Folk are always trying to label "our" kids...

[PurplePidjin]

So I reckon we need a few labels for them!

I shall start with

HDAD Hyperactivity Deficit Attention Disorder. Characterised by a distinct lack of mischief, children with HDAD show a distinct tendency to sit down and STFU. Often comorbid with my next suggestion.

Bonum Duo Calceamente is characterised by a constant desire for adult approval. Diagnosis is according to a Triad of Impairment, with marks out of 10 for: Timely completion of school work, including asking for extra when finished; Voluntary completion of adult tasks such as blackboard cleaning, pencil sharpening and tidying of toys; lack of ability to maintain cheek and backchat (in severe cases, this developmental stage will be completely absent)

Anyone care to add to my list?

sounds like your folks may be having more trouble with DC than what you do?!

id be sniddy and pretend to have taken it to heart and got them tested, and reply to folks with 'the examiner laughed and said that there was no way, and whoever suggested it is very silly and needs to butt out

OR! give them a pair of support tights and tell them they are for children control, one in each leg and sling them over your shoulder!!

Sorry, meant folk in general - professionals, teachers, random members of the public...

slap them

sorry, but that is SO rude :S
id try to make sure that the DC dont hear it, as it could be quiet disheartening for them? :/

Bubbless, you know this is in the SN section, so things aren't quite that simple?

Yes, it is bloody rude - so i started a piss take thread to help cheer some friends up. Have you seen the carnage out there that is Wheelchairs vs Buggy Pushers? I think the friends i was trying to cheer up have gone into hiding until they stop getting flamed (or are too busy trying to fight the discrimination being displayed on the main boards)

Pidjin- im so so sorry, i didnt see the SN section, i assumed it was in chat still half asleep sorry :(

yeah, i read the threads last night, and thought it was disgraceful tbh. putting across your opinion is so different to some of the replies i saw :/
and chose to stay out of it, even though my mum is in a wheelchair!

MN can be a harsh place at times :/

Please come and join in, the hordes of thick twats are overwhelming!

I've thought of another on..

Upp's Syndrome All sufferers of this syndrome conform to a single physical stereotype. These can be identified as: Long multi hued fingernails; orangey-brown skin tone; complete hairlessness of all parts of the body except eyelashes and head which are extraordinarily luxuriant; obsessions including, but not limited to, gold credit cards, gold jewellery, football players, large houses with swimming pools, tiny dogs, mobile phones, designer handbags/shoes/clothes; a concentration span the exact length of an article in Heat magazine and no longer.

Purple - I thought the last one had already been labelled as TOWIEitis?
I recognised lots of children from your first post and have been trying to think of another dx. I can only come up with OMMs. Its those that feel that they should always be picked and chosen to answer every question, chosen for every activity, get to represent the whole class etc and stands for OOOOOH, Me Miss - and is always accompanied by a raised hand.

Ooh, definitely OMM as the antonym to ODD! Love it :o (i was trying to avoid passing the stereotype to another group, but yes TOWIE style was what i had in mind when I thought of it!)

We also need an organisation to support those who have finally acheived a diagnosis. How about the RNIHT, the Royal National Institute for the Hard of Thinking?

Originally set up to help victims of Dyscogita the inability to use even half the wits one was born with...

And don't forget all the victims of PTA by Proxy whereby a child is dragooned into being the lead in the school play every single year simply because of the sheer bloody-mindedness of a parent, usually female!

love the last bit - I'm on the PTA - but its mainly to infiltrate the T part of it

Social Communication Disorder - exhibited by an annoying child who never stops telling you about things that are happening in an unnervingly friendly way. These children tend to be co-morbidly verbal

Praxic - having the unusual skill of being able to handle tools and equipment and walk in a straight line without tripping over one's shadow.

Unobsessive uncompulsive disorder - Children with this are so hard to fathom. They just don't care that all the shampoo bottles are arranged at random and don't bother to tell you when you've not got around to putting a sock on yet.

and of course, I've completely missed the point of this thread

Not at all, the "point" is to label those who judge us in the same way they label us. I love your SCD :o

I will add hyperpraxic the ability to handle tools or musical instruments or compete in sports to a jealousy-inducingly high standard with no apparent effort

And I've just remembered one my Mum diagnosed me with as a child

Verbal diarrhoea the ability to prattle endlessly about any and every irrelevancy in the child's head

NED - normal educational needs, for those getting Gold Standard education as standard and because they are easy to teach. Thus leaving the learning disabled to their 'adequate education' in the corridoor with the 'classroom helper' aka mum who pops into school to listen to children read.

LOL at NEDS
I love the praxic ones. I think I might use that when I next have a parent ask me what dyspraxia is. This is usually after asking 'why does he walk/run funny?' . I might just say that your child is praxic - my child is dyspraxic and just leave it at that - unless I know that their child is very good at ....say football, I might say it in a sympathetic caring (phoney) voice and ask if they think that their DC might be a bit hyperpraxic in football

heres one ive come across before
EOD Expert on Disability - is totally convinced that they know more than u about your childs disability. symptoms include being lectured on ur childs disability cos they think they know more than u do. Inability to talk to DS in non patronising manner.Can make DS look them in eyes an gloat cos he wont do it 4 u (he cant do that for more than half a second and wouldnt dream of making him myself). if u disagree with them they dont like it (good!!!)

Oh God, Stephanie, you've reminded me...
Rescuer Syndrome ignorant fuckers who have read a book and think they can cure behaviour problems by hugging/paying more attention to/disciplining a child. Generally found in corridors reading to NEDs to keep them out of the way of real work.

Passive Doormat Submissiveness (PDS) - characterised by smiling willingness to perform any task requested/instructed, says yes to everything, eager to please to point of being despised by all around them. Probably wears a lot of beige too.

Purplepidjin yeah have met them too lol had an Educational Psycologist who thought that clapping hands at my son would stop his meltdowns!!!!! think she had read it somewhere (a fairy tale) and was convinced it would work!!!!!!!!!! (no it didnt) :)

Nice one, Silk!

That would be Capitus Anus Syndrome, Stephanie. Head up own arse. Not to be confused with Footinmouth which is more often displayed by Joe Public.

Loss of usual Voice Disorder, usually found co-morbid to Head Tilt to one Side Syndome - found in parents of 'normal children' when speaking to your disabled SEN child, at its most extream when aimed at child in a wheelchair.

PSOB (playground spongeitus of brain) + The ability to soak up any crap of juicy gossip from morning playground meets. This is highly contagious as the sufferer is compelled to squish out jets of gossip to anyone that stops within there path. Ear plugs and hoodies up are the only preventative measure although as a temparary measure should anyone spot a PSOB carrier (distinctly easily to spot by the wide eyes and satisfied grin and face pace walking) one could place hands quickly over ears and shout "LA LA LA LA I CANT HERE YOU!" Government fear an epidemic is upon us......