feeling down about a post in MN SN

[devientenigma]

makes me feel left out, looked down on, disregarded, an outsider, imposter.........need I go on. My DS is challenging and complex, has life limiting medical issues as well as his life being limited due to his needs anyway. It's so difficult and lacks the support needed but hey we plod on. So why make me feel crap. Maybe I'm right and the boards not for me anymore, however I don't fit in support groups or other places, so have no where!

Anyway thanks for the rant, take care everyone x

I'm sorry you feel that way dev, I don't know what to say, maybe better to air the issue on the thread in question to give people a chance to explain/be more supportive?

btw I have no clue what post it is, might even be something I've said for all I know

I looked, but I can't find the thread, devientenigma.
What is making you feel so bad on a board that is usually a source of support?

oi

that's not how we do things round here

where's the post, can we help?

it's not one of my threads, it's an easy to spot thread for those who know me. I do try to remain impartial but if I wanted rosy I would be even further up shit creek than we are now x

That's it, TLP. I'm hoping it's not anything I've posted either.

dev have a and make yourself comfy right there {{hugs}}

it's not anything that peeps have said as everyone is allowed their opinions/experiences, just the way things go RE certain issues upset me and make me feel inadequate !

Try and steer clear of the serious stuff on here while you feel this way, distract yourself a bit. take care x

i think i've found it

the thing is, everyone's experience is a different as our DCs

i'm in a right mess wrt school right now (no place for sept, no LA support due to restructuring of services, wrong information being given and acted on) but if i were to post the whole of it on here, some people might say i'd created the situation. maybe i have, but they can't see/read the human element of it all.

as long as i (and i mean this about you too) still believe we do what we do as the best for us and our families, we are NOT inadequate or wrong.

and i totally understand how upset you are feeling.

come and have a big hug {{{hug}}}

thanks False and Light, although the school/statement stuff is annoying, it's not that thread that is upsetting x

Which one then, and why are you feeling like an imposter?
I sometimes wonder if I should post in SN because although DS has AS, it is nowhere near what the majority on here are dealing with. But no ones told me to piss off yet, so I;m still here.

PM me which on then, but my post still stands, we are all so different, then add the mix of our fab DCs and no-one is ever going to be the same as us

Hi Dev please let me know if it's anything I've written because I'd hate to upset anyone.I just give my experiences which might be totally different to others but I'd hate to make anyone feel bad.
Don't leave though sometimes what's written doesn't come across well but I don't think anyone on here deliberately sets out to upset others. Come back and talk about it.

I think that you are good at giving the other side of the coin, sometimes, Dev. People can be overly optimistic sometimes and you are good at reminding us that the reality isn't always as rosy as people make out. But that's not always what people want to hear, I guess, so your posts may get disregarded.

I think the trick is to not take it personally, and remember that your advice is equally valid and that it's good to get a variety of views. It's not your fault that people aren't always ready to hear it, that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. There are others on here who are very blunt with their criticism but they seem pretty hard skinned. It may be that you can't give so much of yourself if it's going to upset you so much, but I would be sad if you stopped contributing.

Please keep posting Dev. I'm one of those who really appreciates your pov, and has in the past derived great comfort from your posts. In RL I sometimes feel surrounded by Pollyannas and hearing someone "tell it like it is" is really valuable to me at times, esp right now when my adult SN sibling is causing me great stress.

(((Hugs Dev))) I dont know what thread as I am on and off here in bits with DS issues at the moment. If I can help please say so x

To be honest I think you are a brilliant Mum who has it all against her at the moment and is doing her utmost for her DS. Very challenging, stressful and heartbreak for you not just your DS issues either x

You are truthful and says it "like it is" and that in itself is good for this board as all our children are different and your posts are going to click with some.

BTW I still think that photo with your DS and his Dad on the sofa asleep is pic of the year for me :)

Why do you feel like crap dev?

I mean, your life is very hard. There's no denying that. And I can't imagine your confidence levels aren't already fragile, but MN is just a space filled with unvetted people at different stages in their acceptance, fights, age of children etc. and some of us use MN to explore our own thoughts and feelings about stuff.

I seriously doubt my take on some issues is the same now as is was 3 years ago for example. I'd probably look at those posts now and think 'what on earth was I thinking?'

Like FalseStarted, some of the mess I got myself into was my own doing. I'm trying the best I can to understand things and do right by my child, but things might have been a lot easier had I chosen different paths. Some of those different paths have been pointed out to me, either at the time or now, but so what? Our lives are what they are, and we are all doing the very best we can.

Use any critisism to evaluate your way forward, not feel shit about the past.

Good post Ellen, agree.

Fallen - you know from a v selfish POV I find it useful to hear about your DS, as that's how I hope my DS turns out, I feel there are some similarities (except I suspect my DS is a lot more placid, but language isn't quite as good). Sometimes I feel I shouldn't be posting on here at all, but noone has kicked me off (yet......)

thanks everyone, been thinking about it and maybe I am a bit touchy atm, so apologies all round. However it will still bother me when peeps make out that down syndrome is an easier if not the easiest of the disabilities to deal with! How it doesn't change your life, how well the kids are doing etc etc, when the reality for us is.........it's nothing like that and our life has changed enormously. Ok we may be a minority but it's still my experience and should I be told life would be rosy.........it doesn't bear thinking about. I would hate for anyone to travel our path to Holland, talk about taking a plane, yeah no problem, so why did we get made to walk bare foot !! lol

YOU mentioned the Holland word