It went really really well 
DS starts his first session with the home tutor on Monday, then he will see her for the two weeks after that just one morning a week to ease him gently back into education.
Then after the easter holidays she will come to the house to see him again and then start taking him to school for one morning a week, then they are going to try him in his class for an hour sometime in May and see how he goes on and then we have another meeting the week before May half term to discuss his progress and see how we go from there.
Headteacher "Does Ds have a dx"?
Psych, "Erm no but i am of the opinion that he has many autistic traits because you can have autistic traits without an autism dx, but he definately is not ASD" 
I kept my mouth shut as did DH because we decided that we will have our say at the next meeting when we will hopefully bring along the private psych who is coming Mon afternoon to see us and DS.
Headteacher said "So when can i expect DS to be back in school full time"?
Psych "I dont know, i cant give you a time, DS has been unwell as we all know and its dependant upon him and how he copes, im not having him pressured into anything that will make him ill again" 
The home tuition lady and the SEN lady also jumped in and said that with children who are absent from school due to medical reasons that you cannot rush them otherwise you just end right back where you first started.
After the meeting psych asked could she come to our house to tell DS what was happening as she has promised him that she will keep him informed about everything, so she came back with us and (you should have seen his face when she walked in, he was not impressed!)
Anyway she explained things to him, he got upset when she mentioned school and started saying "No not that stupid school no no"
She reassured him that he will only attend school when he feels ready to do so.
Me and DH feel so relieved that we are being listened to and that no one is rushing DS.
The only time i lost my temper was when the headteacher mentioned his unauthorised absence.
I said WHAT UNAUTHORISED ABSENCE YOU HAVE PROFF THAT HE IS MEDICALLY UNFIT, she looked worried and looked towards the EWO lady who said that there was medical evidence now, so headteacher said "Are you now telling me to mark him down as authorised"? to which the EWO said yes.
Seems that noone from EWO talks to headteacher but then she,s not much cop.
Psychologist asked her about the new school and the headteachers job to which she said "i havent got it" I nearly fell off my chair laughing