HELP!!!

[crazymare20]

hi first post an im sorry this maybe a long one.
Im just hoping that some of you lovely people can tell me how you knew your children had autism
My daughter (sorry dont know any short terms) will be having her referal next week for the child develoment unit. I have asked for this
Im not sure wether she has or not im trying to keep an open mind
this will be the long part (sorry)
My daughter is 3 years 5 months old. She has delayed speech but this is getting better everyday. She can now string 3 words together that make sense but most of her speech is very similar to baby babble
She repeats most things you say to her and its reeated perfectly
She has phases of being repititve with different with different things and objects but again these are alot better than they were a year ago
She was terrible with doors, she would open and shut them constantly and always banging them, ive lost count how many times she had them off the hinges
She used to line things up repeatedly through the day, mostly house hold things rather than her toy but she hasnt done it for about 6 months until recently when shes started doing it again but not everyday, more like once a week
Shes fascinated by music, she would rather watch the music channels on tv instead of cbeebies and every song she hears she knows and remembers. She always asks for music to be loud when we are in the car.
She sings alot throughout the day and alot of people have commented that they cant believe a child of her age knows as many pop songs as she does.
When she singing shes in a world of her own and generally running from one end of the room and seems oblivious to any thing else around her.
She loves being with other kids but doesnt really play she just enjoys being in their company. When she does play she is very rough and and when we tell her to let go (she grabs) she just doesnt hear us.
Her toilet training isnt to bad. She is dry and has been for around a year but she will not go for a poo on the toilet. Recently this is getting better and she has told me on accasion she needs a poo and she has gone to the toilet but most of the time she will hide and get on all four and poo in her pants.
But she has a 16 month old sister and she takes an interest in what her siter does in her nappy so im thinking maybe she poos in her pants because her sister poos in her nappy.
She didnt sleep through until she was nearly 2 years old
Her understanding is worrying as she just doesnt understand. She doesnt understand that running into the road could hurt her if shes hit by a car. She runs off an starts laughing with no awareness of what could happen as she just doesnt understand.

These are all the negative thing really, in all other ways shes like a normal 3 year old. Her behaviour is not bad at all and shes pleasant to be around. She loves a cuddle an loves her sister. And doesnt through a strop if i say no

Sorry again

She sounds just like my nephew. He's lovely, he loves his music channels though. He's on the autistic spectrum, they haven't quite decided whether he's autistic yet though. Let them assess her and see what happens.

Sounds like she has a lot of symptoms of autism.

Hope you get an answer soon.

hi there, and welcome to the SN section

i knew my DD had autism because we went through the assessment process with her and her Paed gave the diagnosis. i suspected she was having difficulties with some aspects of 'life' and went to our GP in a soggy mess of tears and sleep deprivation stress.

i don't think any parent 'knows' but has a very strong suspicion

lots of the things you mention could be austistic traits (to the little i know about the whole spectrum) and a lot are what you'd expect most 3yr olds to do.

you are absolutely doing the right thing and having your concerns investigated, if she is on the autistic spectrum there are ways of communicating and socialising that can help her and other people to understand her place in the world.

she sounds lovely btw, i love to hear littlies sing

thanks guys
im on the fence with it really, she does have traits but isnt tyically autistic if that makes any sense. I have put the assesment off (nursery wanted to have it done when she was 2) as i wanted to see if she outgrew any of her traits.
To be fair she is getting better but shes still not where i would like her to be.
im just anxious about the whole assesment and what they may or may not find

whatever 'they' find, it won't change your DD though, she'll still be able to sing and she'll still want cuddles

She sounds a lot like my DS2 (dear son) did at 3. Especially the running around the room and memorising lots of words and being cuddly. He is lovely, too. He was DX (diagnosed) with ASD at almost exactly your DD's (dear daughter's) age, 3 years 6 months though he saw the paed initially at 3. It doesn't mean that your DD has ASD, just that you are right to be getting her assessed. Welcome to the board.

Crossed with you. I wasn't convinced my DS had ASD at all, he seemed to be too active and clever despite his communication problems. He is very hypo sensitive (under sensitive) to sensory stimulus which seems to be less common than those who are over sensitive. I think that was why he didn't seem to fit the stereotype. He liked noise, movement, cuddles. He loved programmes like the Weakest Link and Who wants to be a Millionaire, not for the questions or the human drama but for the music and lighting. He didn't 'get' CBeebies.

I would strongly recommend the Hanen speech therapy book 'More than Words' which described him too a 't'. I'll look up a link for you to a cheap source.

Hi crazy and welcome to the board I have a Dd3[9] who has ASD. There are a few of us on here with girls with ASD.

They do present very differently to boys and are often more sociable, in that they want to make friends but lack the skills to do so.

It is good that your Dd is going to be assessed early as school can be a really tough place for some children and if she is going to need support you have plenty of time to get it sorted.

Good luck with your assessment and keep coming on here, we are a friendly bunch with loads of experience.

BTW, my Dd3 sings all the time and likes to watch you tube on our tv or on the computer. She also sings in 3 choirs which keeps her really busy. The vocal tutors love her because she learns the songs really quickly and never forgets them.

To a 't' that is!

www.winslow-cat.com/more-than-words.html

My DS's SALT recommended this, it was my bible for a while.

thanks again, i will keep coming on here as i have felt quite alone with it all really. I have been googleing autism but for a while but is mostly covers the extremes of ASD
I briefly went into the am i being unreasonable section but quickly scappered lol

Thanks ellen. An soRry im being thick but whats SALT?

Hi, You sound similar to how I was a few years ago. My son was around the same age when I came round to the idea that he needed to be assessed. I thought he might grow out of things (which he has has to some extent, but with age come other issues) so I deferred and then my denial lead to a delay in his eventual diagnosis of autism that came when he was around 5 years old. I can totally identify with the doors and poo issues! (Drawing pictures of stickmen going to the toilet and the poo being flushed to the sea/sewage plant worked for us!) My son, now 7, has some help at school but is v bright and I hope will flourish. Of course I can't say if your daughter is autistic but if she is, then this board is fantastic for ideas and support. Good Luck with the assessment and your daughter sounds lovely and a diagnosis wouldn't change that. I would advise keeping a note of any meetings and what happened at them as it can get overwhelming if a variety of professionals are involved.

Hi and welcome :)

You will always find someone here to help you out with advice or just support when you feel a rant coming on :)

I noticed the difference in my DS once he started school. He was fine at nursery as permanent 1 to 1 their anyway until he was reception age and the social difficulties with the presures of unstructured times and confusion of rules shined through.

He was eventually dx in April after a bit of a battle.

Good luck you are doing the right thing in having your lovely dd assessed to rule in or rule out any issues :)

Hello crazymare20, just wanted to welcome you to the board really. Can't offer much help as my ds wasn't diagnosed until he was 8, so I don't have any experience of being diagnosed at a younger age. I do however know enough to know that it's good that your daughter is being assessed now as it means if they do come up with diagnosis, support can be put in place early.

Do keep posting, it's a great place for getting support and gaining knowledge. We're a friendly bunch really.

You are not being thick at all - we all have to learn all the shortened versions of things when we first arrive. If you want to learn all the short terms, from the main board look at the top of your screen, just below where it says Mumsnet Talk and check out the acronyms list, as the main ones are in there. Some of the ones we use in here might not be on that list though so:

SALT - speech and language therapy
ASD - autism spectrum disorder
AS - asperger's syndrome
SA - statutory assessment
LEA - local education authority
LA - local authority
SENCO - special educational needs coordinator
EP - educational psychologist

There are probably more that I've forgotten, but if you do get stuck just ask.

Oh - and you did right to run away from AIBU - it's a very scary place! A lot of us just tend to hide out here in MNSN (Mumsnet Special Needs) as we tend to feel a lot safer in here.

Please excuse my awful typing and grammar and odd punctuation.

Was going to say SALT is Speech And Language Therapist/Therapy but moose has beaten me to it.

Definitely stay away from AIBU crazy it can be a dangerous place and its full of poeple who dont have a clue about having a child with SN's.

No you stick around here where its friendly

i like AIBU, i can work off all my angst and learn who to avoid

thank you again, it means alot. I also have to apologise for my typing. I have a puppy that keeps dropping her toys on my keyboard (think shes trying to tell me something)

How did you all find the assesment process?
My cousin is coming to sit in with me. She currently works at a school for children with special needs and its her that has given me the kick up the backside to get her assesed, otherwise i think i would have continued in my own little bubble

Very stressful, I kept wavering between complete denial, to reading up on everything to excess, to crying at the drop of a hat. And it was so bloody slow!

My best advice is to remember that any DX will not actually change your DD. It won't have made her autistic, or given her some other problems. She will be the same delightful, cuddly girl she's always been. What it will do is give you the ammunition to get her some interventions and support to ensure that she reaches her potential. It will give you the right words to find out what you can do to help.

My DS was DXed with ASD at 3.6. He's now 12, in a mainstream secondary school, with a statement of SEN, in the top set for Maths and coping amazingly well.

Ooo a puppy. What breed do you have?

Good plan to have your cousin with you, it's definitely better if there's two of you and having someone who is already in the know so-to-speak will be invaluable.

I think the assessment process is always a bit of a rollercoaster and a dx (diagnosis) always feels like a punch in the stomach, even if you're expecting it. It's a time you need to be kind to yourself and allow yourself some space and time to process it all, but bear in mind, as Ellen said your dd will still be your lovely girl regardless of any diagnosis. All the diagnosis does is help direct various professionals, be they medical or educational towards the appropriate kind of support. It's just a way of being able to make sure she get's the right support to ensure she can realise her full potential. People on this board often tend to talk about diagnoses as signposts to support and I found that really helpful early on.

i wouldnt change her for the world. My dad passed away in march an i was a mess (still am) and a few occasions she has caught me crying and come up to me an said dont cry mummy and given me a hug. She really is brill, an shes the same with her little sister. If she falls she goes to her an helps to pick her up an rubs her head and says you ok. She is very polite an always says please and thank you even if you cant understand what shes actually asking for. Sorry proud mummy waffle

Shes a german shepherd.
Im more scared of them saying yes she is autistic an then its final and then you have all the worry about how they will cope as they grow.
At the moment i can be blissfully ignorant to it.
Im sure some of you will understand what i mean

Understand exactly. ((((hugs)))). Hopefully it won't come to that, but if that is what they say, the sooner you know the better, really. It's that head and heart thing. Head says you need to know to start to help, heart says I don't want this to be true, if I ignore it it might go away.