Children starting secondary in September 2013; support & hand-holding, tips and advice...

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

This is a thread for those of us with children who are starting secondary in September 2013; nerve-racking enough even when a child doesn't have SEN.

Hopefully we can give each other support and encouragement.

It would also be great to get some advice and tips from parents who have already seen children through this; what do you wish you had known etc?

With DS2's tie, he can now tie it if I put a peg on it for a third hand!

doitthisway, neither of my boys can do their shoelaces. (Ds1 has AS, fine motor issues and hypotonia, ds2, who is nearly 9, has hypermobility and has some AS and dyspraxic traits, but nothing dx-able).

The OT recommended either using elasticated laces with lace locks or practising by knotting two different coloured laces together and threading them into a boot/shoe. Apparently it really helps them to get their head around which half of the lace goes where and which loop is which - especially if they have spatial/proprioceptive problems. We've tried everything else, so that's our next plan.

Oh - just noticed Ellen has linked you to lock-laces, already. We found some cheaper versions the other week when I was after velcro hiking boots for ds2's outward bound residential in a few weeks' time. I'll see if I can find the thread.

I'm thinking we need to call an AR asap, as ds's statement was only finalised literally as the schools broke up for the summer holidays last year and the school initally agreed to a Feb AR as soon as the secondary is named in order to carefully plan transition. It's actually written into his statement that his transition needs to be carefully planned and handled extremely sensitively.

Does anyone know if it's standard for the new school to attend the transitional AR?

My recent thread about velcro hiking boots. Page 2 has some great links for alternatives to velcro.

Moose, my DS's secondary school attended the y5 and Y6 reviews.

Thanks Ellen. I thought they probably would.

Dh had a phone message from the LA today and they said they can't say a definitive yes, but they've had a very positive email from the school and it's now really just a case of waiting for the official paperwork to arrive from them via the post.

DD struggled with a tie at first. We perfected the method of me tying it for her, and her loosening it just enough to slip over her head for PE.

(DD has dyspraxia + hypermobility + lots of other things)

About halfway through Y9 (after daily practice, she had a go before I tied it for her), she learnt to do it herself.

Then the school go and change to a fucking clip on tie at the start of this year (Y10 for DD), just as she had stopped having her daily meltdown over having to wear a tie at all.

Cold metal clip on neck + Autism related sensory issues = meltdown central. This week is the first week she has managed to not meltdown over it.

Bah! Bloody ties.

Oh - and DD finally learnt to tie her shoelaces (after daily practice at home from age 3yo, monthly practice at her OT sessions from age 4yo, and weekly practice at school from 6yo) at age 12y10m.

I was so proud I posted a thread on MNSN!!

9yo DS2 still is nowhere near able to do his laces up. I know now that it will come in time.

My Dbro (same issues, Aspergers, dyspraxia + Hypermobility syndrome + a few others) learnt to tie his own shoelaces at...21yo.

But he can now do it!

He could clone a flipping bacteria (Uni scientist), yet couldn't tie his own laces.

They all get there in the end!

LOL Ellen, thanks for that suggestion, I don't mind those sort because they're helpful :o.

If only the tie problem were so easy to solve. When we put down his preferred school, the uniform didn't include a tie, this is a recent change! He won't wear his scout scarf (have tried through beavers, cubs etc, nothing works), so a school tie is going to prove a challenge!

Mary ... What is it about the tie? Is it Tightness ? The thought of having it around his neck ?Or something else?
Just asking coz usually if I can work that bit out , I can come up with something.
Will it be clip on? Or a proper tie?

Its stuff round his neck. He wears polo shirts and v-necked jumpers at the moment, he won't even wear round necked jumpers/sweaters. Not sure on ties yet as we haven't been told. He also hates things being pinned to him or stuck on him.

And thanks :)

Wow the elastic laces look fab , may well certainly have to invest in some of those.

Tonight's the night! How nervous is everyone? I'm on edge!

Good luck those of you waiting on placements tonight/tomorrow.

Dh has spoken to our statementing officer today and apparently the current situation is that they are waiting for the official slip agreeing to be named to arrive in the post. The school will also name the support band they feel ds requires and then the LA will either agree or attempt to negotiate funding. Once that's done they will amend the statement to include the school's name and send it to us.

So, she has told us to call us again if we haven't heard anything in a week.

Feeling kind of flat now, facing the reality that it still has the chance to fall flat, especially as ds is convinced he's definitely going there.

The only thing is that dh said the SO sounded pretty confident that it was all going to plan and didn't ask what school we would like in the event of it falling through - so I'm holding onto that for the moment.

My NT (ish) DS3 gets his secondary place tonight, so can I join in from a non SN point of view?

He wants to go to the same lovely, inclusive comp/academy that DS1 and DS2 (with ASD) go to, but no sibling policy and we're out of catchment. He has got a grammar place about 9 miles away as a fall back, but none of us want that, really. Was wondering if I could use the fact he's a young carer for DS2 in an appeal? It would certainly make life easier all around if DS2 had someone on the bus with him once DS1 leaves.

Whoo hoo! DS3 got his 1st choice comp with his brothers.

Just logged on and Dd got her 1st choice only choice. Found out yesterday that they are going to request educational psychologist input as they are concerned she is at risk of school refusal. Sort of happy and anxious at same time.

We got our first choice as well. Now all I have to think about are the practicalities of the situation come September. Lots to think about, but am positive about the school.

Still waiting for the email

I checked on our LA's online admissions system, info was out at midnight, emails still coming through in dribs and drabs. There seem to be quite different systems in different areas. Good luck!

I checked earlier and you couldn't check online. Now you can... but for some reason the password isn't working (might be misremembered), but i've requested a password reset, and that isn't coming through either :(

I just want to know for sure!!!!!

Yay, got first choice! :o

Brilliant, MaryBS!

Ooo lovely to hear all this good news. Congratulations everyone!