What, if anything, should I say to this primary SENCO?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

She works on Saturdays at local shop so I have got to know her over a few months. Not very well, but enough to know that she is a senco, and for her to know that ds attends a special school. She has never seen ds though.

In one of our chit chat non-conversations, she asked how ds was and then mentioned that in her school there is a child with ASD in reception who was non-verbal. She looked genuinely stressed about the topic as she explained that the parents aren't taking the hint that he should be taken out of that school and put into a special school. She said that the school would really support them with that move, and spoke about how it was impossible to teach the rest of the class with that child being so disruptive.

Now this is the first time I have heard the 'other side' from a genuine and honest stance. I don't have any sympathy at all. I think the school should get the child a statement with ABA written in it, a competent TA and continue to support him.

I'm so angry about this I can't go in the shop again. I do however realise that this SENCO may well be as crap as she sounds, but is quite representative, and it isn't her support she doesn't know what the right thing to do is.

WWYD?

btw, I don't know which school she works at and she hasn't told me, and I don't have any details about the child or family.

L

L

Ash that should say undiagnosed not undisguised!

I think the feeling in schools for more severe kids is, "what t f is the point of this kid learning to write: he will never gt a job, or need to fill out a form. His full-time carers will always do that stuff for him".

See, I was not willing to predict that future for hm so definitively at age 5.

I have seen how amazingly my DSd progressed. And I am a big big optimist by nature!

Ash should be Aagh. !!

'They jump off academia and onto "life skills" too quickly imho. And I know that's not the case at schools which cater for hf kids, but think it may be so for many schools below that.'

I feel the same about ds' school, though I also feel that their low academic expectations of DS are higher than they were for him than in his last ms school but that is because no-one was competent enough to engage him and blamed HIM for that.

There is such a variance with attitude in all schools though. In the same LEA you can have 'can-do/will-do' MS and 'can't be a**ed' MS. You can have 'one size fits all' SS and you can have 'individualised' SS.
What I was trying to say is that we would all expect and fight for what we believed to be right for out DCs.
My DS1 is MS - but I had to move him to get to the right MS. A friend whose DS went to SS primary, had to fight to get him the right SS secondary.
It breaks my heart when I see DCs that, for whatever reasons, accept sub standard because they are told that that is what can be done.
But there are parents that refuse to accept that their DC may need support above and beyond MS (My SIL included in this ) , or that another MS might have better provision.
I would say the same re-NT children too. A child's happiness is more important than the location of the school (secondary school angst coming through here - sorry!)

Oh that is a shame Star - I thought your school might be an honourable exception.

Auntevil speaks sense - there has been the same disparity of expectations when choosing schools for my NF child. And mums (like me) who want to push their children are seen as "tiger mums" and denying ther kids a lovely childhood

Mine have a Lovely childhood I hope, and lots of the time I am a totally lazy mum and just bung the telly on

By I do also have high expectations and want both of them to work hard - it's a tough world out there

I think the difficulty, for me anyway, lies on identifying what is the right thing to fight for. I probably have an idealised view of how things should be, instead of how things actually are. Whilst one part of me wants to fight for how things should be, the realist in me recognises that is probably the harder road to go down. It's such an individual thing and I guess all our decisions are based on what is actually available. I am really l

... Looking forward to looking at other schools though to get a picture of what is out there. I'm ready to fight the fight, just need to make sure it's the right one!

In my ideal world, there would be more ABa units attached to mainstream schools. And gong into SN teaching would be seen as an evn higher calling than normal teaching, and paid better. After all, it is a piece of piss to teach my clever NF dd maths, French etc; the real teaching skill lies in understanding the twists, turns and deficits of my boy's autistic and LD brain, and yet still teaching him the three Rs.

At the moment, SN teaching is definitely seen as the poor relation. I have been told, verbatim, by a major SN flagship head in London, that she doesn't ask for any qualifications at all in her staff "except that they love the kids".

"At the moment, SN teaching is definitely seen as the poor relation. I have been told, verbatim, by a major SN flagship head in London, that she doesn't ask for any qualifications at all in her staff "except that they love the kids".

Goodness sickof!

I've interviewed at DD1's school for TAs (I'm a governor there) and they're expected to do a whole lot better than 'loving the kids'!

As far as I know, there is a premium on the payscale for working in SN schools, too.

I don't think that it is seen as a poor relation - just that there is not the same degree of career progression within the relatively few SN schools.
So you either stay in the same role for years (like my mum ) because you love the job. Pay just keeps with inflation. Or you revert to mainstream, where head of year, head of key stage, head of subject, deputy, HT, larger school etc is more likely

Lougle and auntevil - without getting libellous, the woman that said this to me is seen as a leading light in autism education. And LSAs round here are almost all school gate mums, with zero experience.

No. It isn't but it is all relative. I think their expectations are higher than many SS. I also think my DS is amongst similar children, not more able. But they prioritise therapy and confidence building above academics.

Yes sickof, I think it might be just a case of me having 'higher' expectations of DS than the school.

Funny that I don't 'yet' feel the same about my other 2.

Llimbo, I think that's very astute. I reckon a lot of us spend far too much time fighting for how things should be, even if we realise early that no-one is prepared to actually DO what they pretend to.

My sister did a four year teaching degree so she had time to do specialised SN modules, and is now the senco (she has no class, just the senco stuff and going between the small sessions out of the main class for various groups of kids) in a huge inner london mainstream school.

I kind of assummed you need the extra SN modukes on your teaching degree to do that job, and I know she had to work as a senco in MS before she could apply to a special school, and she basically works all the time she is awake at the moment and worries about 'her' kids on holidays too.

Is that not usual?

(I HE DD who definitely has 'something' going on, probably some form of aspersgers, which was a main reason for taking her out of school, but we are considering trying her in a new school, so my sister is pretty much my only contact with schools atm)

Zzzz it is lovely to chat about it, I think about this issue all the time at the moment. If I am honest, before I had (and by that I mean knew I had) a child with SN I probably didn't give it so much thought. Now I have a vested interest it's high o my list. Trouble is, we are a minority group I guess and you don't know how it feels til you know how it feels.

Starlight thank you. Back to your original thread maybe you should show the SENCo shop assistant this thread?!!

Omg Britta - your sister sounds like a different entity altogether from the Sencos I have met!

That is a very excellent point - as ever zzzz.

I could fight for DS to go to special school or a school with an AS unit or I could apply my energies for fighting fore the right provision in m/s.

Now, I fully accept that there is, at least, the semblance of some choice here in terms of what to fight for but this is largely a question of inclusion and as Star and Limbo say of wanting to fight for things as they should be, not as they are.

DS is capable, I believe, of being included and being successful, academically and socially (to a much lesser extent) in m/stream. However, this is NOT the way m/stream schools run generally and the quality of provision, particularly LSA support is piss poor in my exeprience.

So, we could opt to do things differently and fight for a special school placement or a place in a unit. But part of me thinks WHY should DS be segregated because the system is crap. And what ensures that the quality of provision in such places is any more capable of meeting his individual needs rather than the needs of children like him?

It is horses for courses and some types of schools are best for some children and others are best for others. But parents should never feel they have to go for SS because m/stream schools can't be arsed.

You do get good TAs though, even the ones plucked off the school playground. My sons main TA has definitely made a difference to him. I can't guarantee she will always be there. Can't bribe her can I?

But TAs are IME, for the benefit of the school rather than the child.