any children with statements for the 2013 intake. LEA said in doing so they had rendered those children unsuitable for any mainstream placement in the borough, as all school in the area have almost identical provision - there are only 2 out of over 20 schools in our area that aren't academies.

Fortunately we discovered they often place children with similar problems to ds in a fantastic out of area independent mainstream with a specialist interest in children with AS. The Head of the school absolutely loved him when he interviewed him and offered a place on the spot, but we have to wait while the LEA wrangle over what funding band they will agree to pay for him to attend and if they can't agree then he can't go.

Unfortunately, the LEA Officer had told us it wouldn't be a problem for him to go there, then having done so well at the interview and been told he had a place he is convinced that's where he's going. It will break his heart if he doesn't get to go there - not to mention there simply isn't another option for him, so I will have to pull him out of the system all together and homeschool, which he really doesn't want. He wants to go to a mainstream school and have friends, just like any other boy his age.

Panel met yesterday to decide if they will meet the funding band, but no-one is available to tell us the outcome until tomorrow. I have been on pins since Tuesday night waiting to find out.

I will let you know if I manage to go and try out the IKEA slope anytime soon.

I tried DS on a series of ring binders yesterday and he said that the empty one made a big difference to his comfort when writing (it maybe made the tiniest improvement to the handwriting). So, writing on a sloped surface does help, though I have no idea why!

The only problem with leaning on a ring binder is that you have to turn them sideways and then A4 paper starts hanging off the edge.