Please come talk to MNHQ about Special Needs topics: better with fewer of them or not?

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

We're looking into streamlining/reorganising our Topics list to make it easier for people to find the best topic for their thread, and to make it easier for everyone to find their way around Talk.

And, following on from some of the points raised on this Site stuff thread, we wanted to ask you folks about the range of SN Topics in Talk.

Currently, as you know, we have...
Parents with disabilities
Special needs support sessions
Special needs: children
Special needs: education
Special needs: legal/financial
Special needs: recommendations
Special needs: teens and pre-teens

Do you think it might be a good idea to lose some of these, given that some of them (legal, education, recommendations, in particular) are quite underused?

Would it be better to have fewer topics, so that every OP was more likely to get replies to their threads?

Or do you think the balance of Topics is fine just as it is?

Please do let us know...

I agree, Star. Brilliant idea to dovetail SN: children with SEN, but not SN:Education with SEN because you can't really separate out the home life from school life, so SN:Education is underused.

2shoes, I still don't understand why you feel your needs are so very different that you can't get support within the main SN board, and I'm still really sad that you feel that you can't give support to others. How does it help to reduce your pool of potential supporters and resources? You know, in 12 years, DD1 will be 18. Not that far away in the scheme of things.

TBH, I'm no surprised shoesy left at the end of the day we all have many battles day to day and really just want to fit somewhere..............some of us live on the internet, the problems we have with our DC mean we have become prisoners in our own homes. That is hard enough to deal with but to feel not needed/not welcome on a forum based on need is just as hard.

dev I love to read your posts - in fact I particularly like to read posts by MNERS with older chn. I find them really helpful.

lol Lougle my DS's home is his school

There you go 2shoes, robot will read, although my DS is not that old yet.

your dd is a bit older though isn't she dev? You see I have been paying attention!

lougle i think matter of fact i know 2hoes has offered unwavering support to others....it is not fair as her child has grown up...2soes needs answers to questions we coulnt even begin to imagine....a teenager is not the same as a child...they hve differing needs...

it ia not fair to 2 shoes and others to be discriminated against because of their childs age

lol yeah she is, not quite post 16 and not as needy as a lot on here. I also have 2 boys who are stuck in limbo, age 18 and 19, expelled from SN college.

"zzzzz no offence, but I can't help anyone else at the moment, I need it myself."

That's what I'm referring to, doormat. I am struggling to understand why 2shoes doesn't see SN:Children as a home for her issues, because children isn't the technical 0-18, it's the people you have parental responsibility for, regardless of their age.

Why doesn't 2shoes want our support? If I needed support I'd go to wherever I could find it.

It's not discrimination, is it? 2shoes is saying that we're not good enough to support her. She hadn't even given us that chance. She's also said that she's not able to offer support, but feels sad that she can't have support herself. I don't get that mentality.

lougle maybe not to scare parents of ppl with younger children with sn....i must admit the last year of my ds' life he was in high school and i was worried sick what was going to happen to him re puberty etc....i cant answer for 2shoes but i can answer for myself if my ds was still alive and i would want a seperate section for sn teens etc...as i wouldnt want to worry parents of younger children

But we are all saying that it wouldn't worry us!

Don't you think I already think about DD1 in 10 years time??? It's not rocket science to think things get harder.

TBH, I'm no surprised shoesy left at the end of the day we all have many battles day to day and really just want to fit somewhere..............some of us live on the internet, the problems we have with our DC mean we have become prisoners in our own homes. That is hard enough to deal with but to feel not needed/not welcome on a forum based on need is just as hard

I really am struggling to understand this seriously.

It seems self imposed. I havent seen anyone indicate anything other than her [and those like her] being needed and very much welcome.

Im also finding all this talk of shielding parents of younger children from the harsh realities a bit patronising, life isnt exactly easy now TBH!

Also re being a prisoner in your own home...why would you think its any different here?

lougle it is a diffucult subject to braoch with an older child with sn...as i said i can only spk for myself...i couldnt bear to give parents the ins and out of a ducks bottom of what was to come ...it broke my heart, when i learnt a few things and i wouldnt want to put someone is that position...:(

But doormat...you are judging our ability to cope. The unknown is very often worse than the known. All of us are wading through the same stuff, yet it seems that once people are past a certain age with their DC, they disappear from supporting. It shouldn't be. We should all be able to support, no matter what stage. I personally would love to be a support to 2shoes, et al.

lougle i didnt think any different and of course you would be a support to 2shoes et al...didnt think that for a second...as for judging ability to cope...maybe you are right..i never seen it that way but i do get your point....but in my situation all i can say is i was devasted, i never thought that far ahead as ds was only supposed to live a weekend and the goalposts never really changed....i just lived day to day for 11 yrs with the fear that the next morning i would wake up and he would be gone iykwim...nothing was ever explained to me, only to just enjoy him whilst i could and when he started high school, they filled my head with all kinds that i never expected....

So basically SN Education will continue to be unknown to most and unanswered.

Wasn't quite what I had in mind when i started this thread.

Perhaps a simple renaming, wet?

So 'SN:Children and Education'?

Quite Lougle - the bleeding obvious, which is often overlooked

The BEST thing about MNSN is the lack of shielding and the blunt truth. It empowers.

I agree Cornsilk that there is currently a distinction between posters in SEN Education and posters in SN Children who predominantly talk about education. I would feel vulnerable in the education bit because there are some less than friendly/understanding professionals who hang out there, and I suspect some of them don't want to hear our whinges there either.

@2shoesqueenofeverything

oh well, i see no topic for post 16 so will give up

Does children and young adults not cover it, 2shoes?

the problem is, there has been a SN teens topic for a while.

2shoes felt she did not get enough support there (sorry to talk about you, 2shoes). mostly, this was because not enough peopel post there.

one solution is to not segregate out - yes, the majority of posters on this thread have younger children, but we cannot magic up more posters with teen children. if they are not there when there is a separate topic, then likely they will not be there if the topics are integrated. that is just how it is.

what might change, however, is more general support, as more people will, by default, read the posts and threads. some of those posters might have relevant knowledge. the vast majority of posters on this thread have said they don't check SN: teens. so obviously they cannot help and support even if they have relevant info.

how is moving the topics back together (by majority decision, it would appear) discrimination?

it is not saying 2shoes cannot post - in fact, it is creating a space where more people may see anything that 2shoes does post.

I am sorry if 2shoes feels she cannot ever post on SN children, whether that is the board as it currently is, or whether it is a board of mixed children and teens. but I do not actually understand why she feels this way.

I agree with lougle - my dd1 is 'only' 8. but that is not so far away that I am oblivious to what may happen. jsut as when she was 2 and I started posting on this board, I read threads about what might happen once she got to pre-school/school, and statementing etc. because I did not want anything to come up and bite me in the bum - I wanted to be prepared. I wanted to know when I shoudl be starting to look at these things, rather than have them surprise me at the last minute.

and dh and I regularly discuss and revise our plans for dd1. dh (nor I, if it comes ot that) is not getting any younger. dd1 will probably not ever live independently. I am not going to leave it until she is 17/18/19 to address this - we are putting things in place now, and considering various options while we have time to 'mull over' them.

I have said this before, and got a 'well, I am not here to educate' reaction. but that is partly why people come to support boards like this - not 'just' for help with the here and now, but to see what else might be in the pipeline, and work out ways to deal with potential outcomes.

Well, silverfrog..you've just said it all. The answer isn't more topics, more division, more segregation. The answer is more inclusion and breaking down the barriers that LAs and organisations would love us to see. Because the fewer the number, the lower the power.

Isn't it obvious when 80% or more of education realted posts get posted in the SN Children section, that SN Education is actually a redundant forum?

Surely this has sorted itself organically.

All that's need is SN Children and Young People.

Scrap the rest