How do you tell the difference between a developmental delay and ASD?

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Hi

I have a DD who's 5 1/2 and we've always assumed that she was somewhere on the spectrum, however until recently was doing really well at school. School are now concerned that she's going to really struggle when she moves up in september when school becomes more structured and the demands are obviously higher.

Her main problems are with her social skills. She doesn't seem to be forming/keeping friendships. She still has tantrums(mega) but not very often at school. She has speech problems, although the SALT didn't agree. She speaks randomly sometimes and will repeat phrases which she's learnt rather than putting together her own sentences. That's not to say that she can't speak fluently at times, but she still does struggle. Academically, she's probably quite average. Above in somethings, below in others so overall we're not concerned with that side of things.

When I went to speak to my gp to talk about being reffered to a paed, she suggested that it could be a developemental delay and not asd. So my question is can developemental delays really look like autism?

Would be great to hear any advice and/or experiences

TIA

Yes

Go back to the GP and don't leave his office until he refers to a paed.

Oh I got a referal anyway, but what she was saying was that I may be surprised by their findings, ie it doesn't have to be autism.

For a child who is just delayed, would they really have odd behaviours though? Or would it not be more of a case of being socially immature and so therefore a 5 yr old, for example, may have the social skills of a 3 yr old. I wouldn't say that it's that with my dd, it's more that she stands out and will say random or inappropriate things, which of course is affecting her ability to maintain friendships. She also gets very over excited and her imagination is amazing and so therefore she can get lost in her fantasy world.

Another yes from me, what you said about seeming socially immature can sometimes look like ASD.

At the end of the day some children with ASD are following more or less normal development just slower than their peer group, they get there in the end but it takes a little longer, oh and they probably have some quirky behaviours or challenges in the mix too.

Girls are often really good at masking their symptoms especially at school. They often learn ways to cope by copying other children even if they have no idea why they are doing a particular thing.
They are also particularly good at becoming invisible at school which is something you really need to look out for as it can be very damaging for a child to keep this up for any length of time.

Does she explode when she gets home? If she does this could be an indication that she is working really hard to fit in at school. Which is great in some ways but it can have an impact on health and family relationships.

good luck with your appointment

Ineed, she will sometimes "explode" when she gets home, but it's rare. It was a different story when she was at pre school though. She'd always lose it then. Tbh though, she would 9 times out of 10, lose it at pre school too.

I remember when she was about 3 1/2, she would say things like "hi friends!!" to random children, she didn't even have to know them Another thing she used to say constantly was "i'm a girl and you're a boy" She doesn't say such things now, but she still comes out with obvious statements for example "that lady has 2 girls. That lady looks after her girls doesn't she. That lady loves her girls doesn't she" and so on and so on. She will ask the same questions again and again and tbh, i'm not sure if she genuinely has forgotten the answer, or is taking some kind of comfort in the routine of asking the same question.

It sounds like the latter TBH, Dd3 likes to get things sorted in her mind and will often ask the same question over and over again.

I am glad she is not distressed after leaving school on a regular basis, with Dd3 it was everyday when her needs werent being met at school and it has taken a long time to trust staff enough to be herself at school. She is getting there though and a few weeks ago when she was a little bit cheeky to the SENCO we all jumped for joy.

I think it could be a difficult journey for you diagnosis wise because some of the things you say about your Dd sound like ASD and some dont. Dont let the proffs try to say it is not ASD without doing a proper assessment,some are very reluctant to DX girls. My Dd3 didnt meet all the criteria but the ones she did meet she met big time which is why we got the DX in the end.

Of course on the other hand, if as she starts to mature these quirks start to disappear then maybe ASD wouldnt be the correct DX after all.

I dont envy you TBH starting this journey, it can be challenging. But at least you found this board, I have had more support and advice from here than anywhere else.

Keep coming back and good luck

Thanks Ineed Do you mind me asking what was it about your dd that got her the diagnosis in the end? You say she met certain criteria big time, so I was just curious. Did you always feel like she stood out? Hope you don't mind me asking you these questions btw....

Aspergers is a pervasive developmental delay disorder (according to DS's consultant psych).

I don't have an answer I'm afraid but I'm asking myself the same question!

DD1 is 3.5 and exactly as you describe your DD. Able to form (long, complex, meaningful) sentences, able to replace and alter words in songs and change things - but given to repeating phrases and sentence structures in similar situations and to using words almost like a tic. There are lots of different things that she says, so it's not the same one each time, but it is not appropriate to the situation and appears totally random. A frequent one is "dogs chase cats, don't they" or "DD1's sad - peaceful!" She also comes across as socially immature and doesn't speak to anyone at preschool or play with other children, although at home she takes turns nicely playing games (unless she gets over-excited when beating me at pairs!) and kisses her sister if the latter's upset. She's also been known to spontaneous offer things for sharing with her sister.

We have an appt next month with developmental paed and not sure what to expect or hope for really!

Sorry, I know that's not much help, but thought I'd share sympathy and say you're not the only one wondering!

Hmm, its difficult to answer that question because in the end Dd3 was Dxed using the DISCO assessment, this is a very detailed questionaire that was developed by Lorna Wing to help to identify those people who are proving difficult to Dx.

I had concerns about Dd3 from a very early age, she was terrified by noises, would only take milk from me despite being bottle fed, even Daddy was a no no. She was extremely sensitive to light and heat/cold.

She was obsessive about certain books/tv programmes. She spoke early but only about what she was interested in. She was echolalic sometimes but not all the time.

As she got older she was really hard work, she used to run off at every opportunity, I had to put her reigns on before I opened the front door or she would leg it down the road. She used to scream if I had to go out of the house to fetch the older girls from school. I now realise that that was because we had to turn the TV off in the middle of a programme.

She also has a complete lack of empathy for other people although she does worry about her cuddly toys feeling sad if she cuddles a different one!! So that is a start I suppose. She also has poor Theory of Mind.

She struggles with separation from me and other anxieties.

There is so much I couldnt possibly tell the whole story on here, I might write a book one day LOL.

No one on here would dream of saying whether or not your Dd has ASD or not but I hope your appointment might begin to shed some light on what is happening with her development.

I am also wondering the same about my DD (turns 4 in August) as although she's been diagnosed with a moderate/severe speech and developmental delay, I'm not convinced she's not somewhere on the spectrum. Our paed feels she isn't and won't do a formal assessment on her.
Some of my concerns are as follows,

In her own world a lot of the time.
Ignores other children at preschool.
Shows no empathy for others.
Severe language delay. Still only has a few words and the ones she has are very unclear. She does however understand almost everything.

I can completely relate to your worry and confusion. There seems to be no answers for us ad it's hard to know how to get the right help for our daughter.

Hello
She sounds a lot like my DD who will be 4 in November. She is highly repetative in her speech, will ask the same question again and again. She also has a speech delay. We had been told she was delayed in some areas, but after a visit from an ed. psychologist last week she is being referred to see if she is on the ASD.

I feel she has ASD. She is just different. She needs to learn everything. She doesn't spontaneously do things. She has trouble lnowing how to communicate with other children although she does want to I think.

It is hard to say how she is different. Just that she is in her own head more than other kids. I think she is delayed, but it is more that than too.

I think there are a few of us here with DD's who are presenting similarly. It is quite interesting to see. The differences are quite subtle, but people are noticing.

for me the difference between autism and developemental delay was 1 year of watching and reports until they were ready to diagnosis ASD

At its heart, autism is a developmental delay but one which affects certain aspects of development in a permanent way. This doesn't mean you can't do anything about those delays but that you do have to specifically teach what is not instinctively learnt.

I think mums know. If you feel there is something different, pursue it. You know best. Don't be afraid. Getting a diagnosis is a tough task and you have a part to play in it.

I've known DD2 was different from about 16/18 months. No one else believed me. I felt (feel) as if I'm going mad a lot of the time.
I have been told by paed/SALT that DD is "delayed" but in my heart of hearts I don't agree.
She is a "weird" little kid. Even if she was 2 years delayed IMO she is still not behaving like a NT 2 yr old.
No one (including DP) will listen.

Oh Alice. I am so sorry. People mean well I think, but it is not helpful to hear they will catch up when you know that they need more help than that.

Does your DD go to nursery or pre school? No one else mentioned ASD to me unless to tell me she couldn't be, but pre school have got a SENCO and educational psychologist involved which I feel has moved things along somewhat.

Thanks Prince. Yes, she goes to a pre school attached to the primary she'll attend. There is a SENCO involved but to date her input has been minimal.
Am going to arrange a meeting with the Head to discuss what support she'll need.

Sorry, today not a good day. DD was taken with the rest of her pre school class today to look around the Reception classrooms and apparently became hysterical and had to be be cuddled and carried and ultimately brought back to pre school and calmed down with a DVD.
I am so worried.

That must be very worrying. This is all very new to me too, but I do understand how overwhelming it can be. What does the school senco say?

alice
Am going to arrange a meeting with the Head to discuss what support she'll need.

does your DD not have a statement yet? if not I would really get the ball rolling asap.

I have been discouraged by the school SENCO from applying for a Statement. Apparently there are other avenues to go down first, Action Plus for example.
I have been told that a Statement will only be granted when it has been proven that everything else has proven inadequate.
Without sounding apathetic on the subject, I can't see how I could sucessfully gain a Statement without the backing and reports by our paed, SALT, EP and school SENCO.
Is it still worth trying for?

Prince, the SENCO isn't the best TBH. She's coming up to full retirement and only works 2 days a week. She also told me that a Statement is "a long way in the future" and that so far DD doesn't meet the criteria for one.
I don't have a lot of faith in her (although overall I do like the school and its staff) which is why I want to discuss things with the Head.

ASD can resemble developmental delay and there are characteristics that can common to both.
If you can remember these; At what age(months), if at all did your DD Respond to visual, Hold Head up, Start rolling, Sit up themselves, Stand up on furniture, Crawl by themselves and Walk alone?

These are ages that are not set in stone, but we are generally programmed to complete these patterns / actions by certain ages.
I agree, that you should keep looking for an explanation for your little one.

My DD hit all her milestones early or on time apart from speech development/social skills which she is at least 18 months behind on.
Would this make ASD more likely in her case?

Alice, I would just apply for a SA myself. go to IPSEA, there is a model letter. The SENCO is not the one to decide if your DD needs a statement.