She passed her Reception hearing test.
I tried whispering her name very quietly while we were walking home, and she said 'what?' so I think she's hearing the words ok.
However, very, very often, she says 'what?' with a screwed up face when I talk to her. I'm not sure if it is inattention, or that she doesn't understand what I'm saying?
I'm confused, because I don't know what a normal 5 year old is like. But if I give you a list, tell me what you think:
(I did the CHAT test yesterday with DH, for her. She scored 20/30 when I did it alone. 22/30 when I did it with DH (I was soft on a couple of questions when I did it alone, because I felt so mean 
) The site I was on said a cutt off of 15/30 was 'highly likely to have an ASD')
-No real friends. Quite a lot of people she calls a friend, and children say hi, but she only interacts on her own terms. A friend came for play and DD2 came downstairs and put 101 Dalmations on while DD3 entertained her friend (I swiftly instructed DD2 to go back upstairs and play, but she thought I was quite, quite unreasonable!).
-School teacher says that it isn't that children don't want to be friends with DD2, but that she doesn't seem to know how to break into friendships. She'll see a group of girls colouring, so she'll sit down on the same table and start colouring, but doesn't talk or say hi, etc.
-If she needs to go into the classroom and other children are blocking the door, she will just push her way through them. She doesn't say 'excuse me', 'I need to go inside', or even 'out of my way' - she just pushes past, no eye contact, no interaction.
-If people say hello to her, I have to prompt a response. Otherwise, she'll just blank them, often not even acknowledging that she's heard their greeting. For example, DD3's teacher said hello to DD2 when we took her to Montessori. DD2 just walked straight past her. I had to call her back, quietly say 'eye contact, DD2, say hello' and the teacher had to crouch down to engage DD2 in conversation.
-DD2 gets quite chanty with new words. For example, DD1's carer said she was 'bone idle' and DD2 was chanting all afternoon 'bone idle, bone idle, bone idle, bone idle....have a bone idle partyyy'. Last night, it was 'pepperami, pepperami, pepperami.'
-DD2 always thinks that people know what she's thinking. She often doesn't communicate something, then gets cross that we don't know about it. An example: She wanted to show Mrs K her cartwheel. So she marches into reception, and simply does a cartwheel. Then she was completely bemused as to why Mrs K didn't say 'wow'. I had to explain that Mrs K didn't even know DD2 had come in (she had her back to the area, so hadn't seen us) and that DD2 must say 'Mrs K, look at this'.
-DD2 is very, very, literal. For example, a present came, inside a post box. I told her that Uncle had sent a present for her, and she was excited. DD3 said 'DD2, I wonder what the present is.' and DD2 said 'DD3, it isn't a present, it's a box'. I think this was because at that stage, she hadn't opened the box to reveal the present.
-Rarely manage to have a conversation that we initiate - DD2 derails it by interrupting and talking about something totally different.
-Does give hugs and cuddles, but it seems somewhat non-reciprocal - if she wants a hug, she gives you one, regardless of what you are doing, there's no 'exchange'. She does say I love you, though.
I have to codicile this with the fact that her teacher thinks she's perfectly fine, and that she's just a summer-born child. She sees her as 'quirky' and 'individual' and 'doesn't get led by others' but likes those qualities.