Starlight I totally agree! Bee spent her first year in a MS with 2:1 (she had 2 professionals with her at all times - her aide and her nurse). She was in the classroom less than 1/2 the time and accomplished a flat zero learning in a class of 27. She had no interaction with her peers and was surrounded by adults.
In her second year, she was placed in a class in the same school, but in a developmental unit. She was one of 5 or 6 children in the class, most fragile medically, but most advanced developmentally. The kids ranged from 5 (Bee) to 13 and again, no learning occurred.
When we moved, the LA had no appropriate placement for her, and offered us a place for her in a "self-contained" class. There were 2 SC classes at the school, one for "emotionally and behaviourally challenged" students (a mix of ASD and DD, with severe impulse control mixed in for good measure) or the "physio room" which they wanted to place Bee in. In that class, she would have been the only educable, verbal member, all the other children required total care and were only minimally interactive. It was at the meeting we saw these options that one more was dropped in our laps.
Bee is now in a "hospital school". She is learning, and is nearly at grade level for reading, is learning to spell, we are working on her social, developmental, physical, emotional AND educational needs, and have therapists available regularly. We are determining what technology support she requires to succeed. For the first time, we can see a future for her educationally that was totally absent prior to this.
A specialist school is not where children with exceptional needs are warehoused and sit in the corner sticking crayons up their noses. In the right setting, even the most challenged child can blossom.
Here is a piece I wrote after spending a day at Bee's school ... perhaps your DP will read it and at least be willing to reconsider. It is worth noting that, if he is dead set to have her in a MS unit, perhaps this could be a long term goal in her IEP...