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DDs funding was agreed she goes in on Monday :) :(

30 replies

coff33pot · 25/10/2012 11:29

just got phone call and they said her funding for the rehab has been accepted. She has a choice of tomorrow or Monday. I said Monday to give is chance to pack and prepare.

I have to tell her now oh boy I don't know wether to smile or cry...

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 25/10/2012 12:30

Oh good luck, - and bloody well done!

Hope she receives the news well.

DameMargotFountain · 25/10/2012 12:33

big hugs and tight squeezes for you coff

it's a good thing, but i hear your hurt in this

Thanks
imogengladhart · 25/10/2012 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 25/10/2012 13:17

hope all goes well coffee (((hugs)))

frizzcat · 25/10/2012 13:47

Fantastic coff - deep breathe lovely

Glitterknickaz · 25/10/2012 13:49

xxx

chocjunkie · 25/10/2012 13:49

oh great, coff. hope it all goes well :)

Iceflower · 25/10/2012 15:48

So pleased to hear this, hope it goes well.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname · 25/10/2012 15:54

That's great news, coff. About time. Have a lovely weekend with her. xxx

CaramelAndCinammon · 25/10/2012 19:15

Fantastic news.

Hope this is the start of better things for her.

schobe · 25/10/2012 19:27

Really really good news. I lurk but have been following your story and this sounds so positive.

lisad123 · 25/10/2012 19:28

That's great news and while scary and hard, it is whats needed x

devientenigma · 25/10/2012 19:34

I hope it all goes well for her, for you xxx

coff33pot · 25/10/2012 19:43

Thanks all :)

She took it better than I expected. Like she said she needs this placement and has asked enough times but is terrified of the unknown and if they will be able to help her. She is a young girl after all and a lot are older than her there and she has never left my side without panic since small and won't even go on holiday! No matter how much I have suggested it.

Lots of issues stem from the past. Things are blank but she has flashbacks but can't put her finger on when or how long ago. Family therapy will help or hinder as part of her issues are rejection. Her dads family dropped her like a stone when she was small and my inlaws have done the same. Then a more major bad experience on top.

I have faith in this place and the people in it though . Met some of the residents and they all seem a great bunch obviously with their own hills to climb but the can sense the support there :)

OP posts:
bialystockandbloom · 25/10/2012 19:45

Oh all the best to her - and you. Really do hope this is the start of better times for you both - onwards and upwards. xx

StillIRise · 25/10/2012 19:45

Good news!
Hope it is everything you need for her.

coff33pot · 25/10/2012 19:46

3 months is a long time though when you have always had someone under your feet :) I am going to miss her and worry still lol

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EllenJaneisstillnotmyname · 25/10/2012 19:50

Ooo, three months. Hopefully it will be fantastic and will fly by. You can visit, I guess? What about Christmas?

starfish71 · 25/10/2012 19:52

That is great news coff33pot! really hope your DD will get loads of help and support there. You have done an amazing job sorting this out for her :)

bialystockandbloom · 25/10/2012 20:22

3 months - sounds long but will fly by. Is it nearby? Can she come and stay at home when she wants?

PipinJo · 25/10/2012 20:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coff33pot · 25/10/2012 21:46

Plan is she stays within grounds for 2 weeks. No mobiles etc, meds monitored and we were given a great timetable of different therapies and excercises. Even accupunture and yoga of an evening if you want to join in. She shares a bedroom with one other woman for company for the first 6 weeks then progress to having your own room.

After 2 weeks then the programme changes to allow visits to outside interventions and this is where DD can access the eating disorder team once a week and a dietician. She can use local Gym for example. At first they go out with a "buddy" then couple weeks after that they check in and check out for appointment themselves.

Daily structured routine and group work and team work, self esteem building etc. Evening meal is always sat together. Strictly 9 to 5 timetable then tea then visitors are allowed by a pass and I will be able to take her out and return her at 10pm. Visitors are allowed in for an hour so she could have a friend visit then go out for a walk. Basically it will be 3 weeks before I see her.

The idea is eventually she is given a role of "buddy" to someone else to give support and show around.

Everyone has duties to perform in the house and weekends are free days to go out or have family in.

Nice garden, washing self done on rota. Benefits go towards food but allowed pocket money of about £15 week.

No overnight stays out of the building till after week 8 as last four weeks is transition weeks and then they encourage stays with family or back at their flats etc. They will help those that have housing issues contact the correct authorities during those last weeks too.

IF transition is going to take longer then that can be done by them applying for funding for another 4 weeks etc.

It is a nice friendly house and very big.

The timing is good as there are 3 or 4 others with eating disorders too so between them they have their own internal support iyswim. Her only worry is that no one will help her to eat as breakfast and lunch is random and up to you and so she wont bother if she doesnt have to. She doesnt want to leave with still the eating disorder iyswim or she says she will relapse.

Shes a smart girl who knows her vices and her control methods and at least she is half way there. She has managed in this chaotic house to stay free of drugs for 44 days now and it has not been easy so she has already gone through the detox side on her own with just me.

Christmas and her birthday are hard ones as they are close together and we dont know if she will be allowed out so we will have to wait and see.

OP posts:
marchduck · 25/10/2012 21:55

Coff, wishing your DD and you all best

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname · 25/10/2012 22:00

That sounds really good, coff. Worry about Christmas when you get there, but TBH, one Christmas or birthday is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Hopefully she'll be able to see that. Much love x

mariammma · 25/10/2012 22:40

Fantastic tightly-structured medium-term residential regime, with 3or 4 with eating disorders, but breakfast and lunch being ad lib... that sounds like an expensive missed opportunity.

Any chance those meals (esp lunch) could become structured? Even if it was a contract/star chart thing with meals on wheels, a local cafe or perhaps 7 weight watcher ready meals/week. I wonder if phrasing the fasting as an addiction would help the workers 'get' the importance of tackling it? Cos it probably is partly an addictive behaviour. Skipping meals can give a 'hunger rush' of adrenaline, the whole brain chemistry/ endorphin system muddles up, the sense of control is itself very reinforcing, and bodily damage by whatever means can have similar internal effects to those caused by drugs or gambling.