How do you tell the difference between a developmental delay and ASD?

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Hi

I have a DD who's 5 1/2 and we've always assumed that she was somewhere on the spectrum, however until recently was doing really well at school. School are now concerned that she's going to really struggle when she moves up in september when school becomes more structured and the demands are obviously higher.

Her main problems are with her social skills. She doesn't seem to be forming/keeping friendships. She still has tantrums(mega) but not very often at school. She has speech problems, although the SALT didn't agree. She speaks randomly sometimes and will repeat phrases which she's learnt rather than putting together her own sentences. That's not to say that she can't speak fluently at times, but she still does struggle. Academically, she's probably quite average. Above in somethings, below in others so overall we're not concerned with that side of things.

When I went to speak to my gp to talk about being reffered to a paed, she suggested that it could be a developemental delay and not asd. So my question is can developemental delays really look like autism?

Would be great to hear any advice and/or experiences

TIA

I know there's a child leaving Reception soon to start Y1 who has very similar issues to DD if not slightly worse. He was refused a Statement but is on something called "Action Plus" and receives 20 hrs a week 1:1.

Apparently a Statement won't be considered until everything else in place has been shown to be not working.
Should I be pushing for this for DD?
Due to meet with school head and SENCO (if she can be bothered to attend) next week to thrash all this out.

You can apply for a statutory assessment with out permission or agreement from the school. The LEA may dismiss it, but it will highlight to the right people that there is no SA or SA+ in place.