the incessant talking about a particular subject...how do you deal with it?

[yawningmonster]

At the moment we have a once a day 5 minute period where ds has to do all his talking in his head. This is about all he can manage and once the 5 minutes are up he is practically bursting to spill all those silent thoughts out again. My aim is to increase the number of times he needs to do this or the length of time he does this for but I think this goal is more about my needs than his. I have to say that the other several hours of play by play commentary with constant 'mum' interjections to make sure he has my attention are getting a little wearying. How do you deal with it and do you moderate the obsession at all. DS has very specific sequences of setting up army formations or camps and then commentating on each stage of the building and operation of the "troops" he doesn't like you to engage in the conversation ie won't answer questions about what he is doing but does require your undivided attention to what he is saying.
I am finding it hard to deal with at the moment. As I type this he is setting up a very complicated scenario with the blocks and getting very annoyed when I look down at the computer screen instead of at what he is doing and saying.

Slightly different but my DD used to obsess over windscreen wipers. She would say "wipers work?" over and over and then there was a sequence to follow- I would say "yes they work but we only put them on when it rains" and she would say an approximation of only when it rains. I asked our inclusion teacher about it as it was getting in the way of talking about or doing other things and she said it made DD feel secure and to indulge it a little then try to use it to get other stuff done, ie say we could talk about it for a set amount of time then we would move on to the next thing.

It sort of worked. But tbh it was more she eventually stopped that obsession-and moved on to obsessing over my car keys! It is exhausting you have my sympathy.

Oh gosh yawning, that sounds exhausting!!

What does he do if you walk away or ignore him.

If i ignore Dd3 she gets louder but she is able to play by herself. She does the running comentry thing to herself.

I think you might have to gradually withdraw bit by bit. So maybe you could start by reading or mn ing and just keep reassuring him that you are still there but that you need to do something else at the same time as watching him.

Good luck

Ds is at his worst when he is anxious. Then I get incessant talking or questions. I tend to switch off and hmm a lot. We tried limiting the questions that we were willing to answer but that made him stressed as he couldn't choose which questions were most important

I do a lot of popping out of the room. Could you say to ds ' I just need a wee, be back in a minute' and then hide for 5 mins. I can escape for up to about 20 mins like that.

I'm quite ruthless about it.

My son is nearly 15 and has been obsessing about the same things since he started talking at 4 and it drives us nuts. More importantly it also ruins his chances of being accepted by mainstream peers/the world at large, and so we have worked very hard to clamp down when and where he is allowed to obsess.
for example ..I'm realistic.. when we leave school he is allowed to obsess at me for 20 minutes while I drive him home, because he has HAD to keep it inside during lessons.

He is at special school but partly integrated into an MLD unit and it has taken him nearly 10 years to get to a stage where he can NOT rabbit on in lessons. So at play times etc he is allowed to obsess to the nearest adult. At home he is allowed to rabbit on for about 10 mins but he is not allowed to repeat himself over and over..he gets three repeats and is then told to stop. He can now just about manage this, and will then drift to his computer (Box office statistics are his thing!) and pop back every so often to update me with the world gross takings for particular films! He is finally beginning to grasp that he can't talk at people all the time, but I don't think he will ever comprehend WHY.

if I walk away or ignore he follows and/or gets louder and more insistent with his "mum" interjections. The 5 minutes is a start of the gradual withdrawal and have been a work in progress, a month ago it was constant reminders that the timer hadn't gone off and he needed to talk in his head, he can now manage the 5 minutes but is literally hopping up and down on the spot and then almost can't talk fast enough when it is finished. I do pop out of the room but it is very hard to tell him, I find I have to overtalk him alot though I am trying to introduce a signal that I need to talk. When he is on subject though not much of what I say penetrates to be honest and tonight was a prime example...
DS: The blue bit on the top is the watchpost where the watchman will be stationed mum, but you need two watchmen so I will use the man with the waistcoat mum! as that is actually a protective suit and the other man the red one MUM! he actually has a cannon which is invisible but I know it is there just nobody else does....
ME: DS DD needs to go to bed now, mummy is going to take her
DS:and then the protective suit man needs to be slightly ahead mum but not right in front because he needs to get all the enemy fire Mum! but he can't be in front or cannon man might accidentally shoot him instead of the enemy, there is just enough room to position them exactly MUM! and then at the bottom of their tower is a ladder but it can extend up and down so that the enemy can't climb it but the good guys can operate it because they have the button which extends and um whats it called when you make it go small again mum? and I better make a power station so that they have electricity to make the operating button work and there better be power lines so it can all go through....mum! (I am walking out of room with dd)
ME: I am putting dd to bed
Ds followed me to the bedroom talking all the while with me telling him I will be back in a while but right now I need to put dd to bed. He eventually went back to the lounge (with a couple of threats so I could actually get dd down) and when I returned to the lounge a couple of minutes later he launched straight back into it. It seems particularly bad at the moment perhaps he is anxious as shopping mentioned...it will be fun trying to figure out the source if he is though.
Sorry for ramble my head is ringing with war sequences lately.

anarchist and medusa I think you maybe on to something...I just suddenly thought between your two posts that I could do a social story about it for him and introduce the check your audience aspect...he would not be able to read the body language or facial expressions though. I will endevour to flip things around and give him a period of time for obsessing and dialogue and then when it is up require him to either stop or at least stop needing an audience. I for some reason had not thought of doing it this way rather than doing the 5 minutes self talk approach I have been taking. I think it will be baby steps but will get started on the social story.

I use the MAKATON stop/wait sign alot with Dd3.

I am also able to say to her. I need to talk now, and you need to listen.

If she continues to talk over me i use the sign for stop.

Oh god my ds is like this too! He likes to recite scripts mostly.

He had me sat for half an hour this morning while he recreated the movie Wall-E using his vast collection. There's no talking in it but he does all the sounds and effects and moves all the figures just like in the film. It's exact and if you interrupt he gets annoyed and starts all over again! I indulged him for half an hour this morning and then cut him off as I wanted my breakfast cuppa (he had literally dragged me out of bed for this 'show').

He also does it with film scripts and wants you to do another characters voice, then gets really confused and annoyed as to why you A) can't remember all the words, with the correct accent and tone like he can, B) why you wouldn't wantto.

I agree with those that have said it's a valuable lesson they need to learn that this kind of behaviour will not get them anywhere outside the family home. I'm quite blunt with him at times and whilst I do let him have a bit of time doing this each day, it is limited. He does do this stuff alone though too and still gets enjoyment from it.

I like the idea of trying to get them observing their audience. Think DS is a little 'young' developmental wise for this yet but will definitely be using this tactic as he develops.

DS1 likes the subject of death. I get constant questions about how old everyone is and when others died, and who was the first person to die in our family (answer that one). On to when we were seeing the Psychiatrist and he asked if Doctors die. and seeing a man with flowers in the street, apparently somebody died and he was going to his garden where he'd buried them and was going to put the flowers on and then he might lie next to them when he died but who was gonna bury him? You have to laugh sometimes, but at other times I cope a bit like this... aaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! :-)

I go to the bottom of the garden and have a fag.

Sometimes I take a with me.

One day they will find my frozen body.

@ Wet. I often feel that if I hear any more mention of operating systems and Raspberry Pi I will spontaneously combust. The sad thing is ds would probably just carry on chatting.

wet, I used to smoke and when i tried to give up i dreaded not being able to escape into the garden for a fag.

I finally managed to give up a few years ago and now i obssessively peg out washing. Lol.

I do miss escaping in the rain though.

Smoking keeps me off Class A drugs

There is only so much World of Warcraft action-by-action recounting of raids that I can cope with.

I am 7 days into non smoking arrgghhhh.

I haven't tackled ds obsessive monologues at all, The closest I get is lets talk about something else for a while but within two minutes he is really struggling.

His current topics are Spartans, Romans and WW 11 so tbh I have found these ones quite interesting albeit very grisly.

I am still working on the social story but I tried the full attention for a period of 20 minutes with a timer and then supposedly it was my time after that but he talked over the timer and couldn't reign it in at all....I will try makaton signs with him as he may need a visual as well as an auditory cue to stop for a bit.

I am 14 years smoke free and I miss it desperately, my children were not born when I was smoking if they had been I would not have been able to give it up as there is nothing as grounding and centering as a cigarette that I have found. Crappy I am hoping that at some point his dialogue will actually be factual and of interest but mostly it is formations for battles that only exist in his head and it is extremely hard to follow what on earth he is going on about.

I am fascinated and amused by all your ds's various 'special areas of interest'. Some are so strange arent they? My ds's (he's 12) is an obsession with careers-what career he will have when he leaves school but bizzarely he is also a bit obsessed with star wars computer games and the chosen career(which he wants to talk about this week) must have certain things in common with the current star wars game he is playing.It just drives me insane and is a little worrying at this age as things like choosing options etc for exams might prove to be next to impossible.I am so hoping he might switch obsessions as he gets older but its not looking good at the moment. I too am fag-free nearly 5 years now and sometimes think they would come in really handy when I am tearing my hair out.

Don't worry - an obsession eventually runs its course and they move on to new obsessions.

It gives you, as a parent, an opportunity to become a world expert on a whole host of obscure interests.

I know of children with obsessions about electricity pylons, vintage buses, number plates of refuse collecting vehicles and (the weirdest of all) Italian Shipping Lines.

Italian Shipping Lines is indeed impressive Wet

And it's here that I admit my own obsession - photographing manhole covers.

I kid you not

Oh blimey, you have me stumped there!

I know someone whose DH had a special interest in B & Q. He used to go all over the country comparing which had the best screw aisle etc.

jandymaccomesback