Just wanted to say your experience really struck a chord with me. Am convinced (and have been for the last 3 or so years) that my DS has AS. As he has grown, I have found it increasingly challenging to cope with the meltdowns, rigidity, quirky ways, sensory issues, etc, etc. I have been fighting to get him assessed, but due to cutbacks and the fact that I support him fairly well (have limited experience of working with some AS children) and he coped pretty well (on the surface) in his preschool setting, had to come to terms with the idea that he wasn't enough of a priority to get anywhere. This was despite other SEN professionals having the same opinion of AS as me.
I found that at the end of a tiring day, having battled to get through the day from getting him dressed to leave the house in the morning to getting him into bed, with his screams ringing in my ears, I would gratefully turn to a glass of wine to aid relaxation. By Christmas I realised I was happily drinking two bottles of wine every evening to shake off the tension of surviving the day with DS. I suddenly woke up to the fact that I either had to do something to get myself back on track or fall into mental health issues and alcoholism. I realised I was as unfit as I had ever been...
Despite hating running, (I have always been fit, but never enjoyed running) I thought it would provide the mental challenge as well as the physical challenge I needed to get out of my rut. I pulled my trainers out of the cupboard and got running. During the following months, I worked my way up from nearly collapsing after a km, to happily running 10 km and needing my daily fix desperately.
I found that while running I could completely shut down from all the stress, or work through my arguments, reasoning & fights with all those people who thought I was just a neurotic mother, release the tension of dealing with his obsessional stick collecting or the fact that it took 40 mins to not manage to get his coat on before leaving the house when it was -2. As OP said, I also found that my struggle to make progress gave me a better understanding of what DS had to go through every day, and my running mantra became, 'for DS, For DS, for DS...'
Now, despite having been injured for a couple of months and just about being on my way to returning to my new found pleasure, I am a stone lighter, have a much happier household with the effects benefitting all 3 of my DCs, have the ability to take a step back and think for a second longer about the best way to get him to brush his teeth or think about why his sister is crying after he has hit her, am only drinking two or three times a week (when I want to, not when I have to), and have more energy to enjoy my beautiful family. In the meantime, he has moved to a new nursery, who are taking his difficulties seriously and pushing for him to be assessed and properly supported.
I can thoroughly recommend running as a shortcut to sanity whenever you need it most!
Will be buying your book & reading with much pleasure!