Fed up with Pre school but feel like I'm over a barrel

[Catsdontcare]

Only half a term to go and ds leaves anyway but I am finding Pre school and their tedious and rigid ways tiresome and I feel like they are often negative about ds and nit pick, they know he has ASD but point out his difficult behaviours in what I feel are unfair ways. The other day they said to him on his way out "you really let yourself down" he's 4 ffs and has a two year speech delay so he probably didn't have clue what she meant anyway but it made me feel so sad. His crime? Refusing to sit at the snack table (it use to be optional but now they insist)
I feel tempted to take him out sometimes but we are going down the statementing route and I think doing do would hinder the process.

Sorry rambling and not making much sense. Just feel

I'd take him out and tell the Tate,eating officers it was your only option due to his needs not being met, then have a lovely long summer together.

Tate eating = statementing

I wouldn't blame you for taking him out. What a stupid thing to say to a child.

Ha thought Tate eating officers were an authority on food in schools!

Do you really think it would be ok to remove him. I hate myself I should have changed a year ago when I had niggles but thought he wouldn't cope with the change.

If I fuck up his statement too then I will be gutted but I would love nothing more than to keep him home and enjoy him before he starts school.

No, you can say the placement broke down/failed. His self-esteem was at risk and he was being punished rather than rewarded for his immature attemps at communication and you were worried he'd give up. That is WHY he needs a statement to access an adequate education.

Thank you, you have put into words exactly how I feel he is being treated they are calling him arguementative and contrary but I think he is trying to make himself understood and express himself.

I feel so sad for him

LOL!! Loving the Tate Eating officers. Made me laugh out loud that did.

What Starlight said about the placement breaking down.

Take him out, no-one deserves that sort of harsh and non understanding treatment.

I was told I shouldn't move dd2 from my Pre school because they needed the opportunity to see and deal with her difficulties they were the ones saying there was nothing wrong with her when every other professional agreed she had autism.
I pulled her out half a term later, and emailed everyone and said I felt I had little choice as failure to accept she had Asd, meant they were working with us to help improve. It was fine. Do it

Would you need their cooperation to complete the statementing paperwork? If you already have everything you need, I would remove him. They seem quite negative about him and it's only 6 more weeks.....

Is he going to school in September?

Yes he's going to school in September (a lovely one) I think I will phone the area senco and see what she think re the statement I'm assuming if Pre school have submitted their reports then there is nothing else needed from them.

What makes me angry is the manager talks a good talk at meetings but the staff don't reflect that.

I'm not sending him for the rest of this week for certain

Ime the la likes children in placements in order to deny needs and produce evidence of little support requirements.

Have just read what they put in his home book yesterday. God it's depressing that these people have no clue. I should be writing my supporting statement for his statutory assessment but feel so deflated.

Have just read what they put in his home book yesterday. God it's depressing that these people have no clue. I should be writing my supporting statement for his statutory assessment but feel so deflated.

What did they put?

"very arguementative today he saw a wasp and said it was a bee I explained it was a wasp but he said no it's a bee. I kept explaining it was a wasp but he insisted it wasn't Then he he told someone else it WAS a wasp! Very contrary!"

Who fucking cares! How about "lovely speech and interaction today ds saw a wasp and came to get me so he could show me and then wanted to show others to"

OMG, remove him without any guilt or feeling you have done anything wrong.

I wish to God I had removed my son from his nursery. They did so much damage, in retrospect. They blamed him for his autism, and that isnt on. Ditto for your DS.

Use this as ammunition. Take him out asap if you can make it work childcare-wise and write a damning report on them as evidence for your statutory assessment, as evidence of why he needs expert intervention, sympathetic 1:1 support etc

So sorry you are going through this.

Ugh, she sounds like she is arguing with him at the level of a 3 year old herself, instead, as you say, marvelling in his interests....

Argumentative/contrary - very negative words...

He is quite arguementative at the mo but I feel they feed into it by arguing back. They are quite an old fashioned set up and I think rather rigid in their rules and approach. I often think some of their rules are beyond pointless ie children have to eat their lunch in the right order sandwich first then fruit then yoghurt. Seriously who cares about such things?!

I know ds can be a bit rigid but actually as a family we are quite flexible and we pick our battles and rather than relishing in Pre schools rules and set ways he is battling against it.

Considering he was non verbal a year ago I'm at the point where all conversation is to be celebrated even if he said "fuck you it's a bee"

I'd take him out too.

Can you copy out statements like that from his home-school book with a little commentary on how they show mishandling and what a more appropriate response would have been? You could include that in your letter about why his needs were not being met. Ditto comments like 'you let yourself down'.

I'm just at the idea of an adult having a lengthy argument with a speech-delayed 4 year-old about whether it's a wasp or a bee. Lol at 'fuck you, it's a bee'! Can you coach him to say that?

Could do schobe and then pass it off as echolalia!

Take him out. If they'll happily admit to mishandling the situation to this level then christ only knows what else is going on.

I am a 1-2-1 to 2 kids with suspected ASD in a pre-school nursery (yes 2 ).

Was in tears of frustration today at the complete lack of empathy shown by the play leader. The insistence that I force them to do things that distress them when there really is no fucking need and absolutely no point. No one else gives a shit.

I know that I can't carry on after the summer holidays. Dragging me down to much but completely wracked with guilt at abandoning my charges in there. Fed up hearing playleader tell parents that they've been fine when they've been crying due to being forced into situations that they can't cope with.

Take him out. Please.